


What to Expect

by allmylovesatonce



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: AU, Accidental Pregnancy, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2018-10-05 11:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 48,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10306694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmylovesatonce/pseuds/allmylovesatonce
Summary: After a crazy night together, Amy finds herself pregnant with Jake's baby. They have to learn to be parents while navigating their partnership.Set in season 2.





	1. I Triple Dog Dare Ya

It was just an ordinary day. But then again, didn’t every big life event start with just an ordinary day? Amy Santiago would never have guessed how her night would turn out. It had just been an ordinary day.

She’d gotten up early and gotten herself coffee on the way to work. She’d gotten to work five minutes early, as she usually did. As per usual, Jake had strolled in three minutes late. They’d all sat in a morning briefing that didn’t last too long or too short. Amy and Jake paired up on a mugging case that seemed like it would be pretty easy to solve. It was a normal day.

And then Gina invited everyone to the bar to celebrate some dance thing she’d done. Amy couldn’t really keep track anymore. The point was, somehow, after a completely normal day, she’d ended up at Shaw’s Bar. To be fair, that wasn’t really an abnormal occurrence in and of itself. But what happened after was nowhere near normal.

Apparently abnormal things were what happened when Gina was loose with her money and bought everyone shots of tequila.

Terry bailed pretty quickly once he realized how crazy the night was getting. Captain Holt respectfully left with Terry. Hitchcock and Scully fell asleep in a corner booth not very long after arriving. And that left Jake, Gina, Rosa, Charles, and Amy to drink their hearts out. And they really did. Every time they tried to refuse a shot, Gina reminded them that it was Friday. And so they drank. And drank. And drank.

As a cop (and as a human), Amy knew that people sometimes made reckless decisions when they had alcohol in their system. She was always proud of herself for never being that cliché. That night would change her ability to say that. The five of them were sitting in a circular booth, daring each other to do stupid things. It was like they were teenagers.

“Rosa, I dare you to pound back two shots back to back,” Gina practically yelled even though she was sitting right next to Rosa. The other three cheered.  Rosa rolled her eyes and did two of the shots sitting on the table. She slapped the table as the tequila burned her throat.

Then it was Amy’s turn for a dare. “Charles, I dare you to smell Jake’s feet!”

Gina scowled at Amy. “That’s not a very good dare.”

Amy stared blankly back at Gina. “Really? Have you ever caught a whiff of his feet?” Jake looked at her like he was insulted. Amy continued. “Who knows when the last time he washed his socks was. Sometimes I spill baking soda under his desk in hopes it can help from outside his shoes.”

“My God, Ames, they aren’t _that_ bad,” Jake replied defensively.

Amy shrugged. “They can be.” She looked over at Charles evilly. “So smell them.”

Charles grimaced as Jake pulled one of his legs out from under the table and aimed his foot in Charles’s direction. Charles leaned close and sniffed hesitantly. He pulled back quickly, gagging.

“Oh my God,” he said under his breath. “That was terrible.”

“Seriously? They’re that bad?” Jake asked incredulously. He contorted his body to be able to smell his foot. It was no easy feat in a tight booth. He pulled back quickly, shoving his foot back under the table. “Oh my God, Amy, you were right. Those are rank.”

Amy shrugged smugly. “See, Gina? Not a bad dare.”

“Still not that great,” Gina accused. “You wanna see a _good_ dare?” Amy nodded. “Fine. Jake, I dare you to kiss Amy.”

Jake and Amy both threw their hands up in the air defensively. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, Gina. No,” Jake defied.

“She dared you. You have to do it,” Rosa chimed in. Charles nodded excitedly next to Jake.

Amy shook her head vehemently. “No, we’re not doing that.”

“Come on, what’s the harm?” Gina asked. “Jake, it’s been weeks since you and Sophia split up. And Amy, it’s been months since you broke up with what’s his face! You’re both unattached.” Jake and Amy still shook their heads in response.

“What, are you guys chicken?” Charles asked.

Jake glared at Charles. “Chicken? Really, Charles? How old are you?” Jake looked over at Amy nervously. She saw the moment he registered the nervousness on her face. With a small nod, he looked back at the other three. “You want a kiss? Here’s a kiss,” he proclaimed. Amy felt her whole body tense. Maybe Jake hadn’t read the signs. Instead he leaned the other way and he kissed Charles on the cheek. “And there’s your kiss.”

Amy and Rosa both groaned. “Well Jacob, thank you so much for ruining our fun game. I did not need to ever see _that._ ”

“Please,” Amy started with a laugh, “that’s nothing you’ve never done, right, Gina?”

Gina glared at Amy. If her eyes shot daggers, Amy would have been dead. She shook her head at Amy before grabbing her glass and stalking away from the booth. Rosa quickly followed her. Jake got Charles to let him out of the booth and he walked away too. All that was left were Amy and Charles.

“You should have kissed Jake,” he said to her. He pointed at his cheek. “That was pretty nice.”

Amy rolled her eyes, grabbing her glass and leaving the booth too. She walked over to the bar and ordered another beer. It was Friday night and she didn’t work tomorrow. It wasn’t like she had anywhere to be. She supplemented with water in between drinks of her beer. She didn’t want to feel completely abysmal tomorrow. She sat at the bar by herself for a while. She had no idea where Jake had run off to. She hoped he hadn’t left. Gina was making eyes at some random person across the bar, completely ignoring Charles. Rosa looked glued to her phone. She was probably texting Marcus.

Amy thought back to what had just happened. She was a bit mad at Gina for putting them in that position. Granted all she’d thought about lately was Jake. What it would be like to be with him, to kiss him, to wake up next to him. Sometimes it was hard for her to work across from him. Her feelings for him had not disappeared, no matter how much she’d lied to him or herself. When he and Sophia had broken up, she’d foolishly believed that maybe something could happen between them. But it had been several weeks and he didn’t show any signs of being interested in Amy. She’d stayed with Teddy when he’d confessed his feelings. He’d stayed with Sophia when her feelings were ripped out into the open. And now they were both single. Nothing had happened. And likely nothing ever would. No matter how much Amy wanted it to.

She shook her head to herself. She needed to get over her feelings for Jake Peralta. The days of him returning those feelings were gone. This was her reality now. They were partners. And they were friends. And that had to be enough. Nothing was going to change that. Amy sighed to herself. She decided it was time to leave. She pushed herself back from the bar. She thought about telling the others she was leaving, but they were wrapped up in their own stuff. She walked outside and was maybe twenty feet from the door when she heard her name. She turned around and saw Jake running toward her.

“Are you leaving?” He asked, slightly panting.

Amy chuckled at the sight. “Yeah. I think I’ve had enough for the night,” she said with a shrug.

Jake looked at her regretfully. “I’m sorry if Gina made things weird.”

Amy shook her head. “No, she didn’t. I’m just tired. Plus I’ve had a lot to drink.” She looked at Jake inquisitively. “Where did you disappear to?”

Jake smirked. “I was washing my feet in the bathroom.” Amy gaped at him. “And I threw away my socks. You’re right. They were disgusting. Sadly, these shoes may have to meet the same fate. I didn’t realize I was _that_ smelly.”

Amy laughed. “Well it was just your feet. The rest of you is fine.”

Jake grinned at her, holding her gaze. He had an intense look in his eyes. “I am sorry though, about the awkwardness earlier.”

Amy shook her head again. “You really don’t have to be. I mean even if we had kissed, we would have just written it off as an alcohol induced mistake.”

“Mistake?” Jake asked, his face noticeably falling.

“I, uh, you know…” Amy faltered. She didn’t know how to respond. In her mind it wouldn’t really be a mistake. Jake continued to stare at her. She couldn’t form words under his gaze. She stared back, trying to give as good as she was getting. Finally she shrugged. “I guess not.”

“I think it would be different if we weren’t in front of our friends,” Jake offered. Amy couldn’t really tell where he was going.

“Sure,” she said, her thoughts racing through her mind. He stepped closer to her. She matched him and took another step too. They were close. Too close.

“It would be different if someone were to dare us now,” Jake stated, holding Amy’s gaze. She broke eye contact with him and looked at his lips. “Amy,” she saw him say. She looked up at him nervously. “I dare you to kiss –”

She didn’t even let him finish before she leaned up and kissed him. She put both hands on the sides of his face, holding him there. He reacted instantly, wrapping his arms around her and bringing her close. She kissed him deeply, relishing the fact that it was Jake she was kissing. He nipped at her bottom lip and she gasped. Jake turned her around and suddenly she felt her back against the wall. She ran her hands through his hair as she opened her mouth and their tongues danced.

Jake pulled away from the kiss, gasping for breath before kissing along her jaw and down her throat. Amy tried to suppress a moan but couldn’t fully. She was worried if they continued at this pace for much longer, they’d get in trouble. Jake must not have shared her concerns as he moved back to her lips and began kissing her again. She couldn’t pull away. It was all that she’d wanted for so long. She felt his hands everywhere. On her hips, in her hair, running along her back. When she desperately needed air, she pulled back, looking at Jake. His lips were swollen from all their kissing. A grin graced his face.

His voice was impossibly low as he asked, “You wanna get out of here?”

Amy nodded enthusiastically. “God, yes.”

They were both too drunk to drive, so they took a cab. It was almost impossible to restrain herself during the cab ride to Jake’s apartment. Jake must have had the same issue. He reached over and grabbed her hand, clenching it in his. She looked over at him and the intense look in his eyes was still there. Only now it was filled with desire as well.

They quickly paid for their cab and ran up the stairs to his apartment. Jake unlocked his door and threw it open, turning back to Amy and kissing her again as he moved inside, effectively dragging her with him. They scrambled to remove their clothes, taking stripping breaks to kiss. Amy was down to her bra and panties and Jake was down to his boxers when he picked her up. She wrapped her legs around him tightly, kissing him passionately again. Jake stumbled slightly as he carried her to his bed. They fell back onto his bed, Jake bracing himself above her.

He looked down at her. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Amy smiled. “Absolutely.” She reached up and brought him back down for a kiss. She rolled them over so Jake was on his back. She kept kissing him, ready to show him just how much she really wanted this.

^^

Amy woke up the next morning with a screaming headache. Just the noise from the street outside was enough to make her cringe. She reached over to her side table to grab her glasses. She kept feeling around for them but she couldn’t find them. She opened her eyes to look for them. The light flooding in from the window was blinding. But she managed to open one eye and she gasped. She wasn’t at her apartment. She turned and looked the other way and saw a very naked Jake next to her in bed. She covered her mouth with her hands. How could they have done this? She didn’t want her first time with Jake to be after a night of heavy drinking. She wanted it to mean something. Hell, she wanted to remember more of it than she did. As she thought back, she couldn’t remember much. She remembered them kissing outside the bar and quickly stripping once they got to Jake’s. She really just remembered feeling happy. She had no idea what any of this meant for their partnership.

Jake was still sound asleep. Amy was in full panic mode. She couldn’t be here for this. She couldn’t look at Jake as she freaked out about the fact that they’d slept together. She’d slept with one of her best friends. What had she been thinking? Did she think there would be no consequences? She edged out of his bed as quietly and smoothly as she could. She tiptoed around to pick up her clothes. She put them back on as quickly as she could. She grabbed her purse, sparing one last look at Jake before she bolted from his apartment.

Once she was out the door and on the street, she lifted up her purse and screamed into it. She couldn’t believe she’d done something so stupid. She had feelings for Jake, sure, but she shouldn’t have slept with him. Not before they’d even talked about the fact that she still had feelings for him. She felt like she’d just messed everything up beyond repair. Luckily she had a couple days before she had to see him again.

She sat around her apartment the rest of the day, trying to figure things out. She tried to determine how she was going to act around Jake. She really didn’t want anyone knowing they’d slept together. Especially not anyone they worked with. She wanted to talk to Jake before she had to explain it to anyone else. She received three texts from Jake spread throughout the day. They were all short. One said, “Hey.” The next one said, “How are you?” and the last one simply said, “So…” And Amy was such a jerk that she didn’t reply to any of them. She wasn’t at the point in her day yet where she could talk to Jake about what happened. She was still up in her own mind and there was no room for Jake’s texts there.

She spent all of Sunday crafting her careful responses to anything Jake might say. She had a response for why she hadn’t responded to his texts. She had a response for how her weekend was. She had a response for pretty much everything.

So when Monday came around, she felt pretty confident as she went into work. She knew things would probably be awkward around Jake, but she was prepared to deal with it. Granted, she still didn’t know how they would really deal with what happened, but she had a response ready for if he asked to talk about it. Maybe it was time she told him she still had feelings for him. Maybe it was time he knew she wanted to be with him.

She sat at her desk, working and trying to ignore the elevator every time it dinged. She had to fight looking up every time to see if it was Jake. She went toward the evidence lock up, looking for something for a case and when she returned, Jake was there. Amy could hear Charles chattering about something from where she stood by Rosa’s desk. She couldn’t really focus on it though. As she saw Jake walking in and getting settled, she was having flashbacks. Bits of memories she’d thought she didn’t have. How it felt being with him, how it felt being kissed by him. Everything was coming back. His touches, his sighs, everything.

“Guys! Jake has big news!” Charles cheered.

Amy recoiled in horror. Charles couldn’t know, could he? Would Jake have told him?

“What’s the big news?” Gina asked from her desk. Amy’s head whipped over to her before she looked back in Charles and Jake’s directions.

Jake was sitting at his desk, an amused but annoyed expression gracing his face. “Jake got back together with Sophia!” Charles yelled excitedly.

Amy felt her stomach drop. Jake looked over at her cautiously. She hoped she had a good poker face but she was fairly certain she just looked horrified. Jake almost looked sad and confused as he stared at her. He schooled his expression into excitement as he looked back at Charles.

For all of the responses Amy had prepared, she didn’t have one for this.


	2. Avoiding Conflict is Trending

Amy quickly excused herself and walked for the evidence lock up. She stood there trying to catch her breath. How could Jake be back with Sophia on Monday when she snuck out of his bed on Saturday morning? Maybe Jake wasn’t the guy she thought he was. Amy felt tears in her eyes that she desperately hoped wouldn’t fall. She just didn’t understand. She thought she’d be able to explain her fears to Jake and he’d understand and they could try to be together. Apparently not. Apparently she couldn’t be with Jake.

She didn’t think she’d been in the evidence lock up too long when she heard the door open. She wiped the couple of tears off her cheeks and whipped around to see who walked in. Rosa closed the door slowly behind her.

“I was just looking for some evidence,” Amy lied.

Rosa stared at her knowingly. “Sure, I believe that.” She walked closer to Amy. “What’s up? And be honest.”

“Why do you care?” Amy asked. “You never want to know what’s going on in our personal lives.”

“I do when you’re visibly upset,” Rosa defended. “Why don’t you tell me why you’re upset? Or I can just make an educated guess.” Amy stared fearfully at Rosa. “My guess is that you’re upset because Jake is back with Sophia with no warning and you, yet again, missed your chance to tell him how you feel.” She leveled Amy with a knowing look. “How spot on am I?”

Amy paused, trying to decide how much she should confess. She swallowed harshly. “Not as spot on as you think you are.” Rosa shrugged, urging her to continue. Amy crossed her arms and looked down at her feet. “I slept with Jake.”

“What?” Rosa exclaimed loudly, stepping closer to Amy. Amy gestured at the door as she shushed Rosa. “When?” Rosa asked, quieter this time.

Amy lowered her voice, “Friday night.”

Rosa laughed. “No really, when?”

“Friday night,” Amy maintained.

“Seriously?” Rosa asked incredulously. “Friday night when you wouldn’t kiss each other on a dare? Then you ended up sleeping together? I’m calling bullshit.”

“No, it happened. He followed me out of the bar and we talked and kinda flirted and one thing led to another,” Amy explained.

Rosa looked at Amy like she was processing her story. She looked at the door and then back to Amy. “Then why is Jake back with Sophia? I don’t get it.”

“I don’t either,” Amy agreed. She faltered for a moment. “Well, I kinda do. But not completely.”

Rosa stared at her blankly. “What else happened?”

“I kinda snuck out of his apartment the next morning and didn’t reply to any of his texts,” Amy admitted guiltily.

“Why?”

“I was freaking out. I was trying to process how I felt before I talked to Jake. I never assumed that if I didn’t respond for a day that he’d be back together with his ex-girlfriend! I figured I’d tell him that I wanted to talk to him once we both got to work. Then I’d tell him that I was scared but that I want to be with him and we should give us a shot. How could I ever imagine that this would happen?” Amy asked, freaking out a bit.

“Calm down,” Rosa insisted. “Maybe you should still talk to him.” Amy laughed in reply. “I mean it, Amy. Be an adult.”

“Nope, I’m okay,” Amy decided.

“You avoiding your feelings led to Jake finding out about them at the wrong time, after he was with someone else. And then you avoiding talking to him led to this. So how do you think this will actually play out?” Rosa questioned.

Amy sighed, wringing her hands together. “He moved on. I don’t think I can talk to him. If he wanted to be with me, he wouldn’t have gotten back with Sophia.”

“Or maybe he’s avoiding something too,” Rosa offered.

“You saw him. He’s happy as a clam,” Amy figured. “Talking to him will just mess up our partnership.”

“Do whatever, but know that I think you’re being an idiot,” Rosa replied, walking toward the door.

“Rosa?” Amy asked quickly.

Rosa turned and looked back at her. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

Amy nodded her thanks before Rosa walked out the door. She waited around for a minute before steeling herself and walking back out into the bullpen.

^^

It was close to lunch time when Amy had to actually interact with Jake. He walked to her desk and stood there until she looked his way. “Yes?” she asked politely.

He looked nervous. “Could I talk to you for a minute?” he asked hesitantly. “In private.”

Amy didn’t want to talk to Jake. Not even a little bit. She liked her idea of avoiding him or talking solely about work. She knew if she talked to Jake in private, awkward things would be brought up and she was not ready for that. She was still reeling from the Sophia reveal earlier in the day. She didn’t know how to say no, so she stood up and followed him from the bullpen.

They must think alike because he led her directly back to the evidence lock up. She closed the door behind him, moving slowly into the room. She hoped she could stretch out the time before he started talking. She saw him standing against one of the shelves. He still looked nervous. He affixed her with an uncomfortable gaze. She didn’t know what was going through his head. Maybe that was her own fault though. Maybe if she’d responded to his texts, she’d know what he was thinking.

“Listen, I just wanted to start by apologizing,” Jake began. Amy’s stomach sunk. She didn’t want Jake to apologize for them sleeping together. Even though she’d royally messed things up, she didn’t necessarily regret it. She opened her mouth to respond, but Jake continued. “I didn’t want you to find out like that. With Charles just blurting it out like it was his business to share. I’m sorry about that.”

“Oh,” Amy replied. “That.” Jake nodded. She shrugged. “It was fine,” she lied.

“It happened last night,” Jake explained. Amy didn’t really want to hear it. She started to interrupt him but he kept talking. “She just came by my apartment and begged me to take her back. She said she really missed me.”

“And you missed her, so it was perfect,” Amy responded, hating herself.

Jake opened his mouth and closed it. He shrugged a little. “Yeah, I guess…” he said, trailing off. He looked at Amy properly for the first time in the lock up. “I just wanted to make sure we’re okay.”

Amy plastered on a fake smile. “Yeah, of course!” She replied, falsely chipper. “If you’re happy, I’m happy.” Jake stared at her for a moment. It looked like he was trying to find the crack in her armor. Trying to find the truth. Amy was determined to keep it hidden. “I just don’t want anything to come between our partnership,” Amy furthered.

“Our partnership?” Jake asked weakly.

“Yep,” Amy answered. “Our partnership is important. Don’t you think?”

Jake smiled tightly. “Sure. Our _partnership_ is very important.” Amy could tell he wanted her to acknowledge their relationship as more than just partners but she couldn’t. Being friends with Jake would be tough given what happened. She hated herself for admitting so, but it was the truth. She didn’t know how things would be with Jake. But she knew they were good partners and she was determined to preserve that.

“So we’re good?” Amy asked. “I need to get back to work,” she explained before Jake could respond. Jake nodded curtly, gesturing for her to lead the way out of the lock up.

Amy and Jake were walking down the hall when Charles approached them just before the bullpen. He had a strange look on his face as he looked at Jake. “Jakey, someone _special_ is here to see you.”

Amy was as confused as Jake seemed to be. They walked toward their desks and Sophia was standing at Jake’s. Amy took a deep breath, wanting to center herself before having to go through with this. Jake looked over at her with a nervous glance. In the spare seconds they locked eyes, Amy realized they’d made an agreement. They wouldn’t tell anyone of their night together. And definitely not Sophia. Jake smiled his same tight smile from before and walked toward Sophia as she held up a box for him.

“Hey, I hope it’s okay but I brought your favorite for lunch. Pepperoni from Al’s!” Sophia explained happily.

“From Al’s?” Amy questioned. “I thought you thought that Al’s was –”

“My favorite,” Jake quickly interrupted Amy, looking at her with a ‘please go along with this glare.’ “Al’s is my favorite. Thank you!”

“Anything for my man,” Sophia cheered, wrapping Jake in a hug.

Amy could hear Charles’s awws from his desk. She felt like running from the room. She sat at her desk, determined to stare at nothing but the screen. She could still see Jake and Sophia hugging from her peripherals.

Rosa walked up and kicked the side of her desk. Amy jumped. “Santiago, I have a case I’m working on. Wanna jump on? I’m about to go interview witnesses.”

Amy saw this for what it was, a lifeline. “Absolutely,” Amy said immediately, standing up and grabbing her jacket.

“Peralta,” Rosa started, “is it okay if I take your partner?”

Jake turned his attention from Sophia and the half rate pizza and looked at Rosa and over at Amy. He narrowed his eyes at her questioningly for just a second. He looked back at Rosa with a shrug. “Sure. We don’t have anything pressing.”

Rosa nodded and led Amy from the precinct.

Amy took the time on their drive to inform Rosa of her conversation with Jake. Rosa let out a dry laugh and shook her head. “You realize what he was doing, right?”

“What?”

“He was giving you a chance to confess your feelings. He was giving you the chance to fight for him. But you didn’t, because you were an idiot like I said you were. And now he’s committed himself in his head to Sophia. He was giving himself a last chance with Amy Santiago who he’s had feelings for since who knows when. And you shot him down…again,” Rosa explained, at length. 

“I didn’t shoot him down,” Amy argued.  

“But you didn’t fight for him. You didn’t tell him to ditch Sophia and be with you,” Rosa clarified for Amy.

“Do you really see me doing that type of thing?” Amy asked.

Rosa looked over at her as they pulled up at the building. “No. But I think it’s something you _should_ do,” Rosa offered.

^^

It was five weeks later and Jake and Sophia were still together. Amy was still miserable. Sophia popped in to the precinct more often than she should. She was disgustingly affectionate. Amy could tell Jake didn’t like that she was so affectionate in front of his colleagues. Apparently Sophia was oblivious to his discomfort.

Amy often relegated herself to working somewhere else when Sophia showed up. Sometimes Amy would take her work to the break room. Sometimes she’d find herself in the evidence lock up or the file room. Once she found herself in an empty interrogation room. If anyone noticed the pattern of Amy leaving when Sophia showed up, they blessedly stayed quiet.

Amy was working from the break room when Rosa walked in to eat her lunch. “What are you doing in here?” Rosa asked, sitting down across from Amy.

Amy gestured her head toward Jake’s desk. Rosa looked back and saw Sophia laughing at something Jake said and rubbing her hand along his shoulder. She looked back at Amy and groaned.

“She’s overcompensating,” Rosa stated.

“What?”

“She feels bad for breaking up with him the last time so she’s overcompensating this time. That’s why she always brings him lunches from the places she thinks he likes. That’s why she’s here all the time. That’s why she always touches him and laughs at everything he says. I mean, I think Jake can be funny but let me tell you, _no one_ is that funny. She’s overcompensating,” Rosa explained.

“Hmm,” Amy pondered the merits of Rosa’s argument. “Either way, he seems to be eating it up.”

“Well people tend to eat up attention where they can get it when they’re starved for the attention of the one person they really want it from,” Rosa replied, one eyebrow raised.

Amy shook her head. “You’re ridiculous.”

Rosa glared at Amy. Suddenly she softened her expression. “Are you okay?”

Amy rolled her eyes. “I guess. It’s my own fault anyway.”

“It’s not completely your fault,” Rosa countered.

Amy smiled sadly at Rosa. “It is, actually. I could have not been a coward and then I wouldn’t be avoiding my desk and working in the break room. I wouldn’t have spent the last five weeks basically not talking to one of my best friends unless it was about work.”

“That’s a façade. If you told him you had feelings for him, I really think he’d leave her,” Rosa replied. “He’s not happy. But he would be with you.”  

“You’re crazy,” Amy said with a shake of her head. “And your food stinks.”

“What?”

“Seriously, it smells so bad. What even is that?” Amy asked, recoiling in disgust, covering her nose.

Rosa looked at her like she was crazy. “It’s a Caesar salad. It smells fine.”

“No, it smells gross,” Amy argued.

“Are you sure you’re not smelling Boyle’s lunch? Or Hitchcock and Scully?”

“No, it’s your damn salad,” Amy insisted, still covering her nose. She gathered up her papers. “I guess I’m going to go work in the evidence lock up.”

“Or you could just not avoid conflict…” Rosa offered.

Amy glared at her as she walked out of the room. Amy wound around the corner in the hall and walked straight into Terry. She jumped back. “Oops! Sorry, Terry!” Amy exclaimed.

“No need to be sorry,” Terry replied with a smile.

Amy caught of whiff of the man in front of her and she felt her stomach turn. “Are you wearing a new aftershave?”

Terry touched his face. “Nope, same one as always.” He looked at Amy curiously. “Why?”

“Oh, nothing,” Amy said, “you just smell different.” Terry looked at her weirdly. “Not badly! I promise!” she lied. She quickly walked around Terry and for the evidence lock up. She sat down and placed her files on her lap.

She thought about how lately she had found herself more sensitive to smells. She had felt her stomach turn when she smelled Rosa’s lunch and Terry’s aftershave. She’d felt sick a couple of times in the last week, but she’d only been nauseous. She’d never actually puked. She’d also been especially tired lately. She pulled out her phone and looked at her calendar. She started doing the math in her head. It was possible, but not likely. She must just be feeling weird.

She tried to keep working, but thoughts were eating away at her. She placed her files back on her desk, ignoring Jake’s curious stares, and ran for the elevator. She walked briskly to the nearest drug store, ready to prove her latest hunch wrong.

^^

She waited until everyone seemed busiest. She snuck into the ladies’ room and peed on the stick. She washed her hands and set a timer on her phone. Her anxiety was killing her. She needed to know _now_. She held the test on a paper towel in her hand. She closed her eyes, standing there, willing it to show her results early. She leaned against the wall, trying to breathe deeply.

The door opened quickly and Amy couldn’t convincingly hide the test before Rosa walked in. Rosa stood in her spot and stared at Amy. Amy was standing there with her hands behind her back and a terrified look on her face. “What are you doing, Santiago?”

Amy shrugged unconvincingly. “Nothing. Just hanging out in the bathroom. You?”

Rosa shook her head at her. “What are you hiding?”

“Hiding?” Amy asked with a laugh. Her laugh was too high pitched. Her nerves gave her away.

“Amy,” Rosa said gently.

Amy sighed and brought her hands out from behind her back, showing Rosa the pregnancy test. It was still blank, waiting for results.

Rosa gasped softly. “You think you’re pregnant?” Amy nodded nervously. “Oh my God. Why isn’t Jake in here? Should I go get him?” Rosa asked, stepping back toward the door.

“No!” Amy almost yelled, grabbing Rosa’s arm and yanking her back. Rosa looked down at Amy’s hand on her arm. She wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Don’t worry, I washed my hands.”

“Why don’t you let me go get Jake?” Rosa asked. “Or could it be someone else’s?”

Amy released Rosa’s arm and started pacing. “It would be Jake’s. I just want to know for sure before I bring Jake into this.” Rosa nodded understandingly. Amy couldn’t stop pacing. Rosa stood there, leaning against the sink next to Amy’s phone.

Amy froze as the Jeopardy theme song started playing on her phone. “Seriously? That’s your alarm?” Rosa ridiculed.

“Shut up,” Amy replied quickly.

She stood frozen, wanting to look at the results but afraid of what it might say.

“You want me to do it?” Rosa asked.

Amy shook her head. “No. I need to.” She took a deep breath and opened her clenched hands.

Positive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it took me a while to post this new chapter. Sorry about that! I hope it was worth the wait! PLEASE let me know what you thought!  
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos on the last chapter! I'm happy to have snuck a surprise in there for you all!


	3. To Baby or Not to Baby?

The first thing Amy could hear was Rosa yelling at her to breathe. She could feel herself fighting for air but felt none entering her lungs. Rosa’s hands gripped her shoulders, gently shaking her. Amy started to feel dizzy. She stilled herself and took a deep breath, doing her best to regulate her breathing. The last thing she needed was to pass out in the bathroom at work and have everyone find out she was pregnant because of it. It occurred to her as an afterthought that hyperventilating was probably not good for the baby either.

Amy finally looked Rosa in the eye. Rosa looked terrified. Or at least as terrified as Amy had ever seen her. Rosa was still gripping her shoulders. “Are you okay?” she asked gently.

Amy nodded. When Rosa looked unsure, Amy replied, “I’m feeling better. I promise. Just a mild panic attack.” Amy wrung her hands together. “Damn I really want a cigarette right now.”

Rosa scrunched her face. “I don’t know what you’re planning to do about the baby, but I don’t recommend that.”

“Yeah, I know. Cold turkey time, I suppose,” Amy replied with a grimace. She sighed. “I can do this.”

“Go cold turkey?”

“No,” Amy corrected. “I can figure out what the hell I’m gonna do.”

“Maybe you should start by going home,” Rosa suggested.

Amy laughed pointedly. “Good one, Rosa. That’s so like me.”

Rosa rolled her eyes. “Dude, there’s like two hours left of work. I think we’ll be okay without you.” Amy started to argue and Rosa stepped closer to her with a menacing look. “Go. Home.” Amy conceded defeat and started to leave the bathroom.

“Wait!” Rosa called. Amy turned back. “Don’t you want your test?”

Amy wrinkled her nose. “You think I want to keep something I peed on? Eww, Rosa.” She pointed to the trash. “Just throw it away. But bury it.” Rosa did as instructed.

Rosa was guiding Amy out of the bathroom when they walked smack into Jake and Terry. Amy felt flustered. She could see the concern on Jake’s face as he looked at her but she couldn’t have him there right now.

“Ames, is everything okay?” he asked, reaching toward her.

She jumped back. “I’m fine.”

“She’s not,” Rosa chimed in. “She’s sick. I found her in the bathroom sick. Sarge, is it okay if she goes home a bit early?”

Terry nodded his head. “Of course. Amy, go home and feel better.”

“I was gonna drive her home but I just remembered I have to go run an errand for a case I’m working,” Rosa mentioned. “Jake, do you think you could take her home?” Amy fought the urge to slap Rosa. She couldn’t believe Rosa was doing this to her.

Jake looked over at Amy. “Yeah, of course I can do that. Come on, Ames,” he answered, gesturing her to head toward the bullpen.

“Well, great,” Amy replied sarcastically. She walked toward the bullpen but turned her head to glare at Rosa. Rosa smirked smugly.

Amy was silent for the ride from the precinct to her apartment. It occurred to her that she hadn’t really spent any long periods of time with Jake since they’d slept together. She didn’t really know how to talk to him anymore. It killed her that their relationship had deteriorated so much. Especially now.

“Are you doing okay?” Jake asked, eyes on the road.

“I’m fine,” Amy lied.

He looked over at her. “Are you sure? Because I know it’s been a while since we really talked, but you can still talk to me, Amy. I’m still here for you. Even if…things are weird.”

“I appreciate that,” she answered, “But really, I’m fine.”

Jake sighed. “Okay.”

Amy knew that Rosa made Jake take her home so she would tell him about the baby. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t do it yet. Amy didn’t even know what she was going to do so she didn’t want to drag Jake into it. He had Sophia. He didn’t need Amy to wreck that before she’d even decided anything.

Jake pulled up at Amy’s apartment and parked. Amy wanted to get out of the car as fast as possible, but Jake started talking to her. “You said we were okay. You know after…everything,” he said, staring out the windshield. “But we aren’t are we?” He looked over at her, fixing her with a heavy gaze.

Amy wasn’t in the mood for this. She had too much on her mind as it was. “Why does it even matter, Jake?” she asked harshly. “You’re back with Sophia. Isn’t that all you wanted anyway?”

Jake sighed. Rather than confirm or deny what she said, he changed the subject. “Do you want me to pick you up tomorrow and take you back to your car?”

Amy shook her head. “Nah, I can just catch a cab.”

Jake rolled his eyes. “Really? It’s that bad being around me that you won’t even let me help you out?”

Amy sat there silently for a moment. She couldn’t do this right now. Looking over at Jake, she said, “Thanks for the ride home.” Then she opened the door and left an exasperated Jake sitting there.

Amy walked up to her apartment, thanking God that it was Friday and she didn’t have to see anyone all weekend. Not Jake with his pained expressions. Not Rosa with her betrayals. She could just spend her time sorting out the mess she’d gotten into.

Amy laid awake that night, weighing the pros and cons of the baby. The cons stood out to her much more than the pros. She’d be a single mother. It would be hard for her to make captain one day as a single mother. She didn’t know if Jake wants kids. Sometimes she didn’t even know if she wanted kids. There had always been a way she’d imagined having kids in her mind. They had been married for a while and she was advancing in her career. They’d decided it was the right time and they planned it out perfectly. She and the blurry blob of a husband were happy and so ready for this child. But that wasn’t how the situation was playing out for Amy. The blurry blob was Jake, which would be nice if Amy were actually _with_ Jake. The point she reached before sleep was that she needed more time to think about it.

Amy made herself breakfast in the morning and tried not to think too much about it. When the nausea hit, she was forced to think about it though. Amy was sitting on her couch, curled in a ball when she heard a knock at the door. She wasn’t expecting anyone. What if it was Jake and he’d ignored her need for space and come back anyway? Amy considered just being silent and letting whoever it was leave. At the second knock, she gave up though and got off her couch to open the door.

It wasn’t Jake. Instead it was her brother Miguel and his two year old daughter Elena. She stared at him, wondering why he was here.

“Hey, Sis!” he greeted, trying to step in the door.

“Why are you here, Miguel?” Amy asked, stepping back so he could cross the threshold.

“Well, when I told Elena that we were going into the city today, she begged to see her Aunt Amy,” her brother reported with a smile.

Amy smiled down at her niece, though she didn’t believe her brother’s story. “So let me guess, Julie had to work and you don’t want to hang out at the park by yourself?”

He looked guilty. “You are more or less correct. She’s at a conference. But Elena did really want to see you. When I said we were going to see Aunt Amy she cheered. Honestly.”

Amy smiled and reached down to pick up her niece, giving her a big hug. “How are you doing, my little sweetheart?”

“Good,” Elena answered in her sweet 2 year old voice.

Amy gave her one more squeeze before setting her back down. “Good, I’m glad to hear that. I’m happy to see you!”

“Elena,” Miguel began, stooping down toward his daughter, “can you ask Aunt Amy if she wants to come to the park with us?”

Amy shook her head at her brother, stifling a laugh.

“Amy, wanna go park?” Elena asked, tugging on the legs of Amy’s pajama pants.

Amy stooped down to match her brother. “You let me change and I’ll be happy to go to the park with you, sweetie.” She looked over at her brother with a disapproving stare. “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me on a Saturday morning.”

“Doing this to you? You mean letting you spend time with your favorite niece?” Miguel replied accusingly.

“You know very well Maria will fight her for that title. She may be 14 now, but she’ll fight for that title,” Amy reminded him.

“Yeah, yeah, just go change.”

Amy changed quickly, deciding her day of decision making could wait. It had been a while since she’d gotten to spend any time with her family. Miguel was the one who lived closest to her and she still only saw him occasionally. They were the closest in age. He was 18 months older than Amy. They’d been close all their lives. On a normal day, it wouldn’t take any persuasion to get Amy to spend time with him. Even with everything going on, it still didn’t require too much.

As they were leaving her apartment, her brother promised her coffee on the way to the park. So they sat there, drinking coffee (Amy got tea) and chatting, watching Elena play to her heart’s content. In a moment of silence, Amy thought back to when Miguel and Julie announced they were having Elena. Amy had been shocked because Miguel had confessed to her once that Julie didn’t want children. And yet, there played Elena, one of the cutest children she’d ever seen.

“Can I ask you a question,” Amy asked her brother. He nodded. “Julie didn’t want kids, right?”

“Nope,” he confirmed.

“And yet, there’s Elena,” Amy said, gesturing to her niece.

Miguel chuckled. “Yeah, she didn’t want kids because she was afraid they would get in the way of her career. She’d worked her butt off to become a lawyer and she spent all that money on law school. She didn’t want to give it up. But we have these friends that are both doctors. They had to go out of town for a funeral and couldn’t bring their two kids with them so they asked Julie and me to watch them. And it was rough at first, but by the time our friends got home, the kids were in love with Julie. And I could tell she loved them back. I never expected it to mean anything, but later that night she told me that maybe we should talk about it sometime. And so we did. A lot, actually. And four months later she was pregnant with Elena.”

Amy smiled as she looked at her niece playing happily.

“I never was going to try and change her mind. I was happy just being with Julie. I didn’t need to have kids. Kinda like you said you felt once upon a time. But now, I can’t imagine not having Elena,” Miguel gushed. He looked over at Amy. “Why do you ask?”

Amy shrugged. “No real reason. Just thought about it,” she answered. Her brother looked at her disbelievingly. “Okay, I guess I was just thinking about how sometimes things can happen unexpectedly and it’s hard to tell if it’ll end up being a good thing or not. Sometimes it’s hard to tell.”

Miguel nodded understandingly. “Well for Julie, she spent a lot of time truly deciding if she felt ready. And when she did, I was too.” He looked her in the eye pointedly. “I don’t know what your unexpected thing is, but maybe you need to think about how ready you are for it. Not how much it scares you. Not how hard it might be. But think about how ready you are to do whatever this thing is.” Amy looked at her brother, giving him a small smile. He nudged her with his shoulder. “My guess though, is that you’re more ready for it than you think you are. Because you’re Amy freaking Santiago.” Amy laughed at her brother.

“Thanks, Miguel,” she said, nudging him back.

“What are big brothers for?”

Soon Amy got up and walked to join Elena as she played. Amy loved spending time with her family and days like this one really reminded her why. Amy’s heart felt full when Elena threw her chubby arms around Amy’s neck and hugged her tightly.

As Amy walked away from the park with her brother and her niece, she noted that the night before all she’d been able to think about were the cons. Today gave her many pros to think about as well. She had to imagine that she and Jake could make a baby just as cute as Elena.

That night when Amy laid awake, she really thought about what it would be like to be a mother. She thought of the inevitable stress that comes with it. But this time, she also thought of the undeniable joy that also accompanies it. Amy thought of her brother saying he was ambivalent on having children and yet now he couldn’t imagine his life without them. She thought of Terry with his twins. They were his whole world.

Of course, her career still worried her. She didn’t want to sacrifice all the gains she’d made. And it wasn’t like her job was a 100% safe job. She could be killed on the job with no warning. What if she had a child that she left an orphan? Well, they wouldn’t really be an orphan because they’d have Jake. But that was if Jake even wanted to be a part of the baby’s life. Amy was stressing herself out again and she didn’t know how to stop it from happening.

She had one more day in her weekend. She may have plenty of time before a decision _had_ to be made, but Amy was determined to make up her mind as soon as possible. By the end of the weekend if she could. Amy certainly had a lot to think about.

^^

Amy walked into work on Monday with a confidence about her that had been lacking for quite a while. Rosa approached her in the break room. Amy was making herself a cup of tea when she heard Rosa step in line next to her. “So how was your weekend?” she asked vaguely.

Amy nodded. “It was good,” she replied as she turned to look at Rosa. “I made an appointment.”

Awareness spread across Rosa’s face. She looked at Amy seriously. “Okay. Do you want me to go with you? Don’t let anyone make a crack about this to you. If anyone does, I’ll kill them. This is your choice. It’s your body.”

Amy smiled and started laughing. “I made an appointment to confirm the pregnancy,” she admitted.

Rosa glared at Amy. “She kept that purposely vague, didn’t you?”

Amy snickered. “Yeah, I did. What can I say? I’m in a good mood.” She looked around before she leaned in closer to Rosa. “I decided I’m going to keep the baby.”

“Really?” Amy nodded. “Well congratulations, Santiago. That’s exciting,” Rosa responded, actually smiling.

Amy smiled more to herself than to Rosa. “Yeah, you know I finally feel like it is exciting. I don’t know what it is, but I’m just in a really good mood.” She sighed happily.

Rosa nodded approvingly. “Great. So when are you going to tell Jake?”

Amy glared at her. “Why are you trying to ruin my good mood, Rosa? Do you just hate joy _that_ much?”

“I’m asking because you _need_ to do it,” Rosa defended.

Amy rolled her eyes. “I’ll get to it when I get to it,” she said, storming out of the break room.

She sat down at her desk with a huff. Jake looked up at her. “Is everything okay?”

Amy looked over at Rosa with disgust and then over at Jake. “It’s fine.”

Jake released a sigh and turned his chair toward the break room. “She was in a great mood today, Rosa. Why did you have to ruin it?” Amy looked up at him, stifling a laugh at the exasperated look on his face. “Do you just hate joy _that_ much, Rosa?” Jake accused, same as Amy had. Rosa rolled her eyes and walked back to her desk. Amy tried to keep the smile off her face as she looked at her computer screen. She suspected Jake noticed the corners of her mouth betraying her.

^^

Amy came to work Friday morning after her appointment. She walked past Rosa’s desk and urged her to follow Amy to the evidence lock up. Once Amy made sure the door was closed behind them, she held up a piece of paper for Rosa. “Well, it’s a baby!” Amy exclaimed quietly.

“So you’re for sure pregnant?”

Amy nodded. “Yep, six weeks.”

“Sweet, so – ” Rosa began before Amy cut her off.

“You can stop asking,” Amy interrupted. “I’m going to tell Jake today.”

“Good,” Rosa replied. “I mean it’s about time.”

Amy scoffed. “I’ve only known for a week. Okay. One week is not that big a deal in the grand scheme of a pregnancy.”

“I guess not. But it’s not great when you’ve literally seen him every day of that week,” Rosa argued.

“Whatever,” Amy sighed. “I’m telling him today. That’s the important part. So you can get off my back now. Okay?”

Amy walked out of the evidence room and straight for her desk. When she’d gotten out of the elevator, she’d been determined to tell Rosa about her appointment. She hadn’t even noticed that Jake’s desk was empty. Amy looked over at Terry. “Where’s Jake today?”

“He’s in court,” Terry explained.

“So he’s gone all day?” Amy asked. Terry nodded. Amy sat in her chair and sighed. Naturally when she was finally ready to tell Jake, he wasn’t even there.

^^

Amy somehow managed to finish the day without her nerves getting the best of her. She’d decided that in the end, it was better to not tell Jake at work anyway. He deserved better than having this rather large bomb dropped on him with all of their coworkers within earshot. Amy had a plan. She was going to go to Jake’s and sit him down and tell him as articulately as she could. Hopefully, it would explain away some of the behavior in the last few weeks that he’d called her out on.

Amy was filled with nerves as she drove to Jake’s apartment. The whole way there she was rehearsing her speech in her head. More than anything, she hoped Jake was at least understanding. It was quite an interesting situation they’d gotten themselves in and she hoped that he wouldn’t be mad about it. She didn’t know if their relationship could handle any more deterioration. Especially given the fact that she was carrying their baby.

Someone was leaving Jake’s building as Amy was approaching so she ran and caught the door. She walked up to his floor and paused outside his door. The minute that door opened, everything was going to change. The thought of that weighed heavy on Amy’s mind. Jake needed to know though. Rosa wouldn’t have been griping at Amy for a week if Jake didn’t need to know. Amy didn’t know how to just dramatically change someone’s life though. This had to be handled delicately.

Her hand was shaking slightly as she reached out to knock on the door. She gave a decisive knock and waited for him to answer. The door opened but it wasn’t Jake that greeted Amy.

“Hey there, Amy!” Sophia greeted.

Amy screamed internally. Of course his girlfriend was there. “Hey, Sophia,” Amy said, faking enthusiasm.

“What brings you by?”

“Umm, I was here to see Jake. Is he here?” Amy asked, looking past her into his apartment.

“Oh not yet,” Sophia answered with a sad expression.

“But you’re…” Amy started, trailing off.

“I’m making Jake dinner. I wanted to surprise him,” she explained. She looked down and smoothed out the apron she was wearing. “Thankfully he’s terrible at hiding his spare key.”

The knot inside of Amy loosened slightly. At least they hadn’t exchanged keys. Why did that make her happy? Jake was still with someone else? What difference did it make if he’d given her a key or not? Amy was losing it.

“So do you want to wait here for him?” Sophia asked kindly. Amy hated how kind she was. She hadn’t interacted too much with Sophia, but she wasn’t a monster. Sophia was actually a nice person who seemed to care about Jake a lot.  Amy needed to stop blaming her for the fact that she wasn’t with Jake. It was her own damn fault.

“No,” Amy said with a sigh. “I’ll just talk to him at work, I guess. Thanks though!”

“Okay,” Sophia replied. “It was good to see you, Amy.”

Amy smiled. “You too.”

Amy walked back down the stairs of Jake’s building. It had taken her a week to build up the courage to almost tell Jake that she was pregnant. And it had turned out like this. How long would it take to build up that courage again? She felt bad leaving without telling him. Rosa would be pissed. But Amy couldn’t tell him in front of Sophia. They’d made their eye contact pact to not tell anyone.

Amy was chastising herself as she walked out of his building. She was leaving right as Jake was arriving. He looked shocked to see her on his steps. About as shocked as she was at their timing.

“Amy? What are you doing here?” Jake asked curiously.

“Umm, nothing,” Amy lied. She walked closer to him and paused awkwardly.

Jake furrowed his brow, looking confused. “Are you sure you’re okay? I hate to sound like a broken record, but you can talk to me.”

Amy smiled sadly. “I know I can.”

“Then why don’t you?” Jake asked painfully. “We don’t really talk.” Amy looked down at her feet. “I know something has been off with you and I just want to help.” Amy looked up at him. He ducked his head a little to make eye contact with her. “You wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

Amy took a deep breath. No time like the present. There was never going to be the perfect way to tell Jake, so she decided to just tell him there. With a sigh she said, “I’m pregnant.”

Jake looked visibly shocked. “Wow, uh, really?” Amy nodded. He looked like he was processing information. “How far along are you?”

“Six weeks.”

“Six weeks, cool,” Jake replied. She could tell when he realized what that meant. “Wait, six weeks?” She nodded. “Six weeks…” he said again, trailing off. He looked at her, confusion written across his face. “Amy, are you saying it’s…mine?” He almost whispered the last word.

Amy swallowed harshly. “Yeah, it is.”

“Oh my God,” Jake whispered. “I can’t – ”

“Hey, baby!” Sophia called from one of Jake’s windows. He looked up at her. “I’m making you dinner! You should come up before it gets cold!”

Amy suddenly remembered why it had taken her so long to tell Jake. She remembered why the last six weeks had been so brutal. Amy didn’t wait for Jake to reply, she walked to her car as he replied to Sophia and started it. Jake heard the sound of her car starting and shook his head. Amy ignored him and put it in drive. She could see him yelling for her but she couldn’t be there any longer. Amy drove away from the curb and away from Jake.

^^

Amy let herself in to her apartment, fully ready to just go to bed and cry herself to sleep. She’d started the day so happy and now she felt so miserable. At least she told him. Rosa would be off her back now. She had no idea how he was reacting. Part of her regretted leaving. But Sophia helped remind her how much she didn’t belong there. He had everything he wanted. What would happen if Sophia didn’t want kids? Would Jake never see his kid? Amy was going over a million terrible scenarios when she heard a knock at her door.

Without even looking through the peephole, she opened the door. Jake was standing there with an angry expression on his face. “Hi,” she said weakly.

He walked past her into her apartment. “Seriously? Hi? That’s it?” he replied angrily.

Amy closed the door, leaning against it for support. Jake was staring at her. She could tell he had a lot to say. She gave him a small nod, encouraging him to get it all off his chest.

“I don’t get it, Amy,” he said in a small voice. “I don’t get how we can not talk for weeks at your insistence and –”

“My insistence?” Amy interrupted. “Like you tried so hard to talk to me and I just shut you down?”

Jake looked guilty. “Fine, I guess I was pretty guilty of that too. But my point is I don’t get how we can do all that and then you can just drop this bomb on me and then leave. How do you think that’s okay, Amy?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “Your girlfriend was calling you up for dinner. I figured you had more important things to do.”

“More important?” he scoffed. “Are you kidding me, Santiago?” He stared at her like she was crazy. “What is more important than finding out that we’re having a baby?”

Amy shrugged. “I know I wouldn’t think anything was. But I didn’t know about you.”

Jake looked pained by her comment. “Look, I’m sorry that things have been so terrible lately. I was before I found out about this, but now I’m especially sorry.”

Amy nodded in agreement. “I am too.”

“I guess we’re gonna have to get over that,” Jake added. He sat on the arm of her couch. “So how long have you known?”

“I took a test last week.”

“Oh.”

“Look, I know I should have told you sooner. Rosa was all over me to tell you. But the doctor just confirmed it this morning, so I –”

“Wait,” Jake interrupted. “Rosa knows?”

Amy grimaced. “Umm, yeah. She walked in on me holding the pregnancy test.”

“Does she know you’re pregnant with _my_ baby or does she just know you’re pregnant?” he asked.

“Umm, I guess you could say she knows it’s yours,” Amy admitted, crossing her arms.

“You told Rosa we slept together?” Jake asked incredulously.

Amy threw her hands up in defense. “Hey! It was not my fault. She saw that I was upset and she wanted to know why.”

“You were upset that we slept together?” Jake weakly asked.

“No, I wasn’t upset about that.”

He stared at her. “Then what were you upset about?”

Amy glared at him. “You’re a detective, Jake. I’m sure you can figure it out.”

He kept staring at her. “What? About Sophia?” Amy rolled her eyes. She looked down at her shoes and nodded. “If you were upset about that, why didn’t you tell me when I pulled you aside to talk to you?”

Amy gaped at him. “Are you serious? Jake, what was I supposed to say? ‘Why are you with her? You should be with me. Especially since we just had an amazing night together.’ I mean what do you expect me to have said to you?”

“I don’t know, but you could have said something,” he argued.

Amy sighed. “Look, I meant what I said when I said that I was happy if you’re happy.”  Jake nodded. “But I can’t pretend that I wasn’t blindsided by it. Or that it hasn’t been hard to watch.”

Jake looked guilty for a flash before something akin to anger crossed his face again. “If you felt this way, why didn’t you talk to me?” Amy opened her mouth to speak but Jake interrupted her. “I mean after we slept together. I tried reaching out and you ignored me.”

Amy closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands. “I was trying to process how I felt. I’d wanted that to happen for a while and then when it did I was scared that it would be just some drunken thing. And so I was trying to process things and I wanted to know exactly how I felt before I had to deal with your feelings too. I just didn’t realize I was on such a strict timeline.”

Jake shut his eyes and scrunched up his face. “I thought you were avoiding me. That you’d continue to avoid me. I didn’t know how to handle you rejecting me again, _especially_ after that. And so when Sophia showed up at my door begging me to take her back, I figured you can’t be rejected if you just decide to move on.” He shook his head. “It was wrong. It was wrong to you. It was wrong to her. And I’ve felt terrible about it.”

They were silent for a moment. Finally Amy cleared her throat, moving away from the door to the other side of her couch. “I guess we just have to leave our stupid mistakes in the past. We kind of have bigger things to focus on now.” Jake looked over at her and then down to her stomach.

“Yeah,” he sighed. He shook his head. “I can’t believe we’re having a baby.” He faltered for a moment. “I mean, unless you are choosing to –”

“No,” Amy interrupted. “I spent a long time thinking about it and I’m going to have the baby.” She looked at him for a beat before she continued. “But I’m not holding you to anything, Jake.” He looked at her, confused. “I mean it’s not like we’ve ever had the kids conversation. If you don’t want to, if this is too much, it’s fine. I can do this on my own.”

Jake shook his head at her. “What? Amy, I’m in.” She sighed, but he continued. “Amy, my dad left when I was a kid. There’s no way in hell I’m doing that to my own child. I’m in. One hundred percent.”

“What about Sophia?” Amy asked. “What if she doesn’t want kids? You’re in a relationship. You kinda have to consider the other person.”

“Amy,” Jake started.

“Just take some time to think about it,” Amy pleaded.

“I don’t _need_ time to think about it,” Jake insisted. Amy tilted her head and stared at him. He sighed. “It doesn’t fit your plan for me to just agree immediately, does it?”

She laughed weakly. “Not exactly. But I just want you to be sure. I had my time to think about it and freak out about it. You deserve the same time.”

Jake nodded and stood up from the couch. “Okay. I guess I’ll go start thinking.” Amy stood up to follow him to the door. He turned quickly around on her. “Can you promise me one thing?” Amy nodded. “Can we please talk again? I feel like we need to since we’re going to be parents together,” he reasoned. “But also, because I’ve missed you.” He smiled at her sadly. “No matter what’s happened, you’re one of my best friends, Santiago. I’d really like that back.”

Amy smiled and nodded. “I think I can manage that.” He smiled at her. “And I’ve missed you too.”

Jake reached over and pulled her in for a hug. He held her tightly and she wrapped her arms around him. She didn’t really want to let go. But even though she was carrying his child, he wasn’t hers and she had to let go. She pulled back and patted him on the arm.

“I have this weekend off, so I’ll see you on Monday,” he informed her as he turned for the door.

“See you then,” she replied.

He opened the door and paused, turning back toward her. “Hey Ames, even though you won’t let me be officially in yet,” he started. Amy chuckled. “I’m really excited,” he finished with one of his signature Jake smiles.

Amy smiled back. “Yeah, me too.”

Jake walked out and closed the door behind him. Amy locked the door and leaned against it again. She sighed dramatically. That had gone much better than she’d expected. She hated that Rosa was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this ended up being a fairly long chapter! But yay, they both know! I would love to hear what you thought! Thank you for reading!  
> Also, I hope to continue this lovely updating streak I've been on. We'll see how it goes.


	4. Just Call Me Mama, Baby Mama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, wow, I'm so sorry it took me a month to update this! I hope this chapter is worth the wait!

Amy worked through the weekend. It was easily the longest weekend of her life. Somehow it was longer than the weekend she spent avoiding Jake _and_ the weekend she spent deciding whether or not to keep the baby. She kept looking up at Jake’s desk, wishing she knew how he was feeling. He’d seemed pretty happy about it, but she didn’t want to trust that. Jake had a whole weekend to think about it. What if he decided he didn’t want a baby? What if he told Sophia and she got mad about it and he picked Sophia over the baby? It was safe to say that Amy had spiraled about 10 different times throughout the weekend. She’d almost texted Jake multiple times as well. Ultimately, she decided he needed to think things through without her interruptions.

On Monday, Amy got to work early. Well, even early for Amy. She couldn’t sleep, so she got up and headed back into work. It was maybe 6:30 when she sat down at her desk. Slowly but surely, the rest of the squad filtered in, ready to start the work week. Of course, the one person she actually wanted to see waited until the absolute last minute to arrive. It was 8:59 when Jake walked in. Amy realized she should be grateful he was on time at all.

Jake draped his bag across the back of his chair before sitting down. “Morning, Santiago,” he said cheerily.

Amy looked up and saw him smiling at her. She couldn’t help but smiling back. “Morning, Peralta,” she replied. They both returned their gazes to their desks. It wasn’t more than a minute before Charles walked over and sat down in Jake’s perp chair. “So Jakey, how was your weekend?” Charles asked.

Amy looked up at Jake with a panicked expression but he was looking at Charles. Jake replied, “It was alright. Pretty chill. I spent most of the weekend by myself.” Charles was nodding in approval. “I broke up with Sophia,” Jake added. Amy’s head snapped in his direction. “It was a pretty low-key weekend.”

Amy for once was thankful that Charles was there to drill Jake about why his breakup happened. It would come a lot better from his best friend than his baby mama. “What do you mean you broke up with Sophia? I thought you guys were happy?” Charles interrogated.

Jake shrugged. “I mean we were okay. But shouldn’t a relationship be more than just okay?” Charles nodded regretfully. Amy tried her best to keep her eyes on her computer. “It just wasn’t working out,” Jake continued. “Sophia’s fun, but…I want more than fun.” Amy chanced a glance over at Jake. It was in that moment that he stole a glance back at her. She could feel herself blushing and turning her head back to her computer.

Charles, thankfully, seemed oblivious to it all. “Well as long as you’re happy,” he said to his friend.

Amy could see Jake nodding out of the corner of her eyes. “Yeah, I’m happy.” She could almost feel when his gaze was on her, though she was determined not to look again. Charles eventually got up and walked back to his desk.

Amy sat doing work at her desk, but her mind was reeling. She waited until she couldn’t take it anymore. “Hey Peralta,” she said, pulling Jake’s focus from his work, “do you have the file on the Westbrook case?”

Jake looked confused at the mention of a case from a couple months ago. “No, it’s in the evidence lock up.”

Amy hoped her acting was as good as she thought it was. “Are you sure? I didn’t see it in there.” Jake nodded confidently. “Well then why don’t you show me if you’re so sure,” Amy retorted.

Jake still looked confused. Amy winked at him quickly. Suddenly his face softened and he caught on. “Fine, Santiago, I’ll show you where it is.” He stood up from his desk, gesturing for her to follow.

They walked to the evidence lock up and checked to make sure no one was in there. Amy turned to face Jake, ready to finally talk to him. “So –” she started before he interrupted.

“I’m in,” he said, a serious look on his face. “I thought about it like you wanted me to and I’m in.” Amy couldn’t fight the smile growing on her face.

She nodded. “Okay, that’s great!” she exclaimed happily. Jake smiled too. “I have to know though,” she continued, “you didn’t break up with Sophia because of this, did you?” Jake started to shake his head. “Because you didn’t have to. I was never going to ask you to choose between the baby and Sophia. I know how much she meant to you.”

Jake stared at Amy, waiting for the end of her spiel. “Amy, I didn’t break up with her because of the baby. I broke up with her because I didn’t want to be with her. She’s a nice person but I am more interested in this,” he explained, gesturing to her.

Amy sighed. “Jake, you don’t have to choose between –”

Jake locked eyes with her. “I didn’t mean just the baby.” There was a heavy pause between them. “Amy I wouldn’t have been with her if I knew what you told me Friday night.”

Amy looked down at her feet. She did what came naturally to her, she deflected. “So did you tell Sophia about the baby?”

Jake rolled his eyes with a small grin, seeing Amy’s comment for what it was. “No, I didn’t. It wasn’t why I broke up with her, so I didn’t feel the need to bring it up.” Amy nodded, soaking in the information. Jake stepped slightly closer to her. “I have to say, Ames, I really am excited about this. It may not be the most traditional circumstances, but I am really happy.”

Amy smiled at him broadly. “I’m glad. I was really scared that you wouldn’t be.”

Jake looked at her in disbelief. “Seriously?” Amy just nodded. “You’re crazy. I’m in, Amy. For everything. Anything you need or want or whatever plans you have, I’m in.” Amy couldn’t shake the smile from her face. It was going so much better than she’d expected. Jake got a nervous expression on his face. “Can I touch your stomach?”

Amy laughed. “I guess. I mean you know I’m not even close to showing yet.”

“I don’t care,” Jake replied, stepping closer to Amy and hesitantly reaching out his hand. He laid it on her flat stomach. He bent down so his head was at her stomach’s height. “Hey there, Baby, it’s your Daddy. I just want you to know that I’m so excited you’re in there. And I can’t wait to meet you even though it’s gonna be a long time from now. You just stay in there and grow, grow, grow, okay?” Amy was grinning from ear to ear, chuckling at Jake’s comments to the baby. He stood back up but left his hand on Amy’s stomach, staring at it in awe.

The door opened and Rosa walked in. Jake didn’t pull his hand away fast enough for her to not notice. She stared at them for an uncomfortably long amount of time. “So you told him?”

“Yes, I did.”

Rosa kept her typical blank expression. “Bout time.” Amy rolled her eyes. Rosa turned her look to Jake. “And you’re gonna be the dad?”

“That is the plan,” Jake chuckled.

Rosa nodded in approval. Or at least Amy thought it was approval. She stepped closer to them. “Jake, we’ve been friends since the Academy, but I swear to God if you ditch Amy or that baby or do anything to hurt them, I will –”

“Oh my God,” Jake said, cowering next to Amy.

“Rosa,” Amy scolded at the same time Jake spoke, both of them cutting her off.

“What? I’m not allowed to protect my friends?” Rosa asked. “Just remember Jake, I have a whole arsenal you don’t even know about.”

Jake stared at her in confusion. “But you just told me about it so now I know…” Rosa stepped closer to him with a menacing look. Jake cowered even more. “Okay, yeah, I get your point. I hear you out. Please don’t hurt me.”

Rosa nodded at Amy and went about her business in the lock up. Amy looked from Rosa to Jake. “So we can just talk more later, I guess.” Jake nodded in agreement. “Maybe talk tonight at my apartment?”

Jake smiled. “Sounds great.” He turned to leave the evidence lock up.

“Oh and Jake?” Amy called. He turned around to look at her. “You can’t tell anyone yet. I’m not far enough along for that.”

“I won’t,” he assured her. She affixed him with a knowing stare. “I won’t tell Charles. Amy, I can keep a secret.”

“You better not tell him,” Amy warned. “The entire precinct will know in like two minutes flat.”

Jake smirked. “Honestly, two minutes is probably giving him credit he doesn’t deserve.” Amy chuckled at Jake’s honesty. “I promise I won’t tell him.”

“Thank you.”

Jake left the lock up. Amy stood there for a moment, unaware that Rosa had come to stand by her. “I’m glad you finally told him.”

Amy nearly jumped out of her skin. “Dear God, Rosa! Don’t scare the pregnant lady!” Amy scolded.

“Whatever. He seems happy. Aren’t you glad you told him?” Rosa asked with a smug smirk.

Amy glared at her. “Yes, I am glad I told him,” Amy replied in a monotone voice.

Rosa just smirked as she walked from the lock up too.

^^

Amy paced through her apartment as she waited for Jake to arrive. All she’d done throughout the rest of the day was think about their situation. Soon enough there was a knock at the door. Amy ran to open it. Jake greeted her with a big smile and a bag of Chinese takeout.

“Now don’t worry, this doesn’t have any of the things you aren’t supposed to eat,” Jake said as he handed the bag to Amy and stepped inside her apartment. “Fun fact about my weekend, I spent it reading pregnancy books.”

Amy gaped at him. “You did what?”

“Well I figure you’ve known for, like, over a week now right? So you probably know everything there is to know about pregnancy and what to expect. I feel it’s only fair that I try to catch up to you,” Jake reasoned.

Amy stared at him, completely dumbfounded. “Seriously?” Jake nodded. She shook her head in disbelief. “Wow. Thank you, Jake. That’s really thoughtful of you.”

He just smiled and shrugged. “Ames, I meant what I said when I told you that I would be here for it all. I really care about you and I’ve only known about our baby since Friday but I really care about the baby too.” Jake stepped closer to her and put his hands on her waist. “Amy, if I’m going to be in, I’m gonna be all in. You and me.”

Amy’s smile quickly dissolved at his mention of them. Amy didn’t know how to bring up the decision she’d made. Slowly, she stepped out of his arms, putting a mild distance between them. “I actually would like to talk to you about that,” she said slowly. Jake looked confused. “About…us.” Jake had a concerned look in his eyes. Amy walked over to the couch and sat down. She gestured for Jake to join her.

As soon as he sat down, she started trying to talk. “I’ve been thinking a lot about us.” Jake nodded understandingly, though Amy couldn’t miss the glint of hope that crossed his face. “I know that we confessed a lot of things recently, but it doesn’t change how I feel right now.” She straightened up and looked Jake in the eye. “I don’t think we should be together.”

Jake looked shell shocked. “You don’t?” he asked hesitantly.

“No,” she replied. “It’s just that this is a lot. Getting together would be a lot on its own, but doing that _while_ we’re expecting a baby is too much. I don’t want us to lose focus on the baby and all that we have to do because we’re so invested in starting a relationship. We’re really good as friends and as partners. And with that, I think it’ll make us really good as a parenting team. I just don’t want…to risk it. What if a relationship doesn’t work out? That’s not fair to the baby,” Amy reasoned. She looked at Jake nervously, hoping he wouldn’t fight her on this.

He looked sad, but he seemed to be accepting it. After a long silence, Jake cleared his throat. “If that’s what you want, then that’s what we’ll do.”

“Really?”

Jake reached out and took Amy’s hands in his. “Amy I’m not gonna run because you don’t want to be with me. You’re right. It would be a lot of change all at once. And we owe it to the baby to know what’s going on before he or she gets here.”

Amy wore a nervous smile. “So you’re still in?”

Jake looked at her like she was crazy. “Of course I’m still in. I’m here for anything you need. I don’t need to be your boyfriend to be here for you.”

Amy shook her head in disbelief. “Has anyone ever told you that you are kind of amazing?” she asked in awe.

Jake smirked. “Not really, but feel free to continue.” Amy just leaned in and hugged him tightly to her. She felt Jake wrap his arms around her and hold her to him. They sat that way longer than she’d expected.

When Amy pulled back, she looked at Jake with a smile. “So food?” Jake laughed and dug into the bag sitting in front of them. They sat there eating and chatting about work and the baby for a while. Amy turned to Jake at one point and looked at him intensely. “Can I say something that might sound weird?”

“Always,” Jake assured her.

“Of all the baby daddies I could theoretically have, I’m glad it’s you.”

Jake wore a soft expression, clearly touched by what she said. “Thanks. I feel the same way. There’s no one else I’d want to be in this situation with but you.”

Amy leaned her shoulder against Jake’s and laid her head on his shoulder. She felt him lean his head on top of hers. For all the anxiety she’d had about telling Jake and about what she’d told him that night, she was surprised at how well things seemed to be going.

^^

“You’re ridiculous, Jake,” Amy said as she rolled her eyes. They continued walking through the alley, looking for their suspect. Amy’s CI must have been wrong this time. He was nowhere around. He hadn’t been in the buildings on either side.

“I’m just saying that it’s a good idea,” Jake argued with a grin. He turned around and looked back the other way down the alley. “I hate to break it to you,” he said, “but I think your CI lied to you.”

“Yeah,” Amy replied regretfully. “He doesn’t look like he’s here.” Jake turned and looked at her with a disappointed look on his face. “We can just head back to the precinct.”

“Works for me,” Jake replied, motioning the way back to the car. Amy was almost all the way back to the car, Jake just behind her. “What is that?” Jake asked. Amy turned to look at him, noting that he was looking curiously at the car. She turned back toward the car just in time for Jake to yell. “Amy, look out!”

 He was right behind her, trying to move her out of the way when she felt the bullet pierce her stomach. She saw the perp run away from his spot behind their car. She looked down at her stomach and held her hand there, trying to stop the blood. She fell to her knees, still trying to stop the bleeding. “Jake, what just happened?” she asked in a panicked voice. Jake gave no response. “Jake?” Amy asked again. She twisted around painfully to look back at Jake. He was laying on the ground in a pool of his own blood. “Jake!” she screamed. She crawled over to him, applying pressure on his wound. She kept one hand on her own wound and one hand on his. “Jake, stay with me. You can’t die!”

She released the hand on her wound and reached for her radio. “Attention, we have two officers down. We need an ambulance stat!”

Suddenly Amy was at the hospital. She was laying in a bed and she could hear the machines beeping away beside her. A doctor walked in. “Miss Santiago, I’m afraid I have some bad news,” he said regretfully. “The bullet hit your abdomen. I’m afraid you lost the baby.”

Amy felt her heart drop. “What?” The doctor repeated himself but it was all a blur. Amy couldn’t believe she’d lost their baby. Her vision became blurry as tears filled her eyes. She didn’t know when the doctor left, too consumed in her own grief. Rosa walked in and stood by Amy’s bed. She wore a grim expression.

“Santiago, I need to tell you something,” she said tensely.

Amy looked at her through her tears. “I lost the baby, Rosa.”

Rosa looked concerned. She looked over in the direction of the door. Terry was standing there, his arm wrapped around an inconsolable Charles. She could barely hear her machines of the sounds of his wails. Terry nodded once at Rosa, instructing her to do something. Amy looked back at Rosa in her confusion. Rosa pulled a chair up to Amy’s bed and sat down. She reached over and grabbed Amy’s hand. She was already more affectionate than Amy’d ever seen her. In a small voice, Rosa began speaking. “Amy…” she paused, shaking her head to herself. She looked back up at Amy and swallowed harshly. “Jake didn’t make it.”

Amy looked over at Terry and Charles. Suddenly Charles’s wails all made sense. He didn’t even know about the baby to cry over it. Amy was in shock. She looked back at Rosa. “He died?” she asked through fresh tears. Rosa nodded sadly. Amy lost control. She started to pull her IVs out of her arm but Rosa stopped her. Amy was sobbing uncontrollably. “Rosa let me go!” Amy demanded as she felt Rosa holding her in place. Rosa didn’t let go. “I have to see him,” Amy commanded. “Please!” They wouldn’t let her move. She curled into a ball, sobbing for her unborn child and the man she loved. “Jake!” she yelled loudly through her tears. This couldn’t be happening.

 

Amy sat up suddenly in her own bed in the middle of the night. She was doused in sweat. Had it all been a dream? She reached down and felt her stomach. It was still flat because she was only at 8 weeks. She could feel tears brimming in her eyes. It had to be a dream. It all felt so real though. Amy was scared that it could be real. She reached for her phone and clicked on Jake’s number. It rang three times before there was an answer.

“Hello?” Jake answered sleepily. A sob was caught in Amy’s throat. She barely choked out a reply. “Amy?” he asked, concern coloring his voice. “Are you okay?”

Amy tried to fight through her tears to tell him she was fine. “Uh huh,” she answered in a whisper.

“Stay right there,” he demanded. “I’m coming over.”

“You don’t have to,” Amy said in a moderately louder voice.

“I’ve already got shoes on. I’ll be there soon,” Jake insisted. He hung up quickly.

Amy got up out of her bed and walked toward the kitchen. She filled herself a glass of water and drank it. She couldn’t take her mind off the dream she’d had. She kept running her hand along her stomach, hoping that the baby was fine. She had to believe she’d feel differently if the baby wasn’t fine. Though she tried, she couldn’t stop the flow of tears running down her face. She’d never experienced a dream that real before. She collapsed onto her couch and curled in a ball. Amy stayed in that position until she heard a knock at her door. It seemed almost impossibly fast for Jake to be there already. She opened the door and he rushed inside, concern written on his face.

He reached out and grabbed the sides of her face. “Are you okay? Is it the baby?” he asked, looking down and moving one hand to her belly. “Do you need me to take you to the hospital? Or call your mom? Or do anything? What do you need me to do?”

Amy couldn’t help but start crying again. She was overwhelmed by Jake’s support, though she felt bad that he came over because of a bad dream. She threw herself at him and wrapped her arms around his torso tightly. He instantly wrapped his arms around her, rubbing his hand along her back. “Are you okay, Ames?”

She nodded into his neck, still clutching him to her. He continued to try and soothe her. They stood there by her front door, Amy still weeping and Jake holding her to him. Slowly, Amy released her grasp on Jake. He looked at her expectantly. “I’m sorry I called you in the middle of the night,” she apologized.

Jake shook his head at her like she was insane. “Don’t be sorry. I don’t care. As long as you’re okay,” he assured her. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked hesitantly.

“You’re gonna be mad at me.”

Jake stared at her blankly. “Not possible. Tell me about it.”

She looked down at their feet. “I had a bad dream. And it felt real and when I woke up I was scared that it was actually real so I called you.”

To his credit, Jake never laughed or criticized her. His face still held the same amount of concern that he’d worn as he entered her apartment. “Do you want to talk about the dream?” Amy shook her head vehemently. “Okay.” He brought her in for another hug and he started rubbing his hand against her back again. “You’re okay, Ames. I promise.”

Amy sniffled. “It wasn’t about me.”

Jake separated some and looked down at her. “Was it about the baby?”

“Partially.”

A touched expression crossed his face. “Was it about me too?” Amy nodded, her eyes filling with tears again. Jake pulled her back in. “It’s okay, Ames. I’m fine. The baby’s fine. We’re all fine.” She wrapped her arms tighter around him, holding him like she’d never let go. Amy tried to fight off a yawn but was unsuccessful. Jake released her and looked down at her. “You should probably try to sleep again.”

Amy groaned but Jake fixed her with a knowing look. He was right, no matter how much she hated it. The problem was that she didn’t want him to leave. She bit down on her bottom lip, trying to figure out how to ask him to stay. “I know this is a lot to ask, but…” Amy paused. Jake nodded her on. “Would you mind staying?”

Jake smiled at her. “Of course I don’t mind. I just need a blanket for the couch.”

Amy shook her head. “No you don’t have to sleep on the couch. It’s not a good sleeping couch.”

“I’m not going to kick you out of your bed after the night you’ve had,” Jake maintained.

Amy sighed. “We’ve shared a bed before. It’ll be fine.” Jake looked hesitant. “I’m sorry if that’s unfair of me. I just really don’t want to be alone.”

Jake tilted his head and looked at her with a soft smile gracing his face. “It’s not unfair of you, Amy. Pregnancy can lead to some really intense dreams according to the books.” Amy chuckled at his mention of his reading materials. “I’ll stay.”

Amy sighed in relief. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Jake wrapped his arm around his shoulder and directed her back toward her bedroom. “It’s not a problem, Santiago.”

Amy crawled back into her bed, this time joined by Jake. She was determined to stay on her side of the bed, but as soon as Jake was comfortable, he reached for her and tucked her into his side. Amy wrapped one arm around Jake’s torso and curled into him. She started falling asleep immediately, already sure she was going to sleep better than she had her whole pregnancy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the sweet comments and the kudos! Your response to this fic has blown me away. Honestly. I'd love to know what you thought of this chapter too!


	5. It's Casual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No nightmares in this chapter! My apologies for the part that apparently traumatized many of you! Thanks for being good sports! :)

Amy was scrambling eggs when she heard the shuffling of feet that could only mean Jake had woken up as well. “Morning,” she called cheerily.

Jake rubbed his eyes as he yawned, looking at her skeptically. “Morning.” He wandered into the kitchen. “What are you doing?”

“Making breakfast because I’m the best baby mama in the world,” she replied with a laugh. She heard Jake chuckle behind her. “Really I’m just trying to make up for the fact that I called you in the middle of the night over a bad dream.”

Jake sidled up next to her and looked at her with a knowing expression. “Ames, I told you it was fine. Really.” He laid his hand on her shoulder. “I want to be there when stuff happens, even if it’s the middle of the night and you are just scared.”

Amy stared at him disbelievingly for a beat before she wrapped him tightly in a hug. “Thank you, Jake. I can’t even begin to tell you how much that means.” They stood there hugging for a moment before they smelled the eggs burning at the same time.

“Flip them!” Jake yelled, jumping away from the stove.

Amy turned over a chunk of eggs but they were burnt on the bottom. She looked at Jake regretfully. “Well so much for making breakfast. I guess I’m _not_ the best baby mama in the world.”

Jake laughed. “Yes, because the ability to cook one singular meal determines that,” he said sarcastically. “You know me, I’ll be good with a bowl of cereal at work.” He looked at the pan skeptically. “Plus, no offense, were those even going to be _that_ edible?”

Amy gasped. “I am offended!” He stared at her blankly. “Okay, fine, they probably would have been gross. But it’s the thought that counts right?”

Jake smiled and nodded. “Exactly.” He sat down at her kitchen table and beckoned her over. When Amy sat down with him, he got a serious look in his eye. “So how are you feeling?”

Amy shrugged. “I feel fine. I actually don’t feel like puking yet.” She looked at Jake with a small smile. “You know you don’t have to ask me how I’m feeling every day for nine months?”

Jake grinned. “I’m glad you’re feeling okay, but that’s not actually what I meant. I meant more about what happened last night.” Amy nodded and looked down at her hands. Jake reached out and grabbed them. “Do you maybe want to talk about it?”

With a sigh, Amy caved. “We were out in the field and I got shot in the abdomen and the same bullet passed through my body and shot you. And I lost the baby and you died too.” She waved her hands dramatically. “That was the dream.”

Jake’s eyes grew wide. “Dang, that does sound like an intense dream. I’m sorry, Ames.” She shrugged. “You know what that means though?”

Amy was confused. “You mean like how they say if you have a dream someone died it means someone’s going to have a baby? Because I have news for you,” she smirked, pointing at her stomach.

Jake rolled his eyes and laughed. “Not actually what I meant.” A serious look crossed his face again. “It means we should probably tell Holt you’re pregnant.”

Amy gasped, looking at Jake in horror. “Umm…no.”

“Amy,” Jake began to chide.

“Jake, if Holt knows I’m pregnant, he’s going to chain me to a desk.”

Jake looked at her knowingly. “Kinda the point. _Especially_ if you’re having dreams about the baby dying in the field.” Amy groaned. “Is this because you don’t want Holt to know that you’re pregnant? It’s not like he’s your dad. He’s not going to be mad you’re having a baby outside of marriage,” Jake reasoned.

Amy’s eyes went wide in panic. “Oh my God. We’ll have to tell our parents.”

“God, I should _not_ have phrased it like that. My bad,” he reached forward and laid his hands on Amy’s shoulders trying to shake her out of her panic. “Ames, it’s gonna be fine. Your parents are going to be excited to have another grandchild. And Holt is going to be happy for you, even if he relegates you to a desk.”

Amy looked at Jake with a sour expression. “I guess I should do that, shouldn’t I?”

“Perk of accidentally getting pregnant with your partner’s baby? I can be there too,” Jake reminded her with a comforting smile.

“Okay,” Amy conceded. Jake nodded approvingly. “Now go home. You can’t go to work in sweats.”

“Geez, yes _Mom_ ,” Jake replied, standing up. He turned back to her at the same time she processed what he said.

“Aww. Mom!” They said in unison.

Amy smiled happily, rubbing a hand along her tummy. She looked up at Jake. “But seriously, go change.”

^^

Jake arrived at work about five minutes after Amy did. She was relieved that he had to change so they didn’t arrive together. They never arrived at the same time, so that would probably be suspicious. They sat through the morning briefing, though Amy was getting anxious at the prospect of talking to Holt.

Captain Holt dismissed everyone and Jake jumped up to stop him before he left the briefing room. “Sir would you have a minute for Detective Santiago and I to speak with you privately?”

“Ooh, what is this about?” Boyle asked, walking up to Jake and Holt.

“Work,” Jake replied blankly.

“Yeah, what else would it be about?” Amy asked, stepping up toward the group.

Charles looked between them. “I guess nothing.”

Holt looked at Charles judgmentally before looking back at Jake. “I have a moment now.”

Jake looked over at Amy. “That would be great, Sir,” she replied.

Holt walked to his office and Jake and Amy followed a few paces behind. “It’s gonna be fine,” Jake reassured. Amy glared at him. “You’ve already known for three weeks at this point, Ames. I’ve known for two. It’s time for Holt to know.”

Amy rolled her eyes. “Fine.”

They walked in and closed the door behind them, sitting down when Holt motioned for them to. “So what is the nature of this meeting?” he asked.

Jake looked over at Amy and she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. “Sir, I have some news to share with you. I thought, given the job, it was important that I informed you.” Holt nodded at her to continue. “I’m pregnant,” she said, almost calmly. “I’m not far enough along to really share with everyone, but I thought it was important to let you know.”

Holt sat back in his chair and stared at Amy. She thought she could almost see the beginnings of a smile. “You’re having a child?” he asked, no markers in his voice. Amy nodded. “Well congratulations, Santiago. You’ll make a fit mother.”

Amy smiled broadly. She could hear Jake stifling a laugh next to her. “Thank you, Sir. I certainly hope so.”

“May I ask, why is Peralta here?” Holt asked, pointing to Jake. “Did you feel you needed support? Were you afraid to tell me?”

Amy’s mind went blank. She shook her head vehemently. “No…uh, I had Jake come in because…” she trailed off.

“Because I am the father,” Jake finished, shaking his head disapprovingly at Amy.

“Oh,” Holt responded. It was the closest to shocked Amy had ever seen him look. “I did not know that you two were…” he stopped speaking.

“We’re not,” Jake replied, not letting the Captain’s silence linger. “It happened once. Apparently that’s all it takes.”

“Jake, stop talking,” Amy pleaded.

“Got it,” he replied.

“Listen, Sir,” Amy addressed Holt, “I just figured it was appropriate to tell you.”

“Did _you_ think it was appropriate, Amy, or was it someone else?” Jake asked, a grin on his face.

Amy glared at him. “Not the time,” she said, cutting him off.

“I appreciate you telling me,” Holt interjected. “And your secret will be safe with me. I will, of course, be removing you from active duty for the time being, Santiago.” Amy nodded, her face falling. “I’ll do my best to be discrete with that process until you are ready to share your news with the rest of the squad.”

“It’ll be about four more weeks,” Amy informed him.

Holt nodded. “Well, congratulations to you both. And Santiago, if you have any concerns about the job, please don’t hesitate to bring them to me.”

Amy smiled. “Thank you, Sir.”

Jake and Amy stood up and walked from the captain’s office. “See? That wasn’t so bad,” Jake whispered to Amy as they moved toward their desks.

“Not right now,” Amy said, shaking her head.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Amy watched as Jake ran out for a case of theirs. He’d suggested, rather loudly, before he left that she do research on her computer. They’d agreed for the sake of the bullpen and he’d left. Amy did actually do some minor research for the case, but since Jake was interviewing the neighbors in a burglary case, there wasn’t much she could do at her desk.

Her mind couldn’t help but wander as she sat there doing pointless work. She thought a lot about Jake. When she’d met Jake, she never would have guessed he’d have so effortlessly taken up the role as expectant father. She appreciated how fully he’d thrown himself into their situation. He’d been ready from the night she told him. When she’d told him she didn’t want to start dating, she’d expected him to back off. But he didn’t. Without a second care, he’d been there for her at her neediest. She didn’t really know how he did that. She didn’t get how he was just ready to be there for her with no consideration for his feelings or his other responsibilities. She couldn’t help but wonder what things would be like between them if she’d actually responded to Jake’s texts that weekend.

Amy was still caught up in thinking about Jake when he returned to the precinct. She quickly refocused on the case when Jake started filling her in. The rest of the day passed pretty quickly from then on.

Everyone was packing up to leave when Jake walked into the break room. Amy looked over at him just in time to catch his glance. He gestured for her to follow. She played around with a few more things at her desk before she walked in there. “What’s up?” she asked.

“So where should I go?” he responded.  Amy looked at him with a confused expression. “Tonight,” he clarified.

“Are you asking if you should come with me?” He nodded. “I’m not gonna ask you to spend the night with me,” she answered. Before she could register the look on Jake’s face, she continued. “That’s not fair to you.”

 “Yeah but what if the same thing that happened last night happens again?” he reasoned.

Amy thought it over. She’d enjoyed snuggling with Jake as she fell asleep. She’d enjoyed it much more than she’d let herself dwell on. If he was volunteering to stay with her, would it really be that unfair of her to ask? She liked the idea of not being in the pregnancy by herself. And who better than to share it with than her best friend/baby daddy? Amy shrugged. “If you want to, I’m not gonna say no. I mean, I know my bed is worlds comfier than yours,” she ended on a joke.   
Jake rolled his eyes and smirked. “If you don’t want me there, just say it.”

“I don’t _not_ want you there,” Amy answered. She sighed and shook her head, “We’re really good at this aren’t we?”

Jake laughed. “Look, I’m not trying to force anything to happen, I promise. I know you said you don’t want that. I just want to be there for you as best I can. For you and…the baby,” he explained, dropping his voice as he mentioned the baby.

Amy smiled broadly. “Then come over. I appreciate having you there to rely on.”

Jake matched Amy’s smile. “Great. Then I’ll see you there.” He turned to leave before turning back to her. “Should I maybe pick up dinner since breakfast didn’t go so well?”

Amy glared at him for a beat. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Great! See you soon,” he called, leaving the break room.

Amy stared at him as he picked up his bag and left the bullpen. She knew this could potentially complicate things, but she couldn’t deny that she needed it.

So Jake came over and spent the night for the second night in a row. Somehow, it became their normal. They’d sneak into work separately and then go to the same apartment in the evening. They still weren’t a couple, but they spent every night in the same bed. Amy often wondered what their endgame would be, but she was too content with the way things were to bring it up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I wanted to get one more chapter in before I went on vacation! If anyone was wondering, I have A LOT more planned for this fic. It may end up being pretty long. I hope you'll stay along for the journey! :) 
> 
> Thanks for all the wonderful comments! They make me so happy to read! Not lying, sometimes when I feel down, I come back and read them. They really mean a lot.


	6. Sharing the News

Jake couldn’t believe what his life had become. In the course of a couple weeks, he’d basically started living with Amy while she was carrying their child. It was all pretty unbelievable. Sometimes it was bit overwhelming. More often lately, he’d found himself lying awake at night starting to stress. He’d look over at Amy fast asleep and he’d start thinking about everything. He really cared for Amy and he wanted to be there for everything in her pregnancy, same as he’d be if they were married. He already loved his child and he didn’t even know if it was a boy or a girl. But he loved it so much. That was part of what stressed him out, though. What if loving them wasn’t enough? He had no father figure. Could he be a good father without ever having a good father of his own?

It had been over a week of these thoughts when Jake had to get it off his chest. He looked around the bullpen and noticed that everyone seemed to be working pretty diligently. It seemed like no one would even notice if Jake slipped away from his desk to go chat up Terry who was getting coffee in the break room. Jake walked calmly in, closing the door behind him. “Heyyy, Terry,” Jake almost cooed. Terry looked over at him with a smile. “How’s it going?” Jake tried to ask nonchalantly.

Terry shrugged. “It’s fine. How about you?”

“I’m good,” Jake replied quickly. “I have a question for you though,” he said hesitantly. Terry nodded for him to continue. “You’re about to become a dad again. And that’s so great. But what advice would you give to someone who was becoming a dad for the first time?” When Terry looked at him suspiciously, Jake tried to change how he phrased things. “Like what if Cagney and Lacey asked you how to be a good dad, what would you tell them? Your children. What advice would you give your children, uh I mean daughters, if they wanted to know how to be good dads?” He knew he probably wasn’t hiding anything.

Terry looked at Jake with an odd expression. “What are you trying to say Jake? Is this about preparing to be the godfather?”

“Uh, sure, let’s say that. Yes, I’m worried about what to do in the unlikely event that I inherit your child,” Jake replied awkwardly.

“Inherit?” Terry questioned.

“You know what I mean!” Jake whined. “What advice would you give me if you could about raising your kid?” Jake stepped closer. “I mean you’re a great dad and I am just curious how you’d teach someone else to be as good a dad as you are.”

“Why do you need to know how to be a good dad, Jake?” Terry finally asked.

“No reason,” Jake lied. He stole a glance out to the bullpen. No one seemed to be noticing the Jake’s discomfort. Terry fixed Jake with a demanding stare. “Fine,” Jake caved with a sigh. “You can’t tell anyone this, Sarge. I’m trusting you.” Terry nodded. “I mean it, not _anyone_ ,” Jake stressed. Terry nodded again, urging Jake to continue. “I’m…going to be a dad,” Jake muttered.

“You are?” Terry cried. Jake gaped at him to be quieter. “Sorry,” Terry apologized. “This is so exciting though!”

“Yeah, it is,” Jake agreed with a small smile.

 “Wait,” Terry said, holding up a hand, “Who’s the mother? Is it Sophia?”

Jake shook his head. “No, actually it’s not.”

Terry stared at him, waiting for more information. “Well who is it? Is it someone I know?”   
“No,” Jake lied.

“Come on, I told you when I was having another baby,” Terry urged.

“No you didn’t,” Jake reminded him. “I was an amazing detective and I figured it out on my own. You just confirmed it.”

Terry glared at him. “So you’re saying I should use my detective skills to see who your baby mama is…” Jake looked nervously out the window of the break room. Everyone still seemed to be working. “Oh my God,” Terry muttered. “Is it Amy?”

Jake whipped around to look back at Terry. “What?”

“It’s Amy, isn’t it?”

“What would make you say that?” Jake asked nervously.

“You just looked out the window at her,” Terry explained.

“I was looking out at the bullpen,” Jake countered. “I can’t help that Amy’s out there.”

Terry looked at Jake thoughtfully. “Come to think of it, Amy hasn’t been doing much fieldwork in the last couple of weeks.” Jake stared pleadingly at Terry. “It’s Amy!”

“Could you please not yell?” Jake cried. “If Amy hears her name, she’s gonna come in and then she’s going to know that I’m telling you about our baby.” Terry’s face broke out in a large grin. “Yeah, okay, I’m having a baby with Amy.”

Terry wrapped Jake in a big hug. “Wow! That’s so great.” He paused. “Wait, I didn’t even realize you two were together.”

“We aren’t.”

“Oh,” Terry said failingly. “So what is this then? Is this one of those ‘our biological clocks are ticking’ type things?”

“No,” Jake replied. “It was one night where we drank a bit and got carried away.”

“That’s it?” Terry asked disbelievingly. “Because you’ve had feelings for Amy for a long time.”

Jake nodded solemnly. “Yeah, I know.”

“So you guys aren’t together?”

“Nope,” Jake confirmed. “Even though I basically live at her apartment. We aren’t together.”

“Why?”

Jake shrugged. “That’s what Amy wanted.”

“Really?” Terry wondered aloud. “I thought Amy broke up with Teddy because she liked you.”

“Look, this is what Amy said she wanted,” Jake said definitively. “I’m not pushing anything because of our situation.”

“But you do want to be with her?” Terry asked hesitantly.

Jake shrugged. He looked out and saw Amy working hard at her desk. “I mean, yeah, of course I do. I did before she was carrying my child.”

Terry smiled at him sadly. “Sorry, Jake.”

“Nothing to be sorry about,” Jake replied with a smile. “We are good friends expecting a baby. It’s fine.”

“I can’t believe you’re gonna have a baby,” Terry mused.

“Yeah, me either,” Jake agreed. “Which is kind of why I wanted to talk to you. I’m freaking out, Terry.”

“What in particular are you freaking out about?”

“I don’t know,” Jake thought out loud. “My dad was terrible. What if _I’m_ a terrible dad?”

Jake looked up to see Terry staring at him sympathetically. “You aren’t going to be a terrible dad, Jake.”

“Why?”

“Why are you living with Amy?” Terry asked.

Jake didn’t know how it related, but he went with it. “She was having nightmares so I started staying over and then it just became a thing. I didn’t want to miss anything or not be there for her. And I think it helped put her at ease so it worked out for both of us. I don’t know. It just happened and then it was nice so we kept it going,” Jake explained.

Terry smiled. “See? You’re already a good dad. You don’t want to miss anything. You are there for Amy for _everything_ even when she’s not even your girlfriend. Do you think your dad would be there for some random girl he happened to get pregnant?”

Jake shrugged. “Probably not. But Amy’s not just some random girl.”

“I know that. But for the sake of the conversation,” Terry reasoned. “You’re gonna be a great dad, Jake.”

“You’re gonna be a what now?”

Jake and Terry turned quickly toward the door. Jake had completely forgotten to look out at the bullpen in a while. They saw Amy standing in the doorway looking at them expectantly. Jake hadn’t even heard the door open.

“Uh…” Terry faltered. “Jake told me he’s getting a dog. And he was worried about being a good dog dad.”

Amy eyed them skeptically. She focused in on Jake. “Jake, is that really what you were saying?”

Jake was ready to nod and just lie to Amy but he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t lie to her. “I’m sorry, Ames. I couldn’t take it,” he admitted. Amy sighed. “You have Rosa to talk to. I just needed some advice from Terry.”

“Jake, you had _two_ weeks left. You couldn’t have waited?”

“Honestly, no,” Jake replied. “I was getting really stressed and it was messing with me.”

“He tried really hard not to tell me. I guessed that it was your baby,” Terry informed Amy. “He wouldn’t even tell me that.” Amy nodded slowly, but Jake hoped understandingly.

Terry edged closer to Amy. “Congratulations…Mommy,” he said quietly.

Amy smiled reluctantly. “Thanks, Terry. But you can’t tell anyone for two weeks.”

Terry crossed his fingers over his heart. “I promise. I won’t even email anyone about it,” he said with a smirk in Jake’s direction. Jake rolled his eyes.

Amy actually laughed. “Thank you.”

Terry put a hand on Jake’s shoulder and then on Amy’s. “I’m so happy for you guys. This is such a magical journey you’re embarking on. If you need _anything_ or any advice, I’m here.”

They both nodded appreciatively. “Thanks, Terry,” Jake replied. Terry nodded before grabbing his cup of coffee and walking back to his desk.

Amy looked at Jake with a gentle expression. “So do you want to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?”

“Whatever it is that is stressing you out so much that you had to talk to Terry?” Amy replied.

Jake shook his head. “Not here.”

Amy looked at him for a beat before she nodded. “Okay,” she agreed. “Later?”

Jake smiled softly. “Okay.”

They hadn’t been in the apartment more than five minutes when Amy brought it up again. Jake had been hoping she’d just forget about it, but apparently she didn’t. Jake sighed as he rooted through her fridge for something to make for dinner.  He could feel Amy’s eyes on him as he went about preparing dinner. Jake pulled out a pot, filling it with water and setting it on the stove to boil. He grabbed a couple chicken breasts out of the freezer before he started talking. Without looking at Amy, he started speaking.

“I was just getting a bit nervous about becoming a parent,” Jake said softly. He could still feel Amy’s eyes on him. “I have spent a lot of the last few nights thinking about it and I just needed to talk to Terry. I’m sorry that I blew our secret.”

Amy walked over and stood next to him as he worked at the counter. “Jake, I’m not mad at you. I just wanted to know what was bothering you.”

He looked over at her and could see the concern on her face. “My dad’s terrible, Amy. I just…what if I turn out like him? What if I’m just as crappy a dad?” Jake was staring at the food he was attempting to prepare. He purposefully didn’t want to see the sympathetic look that would inevitably be on Amy’s face.

“You’re crazy,” she replied softly.

It wasn’t the reaction Jake was expecting. He looked up at Amy with a shocked expression. “What?”

“You’re crazy if you think that you’re going to be like your dad,” Amy explained. She stepped closer to Jake, turning him to face her. “Jake, you’re nothing like your dad. You may have half the same DNA, but that doesn’t make you the same person. You wouldn’t abandon anyone, let alone your own child. You wouldn’t even ditch me and I’m just the incubator.”

“Incubator?” Jake asked incredulously. “Amy, you’re obviously more than that.”

Amy laughed. “I know. But still. Jake do you realize how much more relieved I’ve been in the couple of weeks since you started staying here? It’s made me so much calmer. And that has to help the baby. You’re already a good dad. You talk to the baby all the time. And you make sure I’m eating enough and the right things so I don’t hurt the baby.” Amy grabbed Jake’s shoulders. “You’re a wonderful person and I know for a fact that you’re going to make a wonderful dad as well.”

Jake smiled, fighting the tears springing in his eyes. “Thanks, Ames.”

“Can I ask one favor though?” He nodded. “Can you tell me when you’re feeling like this?”

“Yeah,” Jake agreed. “I’m sorry I didn’t. I just didn’t want you to think that I was having doubts or anything. Because I’m not. I was just nervous. I didn’t want to worry you since you already have so much on your plate.”

Amy wrapped one arm around Jake’s torso. “I still want to know. No matter how much I have on my plate.”

Jake nodded wrapping his arm around her waist. “Deal.”

^^

It was a week before Amy was going to enter her second trimester when Amy decided to broach a difficult subject with Jake. She sat down gently next to him on the couch and put out a plate of cookies on the table. He looked at her with a confused expression. “What’s up?” He asked.

“As you know, in one week I enter my second trimester,” Amy said rather formally. Jake nodded, clearly amused by her nervousness. “I think we should tell our parents.”

Jake sobered up, clearly understanding why she was nervous. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, I guess you’re right. We should tell them,” He agreed. “But that does not sound like a fun conversation given the circumstances.”

“That’s what I was thinking too,” Amy said, nodding her head.

“Okay, how about this?” Jake began, turning to Amy. “We tell my mom first. She lives closer than your parents anyway. Plus, she probably never expected me to have kids so she should be nothing but thrilled.”

“She really never expected you to have kids?”

“I doubt it. At least not the last few years,” Jake reasoned.

“You don’t think she’ll ask us a ton of questions about why we’re not a couple?” Amy asked hesitantly.

“She might ask if we are, but she won’t press it, I bet,” Jake replied.

Amy nodded thoughtfully. “This is a good plan. And then we’ll go face my incredibly Catholic parents who are incredibly traditional and it’ll be so much fun.”

Jake reached over and grabbed Amy’s hand. “It’ll be okay. We can do this. In the end we’ll just have to remind everyone that we’re happy with the situation we’re in and that there will be a whole new life entering the world and how joyful is that?” Jake added with a bright smile.

“You are confident now, but just wait until you have my dad sitting in front of you,” Amy warned.

“We can do this, Ames,” Jake promised. “It’ll be awkward, but we’re cops. We’ve dealt with worse stuff.”

Amy nodded in agreement, hoping Jake was right.

^^

It was a Friday evening when Amy and Jake went to Jake’s childhood home to see his mom. Amy was nervous but not as nervous as Jake seemed to be. For someone who seemed to be super confident when they were talking about it, he really started clamming up. They rang the bell and Jake bounced on his toes as they waited for his mom to answer the door.

“Jake!” She cheered as she opened the door, wrapping him in a hug.

“Hey, Mom!” He replied happily. He stepped back and gestured to Amy. “Mom, this is my partner, Amy Santiago. Amy, this is my mom, Karen Peralta.”

Karen extended her arms to wrap Amy in a hug. “Oh Amy, it is _so_ good to finally meet you. I have just heard so much about you from Jake. Like a lot.”

“Mom, be cool,” Jake pleaded as he walked past her into her home.

“Well I’m not lying,” Karen argued. “You do talk about her all the time.”

Amy just smiled as she looked at Jake’s embarrassed face. “Anyway, do you need any help with dinner, Mom?” Jake asked, trying to change the subject.

“You can help me get it on the table. I have it all ready.” Karen turned to look at Amy. “Could I interest you in some wine, Amy?”

“Oh, none for me. Thanks,” Amy replied.

They sat down at the table and ate a delicious lasagna that Karen had prepared. Amy could tell how nervous Jake was the entire time. His mother didn’t seem to be picking up on anything, but Amy knew. Karen was suggesting dessert when Jake stopped her. Amy realized they’d reached that moment of the night already.

“Mom, I have something I’d like to talk to you about, actually,” Jake said nervously. Karen nodded for him to continue. Jake looked over at Amy for support. She raised her eyebrows at him. It was _his_ mother. She’d take the reins with her parents.

Jake reached over under the table and grabbed Amy’s hand where it laid in her lap. She squeezed his hand for support. “Mom, the, uh, news I wanted to share with you is…um…Amy and I are having a baby,” he said softly.

Karen’s expression turned from shock to happiness so many times that Amy lost count. “Really?” They both nodded. “You’re having a baby? I’m gonna be a grandma?”

“Yes you are,” Jake replied happily.

“Oh my goodness!” she cried, jumping up from her seat to run around and hug Jake. Amy assumed she’d hug Jake first, but Karen ran to their side of the table and pulled Amy into a hug. Amy laughed as she embraced Karen. She pulled back and looked at Amy, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Oh honey, welcome to the family!” She pulled Amy into another big hug.

“Uh, Mom, we’re actually not a couple,” Jake said awkwardly.

Karen pulled back, making Amy nervous. “I don’t care,” she replied, looking at Jake like he was crazy. “But she’s having your child so that makes her family!” Amy smiled brightly, a laugh escaping her. She loved Jake’s mom. She’d been nervous to meet her. She’d been nervous that Karen would wonder why Amy didn’t want to be with her son. But instead she received hugs and familial welcomes. It was pretty great.

The rest of the night dissolved into baby talk. Karen wanted to know everything. Since they didn’t know the gender yet, they didn’t have _too_ much to share. Karen blessedly didn’t ask any difficult questions they weren’t prepared to answer. Like what would they do once they had the baby since they weren’t together. Amy’d already been fretting over that enough. The evening concluded peacefully. Amy was pretty positive though that the next day with her parents would not go as smoothly.

They rose early in the morning to drive to New Jersey where her parents lived. The car ride there was incredibly quiet. Both their nerves were off the charts. Amy tried to tell herself that in the end, her parents would be happy to have another grandchild. But she was pretty sure that before they reached that point, it would be rather uncomfortable.

They parked in the driveway and paused. They both sat there, not moving, holding their breaths before going to the door. Jake looked over at Amy. “It’s gonna be fine. Right?”

Amy looked over at him, the nervousness evident on his face. “I think so.”

They nodded at each other once and got out of the car. Amy had the urge to hold Jake’s hand as they walked to the door. Instead she clasped her hands too tightly. She knocked gently on the door of her childhood home, making a silent wish that her parents would be happy.

Her mom answered the door with her dad right behind her. “Amy!” She yelled, dragging Amy across the threshold and into a big hug. “It’s so good to see you! It’s been too long. The NYPD keeps you too busy.”

“That’s the job, Mom,” Amy replied with a shrug. She gestured Jake in behind her. “Mom, Dad, this is Jake Peralta, my partner.”

Her mother wrapped Jake in a hug as well. “Jake it is wonderful to meet you. We have heard so much about you from our Amy,” she said with a smile.

“Ugh, Mom,” Amy whined quietly. “I guess I know how you felt,” she said to Jake. He smirked at her.

“Jake, I am Teresa Santiago,” Amy’s mom introduced.

“So nice to meet you,” Jake said kindly. He turned to shake Amy’s dad’s hand.

Extending his hand, he said, “I’m Victor Santiago.” Jake nodded and shook his hand firmly.

“Come on in,” Teresa said, ushering them further into the house. “I thought it was too early for lunch, but I prepared some snacks.” She ran to the kitchen and was bringing in bowls of food. “Plus with your brother here, he wants things to snack on.”

“My brother is here?” Amy asked nervously as they sat down on the couch. “Which brother?”

“Luis.”

“Oh great…” Amy looked over at Jake with a panicked expression. “I didn’t account for one of them being here.”

“Ames, it’s gonna be fine,” Jake whispered.

“So you said you wanted to come spend time with us and that you had some news?” Her mom prompted. “What’s going on?”

“Have you received a promotion at work?” Her father asked.

Amy cringed. Jake intervened. “No, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she wasn’t far from one.” Amy looked at Jake with a surprised, yet grateful expression.

“No, there’s something else,” Amy alluded.

Just then her brother strolled into the room. “Amy! I didn’t know you were going to be here.”

“I could say the same,” she said, standing up to be even with her brother.

“Who’s this? Is this your boyfriend?” Luis asked.

“No, this is my partner, Jake,” Amy informed him.

“Oh, the one you’re always talking about?”

Amy slapped her brother on the arm. She dragged him toward the front door. “Hey, so Luis, I need to talk to Mom and Dad privately. Which means without you listening in. So how about you go for a walk and I’ll text you and tell you when it’s fine for you to return?”

He looked at her incredulously. “Seriously?” Amy nodded insistently. “Damn. Fine.” He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and walked out of the door. Amy felt slightly better.

“So what is going on?” Amy’s mother asked again.

Amy sat back down and took a deep breath. “Mom, Dad…I’m pregnant.” They both looked at her with stunned expressions. Amy could feel Jake tensing beside her. “I know it’s shocking but I am very happy about it and I wanted to share my very exciting news with you.”

Her mother nodded slowly as she was taking in the news. “You’re having a baby?” Amy nodded happily. “Oh that’s wonderful!”

Amy sighed. “You think so?”

“Of course!”

“This really is wonderful,” her dad chimed in. Amy was shocked at her parents’ reactions. “But I have to ask, were you scared to tell us?”

“Um…no,” Amy lied. “Why?”

“Well I’m just wondering why you had to bring your partner,” he explained.

Amy looked over at Jake. “Well that would be because Jake is the father.”

Both her parents stared at Jake, all joy gone from their faces. They were staring him down, seemingly appraising whether or not he was good enough for their daughter.

“I didn’t realize you were together,” her mother said after a long silence.

“We’re not.” Amy said, swearing she saw her dad’s eyes narrow as he looked at Jake.

“Well why not?” her father asked.

“It was my decision,” Amy insisted. “I thought it was too much happening all at once. I didn’t want to lose sight of the baby and Jake agreed. He’s been wonderful for me. He’s taken care of me and made sure I was doing everything right. He drove over to my apartment in the middle of the night once when I had a nightmare and was freaked out,” Amy offered, hoping her parents would stop staring at Jake.

“So, Jake,” her mother said, her voice dripping with skepticism. “You know, Amy can’t get away from the baby because she is the baby’s mother. Men, however, have the luxury to get away if they want to. What’s to stop you from leaving and ditching your child?” Amy cringed. She reached over and ran a hand along Jake’s back.

Jake swallowed harshly, clearly intimidated by her parents. “Well I would never do that. My dad left when I was a kid and it was awful. I would never inflict the same pain on my child that my dad did on me. More than that, I _want_ to be a part of my child’s life. When Amy told me that she was pregnant, it was easily the most excited I’d been in years. And as for not ditching Amy, she’s one of my best friends. We’re partners and we’ve relied on each other for years now. And I know that we can rely on each other now. She’s so strong she could probably handle all this without me, but I don’t plan to give her the chance to try. I want to be there for everything.”

Amy’s mom seemed to be impressed. Amy certainly was. Amy’s dad, however, still seemed unconvinced. “Amy has big dreams for her career. Being a single mother can derail that. How can she be sure she can count on you? How does she know the responsibility of the baby won’t fall solely on her, allowing her dreams to suffer as a consequence?” her father interrogated.

Jake sat straighter in his seat. “I know exactly how high Amy aims to fly. She’s been telling me as long as we’ve been partners. I plan to be a present parent, which includes being a good co-parent. I would never want to do anything to stand in the way of Amy reaching Captain one day. I know precisely how much she deserves it. Probably better than anyone other than our own Captain. Believe me, I plan to support her both as a co-parent and partner.”

Amy couldn’t help but smile as she heard Jake rave about her. Amy’s dad seemed to be warming up to Jake, but still unsure. She rifled through her purse until she found the ultrasound. She handed it across the table to her parents. They both were in awe as they saw the picture. Amy knew getting them to focus more on the baby and less on Jake would be a good thing. Jake looked over at her and mouthed “Thank you.” Amy smiled and nodded, reaching over and squeezing his knee. He grabbed her hand where it lay on his knee and he held it in his.

“So are we happy?” Amy asked nervously.

Amy’s parents looked up at her, tears in both of their eyes. “Of course,” Teresa said breathlessly.

They spent the rest of the time there chatting happily about the baby. Amy kept the secret from her brother when he came back. She wanted to tell her brothers at the same time if she could. Jake still seemed tense, but he would soften some each time Amy grabbed his hand.

As they walked to the car later, Jake smirked and looked at Amy. “See? I was right. Ultimately, they were happy.”

Amy rolled her eyes as she sat down in the passenger seat. They sat there for a minute before starting the car.

“Oh God,” Jake muttered.

“What?” Amy questioned.

“I just realized what the next step is,” Jake said regretfully. Amy looked at him with a questioning stare. “We have to tell the squad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that this chapter was worth the long break in between chapters! Please let me know what you thought!  
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos!! I'm really appreciating all the love for this story!


	7. Say What?

“That concludes our briefing. You are all dismissed,” Holt announced. “However, I need Diaz, Boyle, Peralta, Santiago, Hitchcock, Scully, Jeffords, and Gina to remain seated.”

“Sir, you had me at ‘remain seated,’” Hitchcock said with a smirk, raising his hands behind his head.

Rosa glared at him. “It was literally the last thing he said.” Hitchcock shrugged.

Once everyone else left the room, Holt cleared his throat. “Very well, Peralta, Santiago, I believe you requested the floor.”

“Yes, Sir,” Amy replied. “Thank you.” She and Jake stepped up to the podium in the briefing room, looking out at their friends and colleagues.

“Hello there!” Jake called to them all.

Amy nudged him with her elbow. “What happened to being cool?”

“They’re staring at me,” he insisted. Amy rolled her eyes.

“Are you dweebs gonna tell us why you kept us here?” Gina asked without looking up from her phone.

“Yes,” Amy said stiffly.

Jake nodded. “We have something we wanted to share with the group.” Charles practically mounted the table in front of him in anticipation. He was halfway across it, ready to bolt to them. Jake grimaced.

“Yes, as you may have noticed, I’ve been going out into the field less and less recently.” Amy swallowed harshly. “And there’s a reason for that…” She seemed to be struggling to get it out.

Jake laid a hand on her back and nodded slightly. “Everyone, Amy is pregnant.” No one made much of a reaction.

“With Jake’s baby…” Amy followed.

“ _What_?!” Charles screamed. He jumped to his feet looking back and forth between them so fast it looked like he was watching a tennis match.

Gina looked up slowly from her phone, “Wait…what did you say?”

“I’m pregnant with Jake’s baby,” Amy repeated for Gina.

“And this isn’t some ploy to make it seem like y’all are more interesting than my phone?” Gina asked skeptically.

“Definitely not,” Jake confirmed.

“Oh my God,” Gina said barely above a whisper. She looked at Amy. “Well Ames, congrats on losing your virginity!” Amy rolled her eyes, turning away from Gina.

Charles chose that moment to run forward and hug both of them. He released Jake and bent forward to talk to Amy’s stomach. “Hello there, Baby, I’m your Uncle Charles. I’m so glad you’re in there!” Amy grimaced at Charles and backed away from him.

“So what does this mean for me and Amy?” Hitchcock asked grossly.

“That was always 100% no,” Amy informed with a shiver.

“I’m so glad we can talk about this now! The secret was eating me alive!” Terry cried. Gina and Charles turned around slowly and looked at Terry. He suddenly got a fearful look on his face. “Oops, Terry wasn’t supposed to say he knew.”

“Why did Terry know and I didn’t?” Gina demanded. “I’m your oldest friend, Jake!”

“Gee, maybe it was because of your reaction…” Amy wondered aloud. Gina glared at her.

“Eh, if it’s all out in the open, I knew too,” Rosa said, sounding bored.

“Rosa knew too?” Charles screeched.

“Yes, and I knew weeks ago since I am Santiago’s superior officer and Peralta wanted her removed from the field,” Holt chimed in uncharacteristically.

Gina looked angry and Charles looked ready to cry. “Wow,” Gina remarked.

“I can’t believe we were the last to know,” Charles wept. “Jake I thought we were best friends.”

“We are, Bud, but Amy didn’t want me to tell you,” He informed. Charles glared at Amy. “We wanted to get through her first trimester before everyone knew and we didn’t think you could keep the secret.”

“But they could?” Gina questioned loudly.

“Well, clearly they _did_ ,” Amy pointed out.

“Inconsequential.” Gina looked around the room. “So you lumped us in with Hitchcock and Scully? I feel betrayed!”

“Yeah, me too!” Charles chimed in. “And if you wanted to wait till you got through Amy’s first trimester, how come Sarge and Rosa knew?”

“Rosa walked in on me with a pregnancy test,” Amy replied. “She actually knew about the baby before Jake did.”

Jake nodded, pointing at Amy to back up her argument. “And Jake apparently needed “Dad advice” so he went to Terry,” Amy continued.

Charles sat down in his seat glumly. “Congratulations, you guys,” Terry said weakly.

Jake smiled awkwardly. “Thanks, Terry!”

“Wait,” Charles exclaimed, a cheerful look crossing his face. “Does that mean you guys are together?”

Amy and Jake looked at each other with knowing expressions. They’d known this would happen. “No,” they said together.

“What do you mean you aren’t together?” Charles questioned. “But you’re having a baby.”

“Yeah, and Jake, you basically live with Amy,” Terry added.

Jake glared at Terry. “Terry, do you know what the phrase “Don’t talk about the little conversation in the break room” means? It means don’t talk about the specifics of the conversation that we had in the break room!”

“Sorry,” Terry said sheepishly.

“Okay, what now?” Rosa interjected. “I didn’t know this. You guys are living together?”

“Not…officially…” Jake replied halfheartedly.

“So you’re living together, and having a baby…but you aren’t a couple…” Gina asked, a confused tone dripping from her words.

“Exactly,” Amy confirmed.

Gina turned around to the rest of the group. “Anyone else think this sounds like a disaster waiting to happen?”

“It doesn’t matter what you think, because we weren’t taking a vote on it,” Jake said with finality. Gina looked at him with a dazed expression. “Look, Amy and I are really excited about the baby and we wanted to share it with you guys. We were by no means obliged to tell you. Maybe take that into consideration.” Jake shot a pointed look at Gina and walked from the briefing room. Amy stared after him in awe.

“Damn,” Terry muttered.

Amy didn’t want to push Jake to talk about anything. She could clearly tell he was irritated. Maybe he’s like her and he’d been secretly wondering if their whole set up was, as Gina had put it, a disaster waiting to happen. Amy had been so content with it all, that she just assumed Jake was too. Had she been keeping him in her bed like a sex-less captive? Maybe she needed to talk to him about it again and make sure they were still okay.

Amy was getting up to go the break room a bit later when she walked by and patted Jake on the shoulder. He smiled at her as she walked past. Maybe they were still okay after all.

Right around lunch, Terry called the attention of the bullpen. “Everyone, we’re going to Shaw’s tonight to celebrate Jake and Amy’s exciting news! I know a bar isn’t a typical place to celebrate a pregnancy, sorry Amy, but it’s our traditional place. So you all better be there!”

Jake swiveled in his chair to look at the Sarge. “What if Amy and I don’t want to go?” Amy was concerned until she saw his smirk.

“You still better be there. Let some damn people celebrate you,” Terry threatened.

Jake chuckled and nodded.

^^

The whole squad was at the bar to celebrate the baby and the night had been hilarious. Charles had been all over the place, mooning over the beauty of new life to crying because he wished he known sooner. Jake just shook his head at his friend. Jake was seated at a table watching what looked like Rosa and Gina interrogate Amy. At one point, Amy, looking overwhelmed, had caught Jake’s eyes and made a crazy face. He just smiled back at her shaking his head at their friends.

He was sitting there watching Amy when Charles sat down next to him. “Hey, Jakey!”

Jake smirked. “Hey, Bud.”

“So I haven’t very composedly said congratulations,” Charles admitted. Jake laughed and nodded. “I don’t know if you could tell, but I’m really happy for you.”

Jake threw his arm around Charles’s shoulder. “Thanks, Charles.”

“You’re gonna be a dad. That’s so awesome!” Charles exclaimed. “You’re gonna make a really good dad.”

Jake took a deep breath and sighed, removing his arm from Charles’s shoulder. “Yeah, I hope so.”

“Can I ask you something though?” Charles asked hesitantly. Jake looked at him skeptically. “And this isn’t coming from the manic side expressed earlier. This is just me, being your friend, asking a question.” Jake looked at him doubtfully, but nodded for him to continue. “Where do you see this whole ‘living with Amy’ thing going? And I’m not trying to be mean like Gina was earlier. I mean it as your friend.” Charles paused, looking at Jake earnestly. “Jake, you’ve had feelings for Amy for…a long time. And now you’re having a baby together? That’s big. And it’s awesome. But I guess I don’t get why you’re living with her. I just feel like down the road you’re gonna get hurt. And you know I don’t want to see that happen.”

Jake sighed and took a long pull from his beer. “Yeah I have had feelings for her for a long time now. And I still do. And she knows that. And maybe if I hadn’t been dumb right after we slept together, I wouldn’t be in this weird situation. But I was and I am.” Jake took another drink, avoiding Charles’s stares. “I just want to be with her. But if I can’t be _with_ her, I still want to be around her. I want to help her the best that I can. And if that means calming her down when she has some crazy dream at two in the morning, then damn it, that’s what I’ll do.” Jake looked up at Amy, still deep in conversation with Rosa and Gina. “I love her,” he admitted just above a whisper. “And if she doesn’t want me in that way, I’ll take what I can get. I just want to be there for her and for our child. Any way that I can.”

Charles blew out a breath, coyly wiping something off his cheek that Jake suspected was a tear. “Well, it seems like you know what you want. I just wanted to make sure you were protecting your heart.”

“There’s no protecting my heart,” Jake said bluntly.

“Because she has it?”

Jake looked back up at Amy right as she looked at him and smiled. He chuckled dryly. “Yeah. 100%.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So originally, I intended this to be a bit longer, but that would have included a time jump, so I figured I'd save that for the next chapter! I hope you guys are still enjoying it! Real talk, I've been BLOWN AWAY by the reaction to this fic! Y'all are too nice to me!   
> I hope you'll continue to tell me what you think!


	8. Girl, Wake Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank goodness for unexpected car appointments that leave me with an hour with nothing to do but write!

So suddenly everyone knew about the baby and the world hadn’t ended. Amy and Jake settled into life where all their friends and family knew that they were having a baby. Charles surprisingly didn’t make too many uncomfortable comments. Amy had expected them to be a near constant after he knew. Once when they were talking about the baby, she could sense him starting to gush but he looked over at Jake and then calmed down and went back to work.

Thankfully, nothing had changed between Amy and Jake. She was still so happy that he was with her in all of it. It made a difference having someone with her at her doctor’s appointments. Someone who would share her disappointment when the baby wasn’t turned the right way and they couldn’t find out the gender. The pregnancy started to really seem real.

Amy could tell she was starting to show. Jake humored her and said that there was indeed a tiny bump. He may have seemed like he didn’t believe it was really there, but that didn’t stop him from touching it constantly. Times like that made Amy feel like they were a family. The most unconventional family, but a family nonetheless.

Amy was entering the fifth month of her pregnancy and was still barely showing when Kylie came back to New York. She’d spent months in Ireland with her parents who’d just relocated there. Her lengthy sabbatical had meant that Amy’d never told her she’d slept with Jake or anything about the pregnancy. It wasn’t something she wanted to share over skype.

“Why are you so nervous to see Kylie?” Jake asked Amy over breakfast the morning before Amy would see her.

“She doesn’t know I’m pregnant,” Amy explained.

“Well yeah, but literally everyone else reacted well,” Jake reminded her. “Even your parents were thrilled once they got past grilling me.”

Amy chuckled, “Well sure, but Kylie is different.”

Jake shook his head as he left the table. “Don’t stress too much, Ames. It’s bad for the baby,” he said as he walked past her, squeezing her shoulder.

^^

Amy tried to do as Jake had advised her and not stress over telling Kylie. The problem was, for everyone except Rosa, she’d had Jake next to her to give her support as she told people. But this time, it would just be Amy and Kylie. Jake had promised to be scarce so as not to interrupt their time together. While Amy was touched, she also wished Jake would be there to support her like he did before.

Amy was pacing by the time there was a knock on the door. She shook out her nerves and went to answer the door. Kylie screeched as Amy opened the door and pulled her into a tight hug. Amy reciprocated, holding her friend close, hoping she couldn’t sense her nerves.

“Oh my God, it’s been too long,” Kylie sighed as she pulled back from the hug.

Amy smiled at her friend. “I agree.”

Kylie looked at Amy critically. Amy couldn’t help but fiddle with her shirt. She’d purposefully worn a more billowy top so she didn’t instantly give away the bump, even if Jake said it wasn’t immediately noticeable. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but have you put on weight?” Amy faltered. She didn’t know how to say it yet. Kylie misinterpreted her silence. “Hey, I’m your best friend, I’m allowed to ask you these things. I’m not judging, I’m just asking. Your face just looks slightly fuller.”

Amy sighed. “Work has been crazy. I wouldn’t say I’ve been paying _that_ much attention to what I’ve been eating.” It was a complete lie of course, she’d been paying more attention than ever to what she ate.

“I’m kinda surprised you wanted to just hang out here,” Kylie commented. “I mean we always go out and get a little crazy.”

“Well I just felt like we wouldn’t really catch up like we need to at some loud bar,” Amy reasoned. Also, Amy couldn’t drink, but Kylie would find that out eventually.

Kylie settled down on Amy’s couch. “I suppose I can get on board with that,” she said with a smile. “I really missed you.” Amy agreed with her. She noticed her laundry basket was sitting next to the couch. She realized she should have moved it. “So what’s been going on in your life? I feel like when I was gone all we did was talk about my adventures in Ireland.”

This was her chance, but Amy couldn’t take it. “Uh, not too much. You know, work.” She looked at her full laundry basket again, itching to move it.

Kylie noticed and looked over at the basket. Sitting on top was one of Jake’s shirts. Kylie gasped, walking over and picking up the men’s shirt, unaware that it was Jake’s. “Is this a man’s shirt? Oh my God, Amy, are you living with someone?”

“What?” Amy practically screeched. “No, of course not.”

“Then why do you have a men’s shirt in your laundry?”

“I…like wearing men’s shirts…” Amy lied.

Kylie looked at her skeptically. “Even plaid button downs?” She asked, holding up the folded shirt of Jake’s further down in the basket.

“Uhh…” Amy felt flustered. “Okay, listen I have something to tell you.”

“I can’t believe you’re living with someone and you didn’t tell me!” Kylie exclaimed.

“I’m not living with someone,” Amy defended. “Not…officially.” Kylie stared at her skeptically. Amy grabbed Kylie’s hand and she sat down on the couch. Kylie followed suit. “I’m…pregnant.”

“What?” Kylie asked in hushed tones.

“I’m having a baby,” Amy reiterated.

“Oh my God,” Kylie whispered. Suddenly she screeched and leaned forward hugging Amy. “I can’t believe this.” Amy nodded, waiting for Kylie’s full freak out before she tried to talk more. “Wait, so who is the father? Is that who’s living with you?”

“Not officially living with me,” Amy repeated. “Just staying here sometimes when I need support.” It was a lie, of course. Jake spent every single night with Amy and a good portion of his closet was now at Amy’s.

“So who is it? Is it someone I would know?” Kylie asked.

Amy mentally noted that Kylie and Jake had in fact met a few times, but she wouldn’t say that they _knew_ each other. She wondered if she could lie about it to avoid all of Kylie’s questions.

“Well…” Amy stalled.

Timing, however, was not her friend. She heard a key in the door and it opened too fast for her to react. Jake walked in the door. Kylie’s head whipped over to stare at him. “Hey!” he greeted. “I’m just here to change my shirt. A drunk and disorderly puked on me on my way out of the precinct. Charles and I are going out for dinner so I’m not interrupting Girl’s Night.” Kylie looked over at Amy with an unreadable look on her face. Amy just stared at Jake, trying to avoid Kylie’s looks. “Ooh, my favorite shirt,” Jake said, grabbing the plaid shirt Kylie had been holding just a few minutes earlier. Jake walked into the other room to change as Amy finally met Kylie’s stares. She was shaking her head at Amy.

Jake walked back out quickly. “Okay, I’m off.” He paused. “Wait, Kylie, how was Ireland?”

Kylie finally took her eyes off Amy to look at Jake. “It was great. How were your last six months?”

Amy jumped in quickly. “Jake, I bet Charles is waiting on you.” He looked at Amy hesitantly. “So you shouldn’t keep him waiting.”

“Okay…” Jake said slowly, looking between the two of them. “I’ll see you guys later.” He took one last curious look at Amy before he walked out the door.

Kylie was shaking her head at Amy disapprovingly. “What?” Amy asked innocently.

“I cannot believe that you didn’t tell me that you _finally_ slept with your partner.”

“I wouldn’t say finally,” Amy replied.

“You wouldn’t? After _years_ of being into him?” Kylie retorted.

“I have not been into Jake for years!” Amy argued.

“You may not have had feelings for him for years, but you’ve definitely wanted to hit that for years,” Kylie reminded her. Amy rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

“Look, it was kind of a shitshow for a little bit after we did. I didn’t really tell anyone.”

Kylie raised her eyebrows. “A shitshow? Do I need to run after him and beat his ass?”

Amy laughed, shaking her head. “No, we’re good now.”

“Are you together?”

“No,” Amy replied hesitantly. “I decided that was a bad idea.”

“It was _your_ decision?” Amy nodded. Kylie threw her hands up in the air. “Amy, what are you doing?”

“You’re basically living with the guy _and_ having a baby with him, but you aren’t together?” Kylie questioned.

“Yeah. It just wasn’t the right time while we were expecting a baby.”

“You’re being stupid,” Kylie said bluntly.

“Why do you have such a problem with it now that you know it’s Jake? You seemed fine with it all when it was just some random guy,” Amy asked.

“Because it’s _Jake_. You guys have a history!”

Amy scoffed. “No we don’t. There’s no history.”

“Jake told you he had feelings for you while you had a boyfriend. You admitted to returning those feelings while _he_ had a girlfriend. Amy, you’ve both put your feelings out there. And now you guys have had sex. There’s an emotional component to that too. Especially for you. I’m just worried that you’re doing all this big stuff with him and then you’re going to end up getting hurt.”

“Jake isn’t going to hurt me,” Amy stated with a shake of her head.

“Maybe not intentionally,” Kylie said, wearing a sad expression. “But whether you’re addressing them or not, you have feelings for Jake. Maybe now isn’t the right time while you’re expecting the baby. But, Amy, when will be? When you have a screaming infant that keeps you up all the time? When you’re chasing after a toddler?”

Kylie pinned Amy with an intense look. “At some point, Jake is going to meet someone. And since you guys aren’t together, you’ll have no claim on him. He’ll have no ties to keep him from dating her. And falling in love with her. And maybe even marrying her. Amy, if you have feelings for him still, which I can almost guarantee that you do, you need to act on them. There’s no right time. Just do it.”

Amy sighed. “Kylie, I’m…scared. What if something goes wrong? I can’t lose Jake. He’s too important to me.”

“Amy,” Kylie said with a sigh to match Amy’s, “I’m going to give you two scenarios, and you tell me which one scares you more. Scenario one: You and Jake start dating, you welcome a beautiful baby, and you guys are happy, but there’s always that fear that something could go wrong. Which, if I may say, is a possibility in _any_ relationship.” Amy looked at Kylie with a thoughtful expression. She had a point. “Or we have scenario two,” Kylie continued, “It’s your kid’s third birthday. They’re blowing out the candles on the cake you definitely didn’t make. And you look over at Jake to share a look about how fast your child is growing. But he’s not sharing that look with you; he’s sharing it with his wife. Your child’s step mother. Because you never acted on your feelings and you lost your chance with Jake. Forever.” Amy took a deep breath. She didn’t like scenario two.

“Look, Amy at some point, you need to get over this dumb fear of yours,” Kylie said almost kindly. “Something is going to give you a reason to get over it, be it the universe, or the baby, or Jake himself. Something is going to give you a reason to make you realize you were being silly. My only hope for you is that find that reason before it’s too late.” Amy could feel tears stirring in her eyes. She prayed they wouldn’t fall. “Now, I don’t know about you, but I feel like eating.” Amy nodded silently, thoughts swimming around in her mind.

Amy laid in bed that night, listening to Jake breathing next to her. She couldn’t stop thinking about everything Kylie said. Amy looked over at Jake, sleeping peacefully in her bed. He’d slept there for months now, no indication that he planned to leave any time soon. Their arrangement may have some obvious flaws, but it made her happy. And it seemed to make Jake happy. Kylie couldn’t understand it since she wasn’t a part of it. No one other than the two of them could understand it. Still, Amy couldn’t help but think about her feelings for Jake every time she woke up next to him. Or every time he did something especially sweet for her. Which was actually a pretty common occurrence. So maybe her feelings for Jake were edging closer to a different word. That didn’t mean it was the right time. She couldn’t sleep as she kept hearing Kylie’s speech echoing through her mind. She finally fell asleep thinking of reasons to change her mind and how silly a concept was.

What Amy didn’t know was that in ten days, twelve hours, seventeen minutes, and thirty-six seconds, Captain Holt would call her into his office and give her a reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who else thought that Amy needed someone to shake her and tell her how silly she was being?   
> I'm so touched by the response to this story! Y'all are so great!   
> Hopefully the next chapter should come soon!


	9. I Could Live or I Could Die Hanging On the Words You Say

**Ten days, twelve hours, seventeen minutes, and thirty-six seconds later**

Amy was sitting at her desk, as per usual nowadays, when Captain Holt called her name. She turned in her chair to look at him. His face showed no context for his call. Softly he said, “I need to speak with you. Now.”

Amy jumped up quickly. “Yes, Sir!” She followed Holt swiftly into his office and stood in front of his desk.

“Santiago, I think you should sit down.” Amy was confused but sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk. “As you know, Detective Peralta was out on a case with Detective Boyle.”

Amy nodded, thinking about Jake getting excited about a break in the case. He’d shot Amy the same grin she’d seen hundreds of times as he found the answer. He’d said goodbye to her as he and Charles raced out of the precinct.

“I’m afraid I have to share some news with you,” Captain Holt continued. Amy tensed in her seat, starting to wring her hands. “There was…an accident. Detective Peralta was shot in the field. Now, Detective Boyle assures me that it did not seem critical. However, given your…situation with Peralta, I wanted to tell you myself.”

Amy could feel tears stinging in her eyes. Her heart was racing and she felt dizzy. Jake was shot? Was he still alive? Would he meet their child? Amy remembered that Holt seemed to think it wasn’t a serious injury, but she couldn’t get past the fact that Jake had been shot.

Captain Holt was still talking to her but Amy heard none of it. She felt like she could be ill. Suddenly her mind cleared and one thought remained. She needed to see Jake.

Not even caring that she was interrupting her captain, Amy spoke for the first time. “Excuse me, Sir, can you please dismiss me? I need to go see Jake.”

Holt nodded, apparently not offended by her interruption. “I will drive you there myself. Not to be rude, but you don’t seem fit for driving just now.”

Amy nodded, standing quickly and walking out of his office. She grabbed her purse and walked to the elevator, Holt behind her. The car ride to the hospital was silent. Amy’s mind was racing and it’s not like Holt was ever one for chit chat. Amy’s hand itched to turn on the sirens. Her whole body ached for Captain Holt to drive even just a bit faster.

Once they arrived, Amy ran into the hospital, only stopping when she spotted Charles. He held his hands up to calm her down. “He’s gonnna be fine, Amy.”

Amy panted. “I’m sorry, Charles, but that’s not gonna make me feel better until I hear it from a doctor.”

“He’s back getting it worked on,” Charles informed Amy and Holt. “They said the area of injury is not one they’re extremely concerned about.”

“Not _extremely_ concerned about?” Amy questioned.

“I just think they didn’t want to officially say it was fine until it was,” Charles reassured her. “But he’s been back there almost an hour. We should have an update soon.”

Amy sat down next to Holt and Charles and continued to fret. She thought of all the things she and Jake still needed to do together. They didn’t even know if their baby was a boy or a girl. For a fleeting moment, she thought of the conversation she’d had with Kylie about Jake. What would her life look like if something happened to Jake? How would she feel if she never got to see him again? If she could never joke with him about something stupid? If she could never wake up to the feeling of being wrapped in his arms? What if she never got to tell Jake some very important feelings she’d been having?

The longer it took for the doctor to make an appearance, the more desperate Amy became to see Jake. She’d made up her mind. She’d found her “reason,” as Kylie had put it. Amy couldn’t bear the thought of living without Jake. And that meant telling him and changing their situation. Amy was trying to think of how to start that conversation when the doctor finally came to the waiting room.

Amy and Charles sprinted to him. He looked at Charles first. “You came in with Detective Peralta?”

“Yes.”

“How is he?” Amy demanded.

“Are you his wife?” The doctor asked.

“Yes,” Amy lied immediately. She saw the small double take Charles did, but thankfully, he didn’t press the matter.

“Alright, well Mrs. Peralta,” the doctor began, “I’m happy to say your husband will be just fine. He’ll be a bit sore for a while and he might require some physical therapy, but he’ll be just fine. The gunshot was to the shoulder and it missed everything important. He’s awake and you can see him now if you’d like.”

“Yes!” Amy exclaimed quickly. She looked back apologetically at Charles as the doctor escorted her away from the waiting room. He smiled and nodded humoredly at her, waving her on. The doctor stopped at the nurses’ station but pointed Amy in the direction of Jake’s room. She ran into the room, not looking to see if anyone else was there. She saw Jake, sitting up on the bed, his shoulder wrapped in and in a sling. Amy didn’t slow down as she threw her arms around his neck, surprising him. “Jake! Oh my God! I’m so glad you’re okay!” she cried.

She felt him hastily wrap his good arm around her, a chuckle escaping him. “Ames, I’m fine.”

Amy was still holding on to him, unable to make herself let go. “I know. But I was so worried you wouldn’t be.” Jake comfortingly rubbed his hand up and down her back. He released a small gasp as she wrapped her arms still tighter. Suddenly she released him. “Did I hurt you?”

Jake grimaced. “Only a little.”

Amy gently patted his chest. “I’m sorry.”

A male nurse stepped closer to the bed hesitantly. “You’re Mrs. Peralta?”

Jake started to object but Amy grabbed his hand in hers and said, “Yes, I am.” She squeezed Jake’s hand as a way of saying ‘Go with it.’ Jake squeezed back, a knowing grin on his face.

“Well, your husband is lucky to have only sustained a GSW to the shoulder, given what happened. He is on some painkillers right now, so you’ll need to drive him home.” Amy nodded. “It was a pretty simple job of getting the bullet out, so he’ll be able to go home later today. However, he _may_ need physical therapy. His general physician can make the call on that based on his recovery.”

“Okay,” Amy said, nodding as she absorbed the information.

“I know this is a lot,” the nurse said, holding out some papers. “Here’s some information for you. It’ll tell you what you need to know and remember. The most important thing is that your husband is going to be fine.”

Amy looked over at Jake and nodded with a smile spreading across her face. “Good.” The nurse nodded and left the room. Amy turned to Jake again. “So how did this happen?”

Jake sighed. “So we got the perp we were looking for. Problem was, as we were taking him to the car, we didn’t realize he had an accomplice hiding inside his house. And he came running out, shooting wildly so we wouldn’t run after him and I caught a bullet in the shoulder.” Amy gaped at him. “But it’s okay. It was fine.”

“Jake, you could have been so much worse!” Amy exclaimed. “You’re lucky that it just hit your shoulder.”

Jake nodded. “Yeah, I know. But I am fine. The doctor said it and so did the nurse. And my shoulder’s a little sore, but I’ll heal! You don’t need to worry.”

Amy laughed dryly. “Little late for that.”

Jake pulled her closer to sit on the bed next to him. He tucked her into his good side. “I’m sorry. I promise I’ll be okay.”

“You better be.”

^^

They spent a few more hours at the hospital, Holt, Charles, and other members of the squad coming in and out along with doctors and nurses. Everyone just wanted to make sure Jake was in good shape. And seemingly he was. Apparently the gunshot wound had in fact been minor. Though it hadn’t seemed minor to Amy in any way. She never left Jake’s bedside the rest of the time at the hospital. Finally, later in the evening, they released Jake, with specifications for how soon he needs to have his recovery checked.

Amy took him home, still trying to craft a speech in her head. They took a cab home from the hospital and Amy wouldn’t release his hand the whole ride back to her apartment. Jake was talking about needing something to eat as they walked into the apartment. Amy shut the door and stood there as Jake walked around the kitchen. He turned around when he realized she wasn’t responding. She was staring at him in a daze. “Ames, you okay?”

Amy shook her head, trying to focus back on the present. “Yeah.”

Jake walked over closer to her with a knowing look on his face. “Look, Amy, I know what you’re gonna say. I need to be more careful. I have more people to think about now. And you’re right. But I wasn’t being reckless. It just happened. And I’m fine.”

Amy smiled sadly. “That’s actually not at all what I was going to say.” Jake looked confused. “I was going to say that I’d made a mistake. That I’d been an idiot.” Amy paused, gathering her courage to continue. “I know I had my reasons for not wanting us to be together after we found out about the baby. And I mean I still feel that way a bit, but today…those reasons aren’t enough anymore.”

“What are you saying?” Jake asked nervously.

“I’m saying that I think I’m ready to give us a try. I _want_ this. I…I don’t want to miss our chance. I don’t want to look over as our kid blows out his candles at his third birthday and see you with someone else,” Amy rambled. “I don’t want to lose you, Jake.”

Jake’s face remained guarded. “Amy, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know,” she said. “But I mean…is that still something you would want? You know, us?” Amy asked hesitantly.

Jake laughed. “Of course it is. But I don’t want it if you’re just freaked that I got shot.” Amy opened her mouth to reply, but he kept going. “I’ve wanted this for a while. I mean you know that. And I was never going to push you to agree to it or anything because I respect your opinions and your reasons for not doing it. But I also don’t want to say yes and then wake up one morning and have you realize that you don’t actually want this, you were just scared.”

Amy walked closer to Jake, reaching out and grabbing the front of his jacket. “Jake, that’s not going to happen.” Jake looked at her skeptically. “It won’t because,” she paused, gathering her breath, “Because I love you.”

Jake smiled, his eyes growing wider, happiness spreading across his face. “Really?”

Amy nodded. “I do. I was just scared that something would go wrong between us and then we’d be stuck as partners _and_ co-parents. But that doesn’t scare me anymore. Having your life risked without you knowing how I truly felt, that scared me more. I love you. And I don’t know how you –”

“I love you, too,” Jake said quickly, cutting off the end of her ramblings.

Amy smiled hugely. “Yeah?”

Jake lifted up his good arm and tucked Amy’s hair behind her ear. “Oh yeah. Big time. Romantic stylez.” Amy laughed, shaking her head. She looked up at him, hoping he could see that she meant every word she’d said.

They stared at each other intensely for a beat before they both leaned in and their lips met. Amy instantly wrapped her arms around Jake, one hand on his neck, the other at his back. His hand was in her hair, holding her head. They kissed each other passionately, fueled by the months of build up between them. Slowly, Jake started to walk them backwards. Soon enough, Amy felt her back hit the wall as Jake crowded her space, getting as close as he could. Amy’s body felt like it was burning at each point where it came in contact with Jake’s.

They broke apart once breathing became necessary. Panting, they stared at each other with matching grins on their faces. “God, what have we been doing?” Amy sighed, running her hand up Jake’s chest and back into his hair. Jake laughed before he leaned in and kissed her again. He kissed her a few times on the lips before he laid a trail of kisses across her jaw and down her neck. He was paying special attention to her pulse point when Amy moaned. Her hands clutched at Jake’s hair, pulling slightly. She felt more than hear the small groan he released against her neck. His hand worked its way under her shirt, running across her torso as she redirected his lips back to hers.

Amy knew where she wanted this to go, so she began working at peeling Jake’s layers off of him. His jacket was on the floor quickly and she began trying to yank up his t-shirt. She was delayed by Jake’s refusal to part from her even for a second. Jake’s hand moved out from under her shirt and she felt him attempting to undo the buttons one handedly as they continued to kiss.

Suddenly Jake broke away, breathing a sigh of frustration. “This is so embarrassing, but I need help with your shirt. I only have one usable hand right now,” he reminded her, motioning to the sling. Amy looked up at his kiss swollen lips and his messed up hair and she felt a zing of pride, followed quickly by a more intense and lasting feeling of desire. She undid her buttons as quickly as possible, ripping his shirt off him afterwards as gently as she could. Amy popped the buttons on his pants and unzipped them, feeling how ready Jake was for them to continue. As fast as she could, she rid herself of her own pants, leaving all their clothes behind them.

They both surged quickly back at each other, hands exploring freely as Amy started to walk them backward toward her, well basically _their_ , bedroom. After a few bumps into walls, they finally made it down the hall with minimal parting of their bodies. Amy pulled back quickly, look at Jake with a serious expression. “Wait, I’m not going to hurt you, am I?”

Jake laughed. “I don’t care.” He leaned back in to kiss her but she pulled back before he could.

“No, Jake, I –”

He interrupted her. “Amy,” he said, matching her serious expression. “You won’t hurt me. I don’t feel like anything could right now.” Jake leaned in slowly and kissed her almost chastely. He looked in her eyes with an intense expression. “I love you, Amy.”

Amy smiled, running her hand through his hair. “I love you, too.” She leaned in and they kissed chastely again. It wasn’t long until the chaste kiss morphed into a much less chaste one, before Amy was pushing them further into the room and onto the bed, and before they engaged in a night of passion, months overdue.

^^

Amy woke up ten minutes before her alarm. She noted that she was curled up in Jake’s embrace as she almost always was. For a moment, it felt like any other morning. And then she noticed her complete lack of clothes and she remembered it all. A smile spread across her face as she snuggled further into Jake’s arms to enjoy another moment before she had to get up for work. She felt his arm tighten around her, clutching her closer to him. He placed a kiss against her forehead. Amy looked up and saw him smiling down at her. He leaned down and kissed her languidly until her alarm went off.

“What if you just…didn’t go to work today?” Jake asked.

Amy smirked. “That does sound tempting.”

“Yeah, you should just skip. Call in sick. I mean you’re just on desk duty,” he reasoned. Amy fixed him with a critical glare. “I mean, you’re doing very important work from your desk but I’m sure the NYPD can survive one day without you. Me, though, I’m not so sure…” Jake said with an impish grin.

Amy rolled her eyes. She kissed him quickly before she rolled toward the end of the bed. “I think you’ll be fine.” She stood up and put on her robe. “I’m sure you’ll go back to sleep and sleep most of the day anyway.”

Jake laughed. “Yeah, maybe.” He sat up in bed and stretched. He gasped as he tried to move his injured shoulder.

Amy turned around to see his face considerably contorted in pain. She walked closer to the bed, wearing a grimace. “I’m sorry.” She was still worried she’d hurt him last night.

Jake smiled kindly. “I’m not.” Amy returned his smile, leaning down to kiss him again. They kissed slowly until Jake tried to lean back and take Amy with him. She pulled back quickly. “You know I have to work,” she said, pointing her finger at him accusingly.

He held his hands up. “I make no apologies.”

Amy shook her head with a laugh and walked toward the bathroom.

^^

After several more long kisses, Amy finally left the apartment, running late for work. As much as she despised being late, she had no regrets. She strolled into work, pretending nothing was wrong. Amy hadn’t been seated at her desk for a full minute before members of the squad approached her.

“How’s Jake?” Rosa asked.

“Yeah, does he need anything?” Terry followed up.

“And does he need his best friend to give him a sponge bath?” Charles ventured. Amy stared at him with a repulsed expression.

“Charles, obviously if Jake needed a sponge bath it would be Amy doing it,” Gina interrupted from her desk.

Amy turned and looked at Gina. She cleared her throat. “Uh, why me?” Gina just laughed at her. Amy rolled her eyes and looked back at the others. “Jake is fine. Probably still sleeping. I don’t think he needs anything other than to rest and recover. And no, he doesn’t need a sponge bath, though, I’ll be sure to let him know you volunteered for that, Charles.”

The next couple of hours passed easily, paperwork sliding into the completed pile quickly. Amy got up to get herself some more tea when she ran into the others in the break room. Amy wasn’t sure what they were talking about as she waited for her tea to be ready.

“So Jake’s really fine?” Charles asked Amy.

Amy nodded. “Yes. I mean you were there. You know it was minor.”

“Yeah, Charles was trying to make you feel better yesterday,” Rosa informed Amy. “He was actually quite freaked out. And apparently still is.”

Amy smiled. “That’s sweet, Charles. But yes, Jake is fine.” She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out to read the text from Jake. “See,” she said, waving her phone, “He just woke up. He’s great.” Amy read the two texts he’d sent her back to back. She smiled down at her phone, getting ready to reply.

“Oh my God,” Gina said, scandalized. “You slept with Jake!”

Amy panicked. How could she know that? Amy placed her hand on her slightly protruding belly as an idea struck her. “Uh, yeah, Gina. Everyone knows that,” Amy joked, covering up the truth, as she rubbed her belly for emphasis. She was proud of herself for thinking of a way out of it that fast.

“No, I don’t mean five months ago or whenever,” Gina dismissed. “I mean last night.”

“What?” Amy scoffed. Charles and Rosa looked intrigued.

“Why were you smiling at your phone like a love-sick fool?” Gina accused.

“I wasn’t.”

“You kinda were,” Charles stated.

Rosa stood up quickly and grabbed Amy’s phone from her hands, despite Amy’s attempts to keep it. “She has two texts from Jake. First one reads: I just woke up. Second one: I miss you.” Gina gagged as Charles squealed. Rosa looked disgusted as she gave Amy her phone back. “You guys definitely did it,” Rosa agreed. Amy rolled her eyes.

“No one looks at their phone like that unless something big happened,” Gina assured her. “It was intensely obvious. But big whoop? So you guys had life affirming, Jake’s-not-dead sex.”

“No we didn’t,” Amy maintained, though she knew she had to cave soon. “If anything it was why-haven’t-we-been-doing-this-for-months sex,” she finally admitted.

“Wait, so you guys really did?” Charles asked.

Amy sighed. “Yes,” she muttered. Charles leapt out of his seat and hugged Amy. “Charles, stop being weird,” Amy demanded, fighting off his hug.

“So what does this mean?” Gina questioned. “Are you two together now?”

Amy looked down at her phone, wishing Jake was here to confirm this with her. She didn’t know if they were telling people yet. There was no backing out now, though. “Yeah, we are,” Amy confirmed.

“Seriously?” Charles asked, almost in awe. Amy just nodded. “Well congratulations, Amy. You’ve chosen wisely.”

Amy wrinkled her nose, choosing that moment to leave the break room. Rather than walking to her desk, she walked outside to the roof. She pressed on Jake’s name, hoping he would answer.

“Hello?”

“Hi, how are you feeling?” Amy asked.

“Pretty high,” Jake admitted.

Amy laughed. “You know, I’m a cop. You probably shouldn’t tell me these things.”

“On prescription painkillers for my gunshot wound which will likely make a dope scar,” Jake finished with a laugh.

“Well, just don’t do anything stupid,” Amy pleaded slightly.

Jake chuckled. “Don’t worry; I’m just laying here, waiting for you to come home.”

Amy couldn’t fight the smile gracing her face. “I just wanted to let you know that the cat is already out of the bag. Apparently my poker face is not great.”

“Huh?”

“Everyone knows about us.”

Jake laughed. “What? Did you go in bragging?”

Amy scoffed. “Rude. No, Gina just figured it out.” She paused. “I’m sorry.”

“Do you think I’m mad?” Jake asked.

“I don’t know. We haven’t exactly talked about a lot more than feelings,” Amy reminded him.

“True,” Jake conceded. “But I would have told Charles and he’d have told everyone in about a minute flat anyway, so...” Jake paused. “Oh I already have a text from him. In all caps, it says ‘I can’t believe you’re finally together with Amy. I’m so happy for you and I love you.’ So overall not as bad as I might have expected,” Jake joked.

Amy laughed. “Well then I’m glad I called you and gave you a heads up.”

“If it’s weird, you could always just come home.”

Amy smiled. “Nice try.” She looked back toward the bullpen. “I should go. I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay,” Jake replied. “Oh and Amy?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Amy could have swooned. “I love you, too.” They both hung up and Amy walked back to her desk with a stupidly big smile still on her face, but she couldn’t shake it. She was so happy. It was amazing the difference a day made.

Suddenly, Rosa sat down in the chair next to her desk. “Listen, I didn’t want to say this in front of the others, and if you tell anyone I told you this, I’ll wait till your baby is here and then I’ll kill you,” she began. Amy gaped at her, horrified by her lead in. “But you look really happy. And I want you to know that I’m really happy for you that everything seems to be working out with Jake.”

Amy was truly touched. She couldn’t believe Rosa was being so candid. “Thank you, Rosa. That’s very kind of you. I am really happy.”

“You tell Jake though, that the promise I made still stands. I’ll kick his ass if he does anything to hurt you,” Rosa insisted.

Amy laughed. “I’ll make sure to pass that on. Thanks.” Rosa nodded and walked back to her desk.

Amy turned back to her desk, ready to get back to work. She didn’t think her day could get any better. And that was when she felt it. For the first time, the baby kicked.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone else shocked that this is 9 chapters in and we have no signs of an end yet? Just me?  
> Anyway, thanks so so much for all the support for this fic! It makes me so happy to see how much you guys enjoy it!


	10. Boy or Girl?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update this fic! I've been in a real funk when it came to writing. So make sure you tell me if you like this chapter and encourage me to keep going! 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like it!

Jake was sitting on the couch, watching television when Amy got home from work. He looked up, happy to see her again. Was it embarrassing how much he’d wished she’d been there during the day? Sure, but he had no regrets. He’d spent months waiting for something to happen with Amy and now it finally was. She walked behind the couch and leaned down to kiss him quickly on her way back to change her clothes. She kissed him like it was already a habit, just a normal thing to do. And Jake loved it. He jumped up and followed her into the bedroom, sitting down on their bed.

“So how are you feeling?” she asked, turning to look at him as she changed.

Jake shrugged his good shoulder. “Eh, I’m fine. What about you?”

Amy pulled a t-shirt down over her bump, rubbing her hand across it with a small smile on her face. She looked up at Jake with the happiest expression as she walked closer to the bed. “I’m pretty great. I felt the baby kick today.”

Jake gaped at her. He looked down at her belly and then back at her about five times. “Really? The baby’s kicking?”

“Well not right now, but yeah,” Amy admitted happily.

Jake stepped down off the bed and bent to eye level with Amy’s bump. He reached out and ran his hand across her stomach. “The baby’s moving? That’s great.” He stood up, looking thoughtful. “Although,” he said, a change in his tone, “I’m a little mad at the baby.”

Amy stared at him disbelievingly. “What?”

“I mean, we live together. And we work directly across from each other. We basically spend all day every day together. And yet, the baby chooses to kick for the first time on the _one_ day I’m actually not there? How rude of the baby!”

Amy laughed out loud, reaching forward and grabbing Jake’s good shoulder. “I’m sure he or she didn’t do it on purpose. He or she would never purposefully offend his or her dad.” Amy made a pained face. “Man, we really need to find out the gender so I can stop saying it that way.”

Jake chuckled, staring at her stomach again. “Yeah, I just want to know already!” He leaned closer to her bump. “Are you a boy or a girl? Daddy just wants to know what to call you!”

Amy smirked, reaching down and running her fingers through his hair. It was a peaceful moment, the two of them absorbed in their unborn child. Jake looked up at Amy, a look of awe on his face that was usually there when they were discussing the baby. It was still baffling to him that he was going to have a baby. Even more baffling that it was with Amy. But he was the happiest he’d ever been, gunshot wound and all. He had already been pretty happy just expecting the baby. The last 24 hours had changed things to make him happier than he could imagine.

Jake stood up, leaning in to kiss Amy quickly. “So when is your next appointment?” he asked, pulling her into his arms.

“Next Thursday,” she informed him as she wrapped her arms around him.

“Good. I can’t wait much longer,” Jake sighed, laying a kiss in Amy’s hair. “And you’ll tell me the next time the baby kicks?”

Jake felt Amy laugh against his neck. “Yes, of course I will.”

It was only a couple hours later into the evening when Jake was sitting on the couch as Amy showered. “Jake!” she yelled from the bathroom. There was an urgency in her voice that got Jake moving off the couch in record speeds. He sprinted down the hall and threw open the bathroom door quickly.

“What’s wrong?” Jake asked with a panicked tone.

Amy pulled back the shower curtain with the shower still running and a look of awe on her face. Jake stared at her in confusion. “The baby’s kicking!” Jake was rooted to the spot, confused by the fact that she wasn’t hurt. He stared at her, completely naked and dripping wet as she stood in the shower. It took a second for him to realize what she was saying. “You told me to let you know the next time the baby was kicking and now it’s happening.”

Jake shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts, and ignore Amy’s naked body. He walked closer to the shower. “Is the baby still kicking?” he asked as he approached her. Amy nodded happily, taking his hand and laying it on her wet stomach. He felt the softest little bump against his hand through her stomach. Tears were forming in his eyes against his will. Jake felt overcome by emotion, feeling like he was connecting with his child for the first time. He stared at Amy’s belly as he attempted to process all that he was feeling.

Suddenly, he felt Amy’s wet hand reach up and touch his cheek. “You doing okay?” she asked kindly.

He tore his eyes away from her belly and looked up at her. “Yeah. It’s just…awesome.”

Amy smiled largely, laying her hand over Jake’s, though the baby had stopped kicking. “Yeah, it is pretty awesome.”

Jake walked back to the door, prepared to let Amy finish showering. “Thanks for calling me in, Ames.” Amy nodded in reply, blowing Jake a kiss as she closed the curtain again.

^^

Amy’s next appointment arrived shortly after Jake was able to get rid of the sling. Amy was sitting on the table, patiently waiting for the doctor’s arrival. Jake, on the other hand, was bouncing on the balls of his feet beside Amy. “So what do you want it to be?” Amy asked, attempting to distract Jake.

Jake looked over at her with a meaningful expression. “Healthy,” he said pointedly.

Amy smirked. “I mean, I know that. But come on, don’t you have a preference?”

Jake stopped bouncing, looking at Amy with a serious look. “Six months ago I figured there was no way that I’d have a kid any time soon. And now that I am, I don’t care which gender our baby is, I’m just excited that we’re having one at all.” He stared at Amy for emphasis. “I’m not going to love our baby any less if it’s a boy.”

Amy grinned deviously. “Does that mean you want it to be a girl?”

Jake sputtered. “What? No. I never said that.”

Amy was about to reply when the doctor walked in. “Okay, who’s ready to find out the gender?”

Jake raised his hand partially. “I certainly am.”

The doctor smiled kindly as she sat down on her stool, ready to begin the appointment. They did all the routine procedures for the appointment, making sure both Amy and the baby were doing well. Finding out the gender was the last thing to do.

Jake leaned down and grabbed Amy’s hand as the doctor prepared to tell them. Amy squeezed his hand tightly, more than ready to find out what they were having. “Now, are you wanting to find out here, or should I write it on a sealed envelope to give to you to give to a baker or something?”

“No,” Jake insisted. “We’re finding out here.”

Amy laughed at Jake’s insistence. “We’ve been ready to know for a while now.”

The doctor nodded knowingly. “I believe it. So let’s see.” She moved the ultrasound wand around on Amy’s stomach, trying to find the right angle on the baby. Suddenly, she paused her movements, clicking some keys on the computer and freezing the image there. She turned to Jake and Amy, a smile on her face. “It’s a girl.”

“It’s a girl?” Amy and Jake asked in unison. The doctor nodded her confirmation.

“Yes!” Jake cheered.

Amy looked at him accusingly, “I thought you didn’t have a preference…”

Jake smirked at her, shaking his head. “I honestly didn’t. But in my head, she was a girl. I don’t know why.” Jake and Amy smiled at each other before turning back to the screen, watching their daughter.

^^

Jake and Amy were sitting on the couch, having a rare day where they were both off. The TV was on, but neither of them were really paying attention to it. Jake was looking at the list they’d made on his phone of things that had to be done before the baby came. Amy was kissing her way down Jake’s neck in a very distracting manner. Amy had begun to suck at a certain spot on Jake’s neck when he gasped. “Oh God,” he said, “I just realized something.”

“That I’m trying to make out with you for a reason?” Amy asked, annoyed.

Jake shook his head. “No, it’s not that.” Amy huffed next to him. “I realized that we’re gonna have to move.”

“Why’s that?” Amy asked, clearly not wanting to be talking at the moment.

Jake looked over at her, motioning to the apartment around them. “This apartment only has one bedroom. And while the baby will have to sleep in our room for a while, eventually she’s gonna need her own room. Which means we’ll need a bigger apartment.”

Amy sighed. “I think you’re right. Ugh, I hate that I just said that.”

Jake laughed. “It was really good to hear. But I mean, you know I am right on this point.”

“I guess we should try to see if we can find an acceptable place before she gets here,” Amy conceded.

“That would probably be smart,” Jake replied regretfully, already dreading packing up two apartments.

Amy nodded. “Well it’s not like we’re gonna go look right now and you have an extremely pent up pregnant girlfriend, so is there anything else you’d like to talk my ear off about?” Amy asked impatiently.

Jake gaped at her. “Damn. Horny you is mean.” Amy stared at him with a blank expression. “But the good news is I’m into it, so…” Jake leaned forward and kissed Amy and it wasn’t long before she was pushing him back against the couch and climbing on top of him.

^^

About a month had passed since Jake and Amy had discovered they were having a girl and had decided to move into a new apartment together. Amy was entering her final trimester and Jake was starting to hover. He knew he was doing it, but he couldn’t help it. The baby was growing and so was Amy’s stomach. And Jake felt helpless except for when he did basically everything for her. He knew it irritated Amy, but he wanted to do something. They’d put off setting up a nursery because they were in the process of packing up the apartment. That meant there wasn’t even much for Jake even to be doing at home. So he hovered and made sure he could take care of Amy whenever she needed him. Until one day, something made him stop.

Jake was in the break room when he received a text from the last person in the world he expected. He didn’t even have the number saved, so if he hadn’t said who it was, Jake wouldn’t have known. But sure enough, his dad was texting him, letting him know he’d be in town. Jake looked around at the others in the break room. Gina was on her phone, as expected. Terry was eating yogurt. Scully was asleep on the couch. Everyone else was having a normal day. Jake thought about walking out of the room and telling Amy that his dad was getting in touch with him. But when he saw Amy stand up at her desk, he saw her protruding belly and he realized he didn’t want his father anywhere near his little girl. So he kept the news to himself, unsure of how to go about things.

Jake laid awake that night, a million emotions washing over him in a never ending tide. He doubted his father’s intentions for coming. He questioned keeping his father’s appearance a secret from Amy. Jake laid there thinking about the last time he’d even seen his dad. The worst part was he couldn’t remember it. Amy rolled over in her sleep and her bump was facing Jake. He gently laid a hand on her belly, hoping his child could give him some tips on what to do. The longer he laid awake, the worse it all became. He started to doubt even himself.

The doubts he’d pushed away months earlier about his abilities to be a good father came screaming back. Maybe he wasn’t fit to be a father. His had left when he was only seven years old. Jake still didn’t know the actual reason he left. What if it was some genetic reason that would just spring up on Jake without warning? What if his dad had started out as a good guy like Jake considered himself now? Was Jake capable of deserting Amy and their daughter? He didn’t think so, but surely Roger had thought the same thing at one point, right?. His doubts were largely irrational, but Jake was past all rational thought. He was going down a rabbit hole.

When Amy’s alarm went off, Jake wasn’t sure he’d gotten even a wink of sleep that night. Now he would have to go into work and he’d have to face his dad for the first time in twenty years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have really appreciated all the love for this fic! It blows me away how much y'all seem to enjoy it! I appreciate those of you who keep finding me on tumblr and guilt me into updating! Keep it coming! 
> 
> Also, I'd like to state for the record that I had planned for the baby to be a girl before it was announced that Andy has a daughter!


	11. Long Time No See

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, I don't know how I almost went a month without updating this! My bad guys! I hope this chapter makes up for it.

Jake started the day quieter than usual. He hoped Amy thought he was just tired. When they were getting ready for work, he made some grand statement about how he couldn’t sleep at all. It was, in fact, true, but he was making it to cover up any weird behaviors he might exhibit during the day.

Jake sat at his desk, working on his case, his anxiety reaching new levels as he waited for a text from his dad saying he was there. They made it through lunch, Jake pretending he was just a bit tired. He could have sworn several times he got a look from Amy as she tried to determine what could be wrong. But she never pressed the issue, thankfully.

It was around 5:00 when Jake’s phone buzzed on his desk. Jake quickly reached down for it, his hand shaking slightly. There was a text from his dad telling him, as Jake had requested, that he was in the lobby. Jake stood up from his desk quickly, hoping his dad would follow his directions and wait for him downstairs. Without so much as a word to anyone, he sprinted to the stairs and tore down to the first floor.

Slightly out of breath, he spotted his dad for the first time since he was a child. It was a very conflicting moment. Part of him was happy to see his dad after so long. There was the tiny voice in his head wondering if his dad was changing his ways. Then the more rational part of Jake reminded him that his dad was the worst and he just had to put up with him likely for a few hours.

“Dad?” Jake asked, catching his breath.

Roger turned toward him with a smile on his face. “Jake! Oh it’s so good to see you. It’s been too long.”

“Yeah,” Jake replied, biting back the comment about how it was Roger’s fault that it had been so long. “So what brings you to town? I was surprised you were going to be here.”

Roger clapped him on the shoulder. “Well I have a layover here and I didn’t want to miss the chance to see my boy.”

Jake nodded, feeling skeptical. He shrugged it off, plastering on a smile to match his dad’s. “So would you like to see where I work?” Jake asked. He couldn’t fight the part of him that wanted his dad’s approval. He hadn’t seen him in over twenty years, but he still needed to show his dad what a good job he was doing. Roger nodded enthusiastically and followed Jake to the elevator.

Jake bounced on the balls of his feet as they rode up to the fourth floor. He was hoping that everyone would keep their reactions to themselves until Roger had left. Jake was almost positive that Amy would be at least hurt that he didn’t mention anything. He was doing his best to keep his mind off how Amy would feel. Thinking about Amy led to thinking about the baby, and after the spiraling Jake did the night before, he didn’t need to think about that.

Finally the elevator dinged as the doors opened on the fourth floor. Jake noted happily that no one immediately looked up from their desks. He lazily pointed out various parts of the bullpen to his dad as he walked slowly toward his desk. “And uh, this is my desk,” Jake announced. Amy looked up with a curious glance, but Jake turned his head back toward his dad.

“Nice,” Roger commented. He stepped closer to Jake, lowering his voice. “I wouldn’t hate sitting across from that if I were you,” he said with a laugh. Jake felt his stomach turning. “Think she’d want to come out for drinks with me? Maybe you could introduce us.”

Jake tried to force a laugh but he was pretty positive it sounded nothing like it. He cleared his throat as they stepped closer to Amy’s desk. “Uh, Amy,” Jake started. Amy looked back up at him, jumping out of her seat and revealing her baby bump. Jake could hear his dad release a disappointed groan next to him. He balled his hands into fists, resisting the urge to punch him. “Amy, this is my dad,” Jake introduced.

Amy reached out and shook his hand with a smile before looking at Jake with wide eyes. “Dad, this is my partner, Amy.” Jake looked at his dad so he could miss the inevitable questioning look from Amy.

“Well, Amy, it’s nice to meet you,” Roger said with a gross smile. “So you’re pregnant, huh?”

Amy ran a hand over her belly with a thoughtful smile. “Yeah,” she said, looking to Jake.

“Yep, she and her husband are super excited,” Jake lied, hoping to keep his father as far from the truth as possible. Terry was walking out of Captain Holt’s office at the perfect time. “Terry,” Jake all but yelled. “Meet my dad!” Jake avoided Amy’s eye contact as Terry and his dad awkwardly introduced themselves. “Well I’m gonna give my dad a tour of the precinct,” Jake announced. He swiftly directed his dad away from the bullpen, and by extension, his unborn child.

^^

Amy attempted to keep her fuming to herself. She had no idea what was going on with Jake. Before she’d even gotten the chance to talk to him about it, he’d left with his dad. Amy tried to distract herself from wondering what could be going on with him, but she was not very successful. It didn’t help when the others asked her about it.

“So Jake’s dad is in town?” Charles questioned Amy as soon as she walked into the break room.

They clearly expected her to know about it. Amy could play the part. “Um, yeah. Crazy, right?”

“Well, after you get done at dinner with Jake and his dad, you guys should totally come to Shaw’s and tell us all about it,” Charles insisted. “I want to know everything. I don’t feel like he’s here with good intentions.”

“Dinner with Jake and his dad, yeah, we’ll uh, have to stop by,” Amy lied. She wasn’t even invited to dinner with his dad, though apparently Charles knew about it. Amy’s anger levels continued to soar. “Hopefully you guys will still be there once we get finished. Anyway, I should go…meet them.”

Amy walked back to her desk and grabbed her things. She wondered out loud to herself the whole way back to her apartment. Why would Jake not even tell her that his dad was coming? Did he know ahead of time? And why did he introduce her as just his partner? And then claim that she was married and she and some fake husband were thrilled about the baby? Why would he spout so many lies in a matter of minutes? Was she not enough? Was he not happy? Was it even about her?

Amy was so caught up in her own head that she nearly missed the package waiting at her door. She didn’t remember ordering anything but as she bent down and picked it up, her name was on the package. Amy opened the door and sat the mail on the kitchen table as she opened the mysterious package. The contents inside were enough to distract her from her fury for a moment. She turned over the opened package and two onesies fell out. Both were decorated similarly. The front was styled to look like a cop uniform and across the first one read “Mommy’s Little Rookie.” She sat it down on the table and looked at the second onesie. It looked the same except it said “Daddy’s Little Rookie.” Amy smiled as she stared at the onesies. Jake must have ordered them because she’d never seen them before. She rubbed her hand over her belly, happily forgetting her troubles for a moment. Amy put them back in the package and then into her purse. She had to take them to work to show their friends what Jake bought.

Sure enough, after she changed her clothes and sat down on her couch alone, her troubles came back to her. She remembered why she’d been so angry before she’d seen the onesies. She still hadn’t heard from Jake and still didn’t know why he’d acted so strangely. Amy did her best to forget about it. He’d come home and she could question him about it then. No reason to stress herself out until she could get some answers.

But soon it grew late and Jake still wasn’t home. Despite herself, Amy started to get worried. She hadn’t heard from Jake since he’d left the precinct for a dinner she didn’t even know he was having. And now it was late and he still wasn’t home. Against her best judgment, Amy called Charles.

“Hey, Charles,” Amy greeted when he answered. “So who’s at the bar?” Amy asked evasively, knowing they expected her to be with Jake.

“Uh, it’s just me, Rosa, and Gina,” he informed. “Are you guys coming by?” Amy knew he’d mention it if Jake was there. She didn’t want to lie to him, but she wanted to get to the bottom of things.

“I’m pretty tired,” Amy lied, “I don’t know if Jake will stop by though. I think he’s thinking about it.”

“Oh I hope he does,” Charles said happily.

“Well, I gotta go. Bye, Charles,” Amy ended hastily. He was probably going to think it was weird that Amy called to see who was there and then wasn’t going by, but she could at least eliminate one place.

Amy tried to think of where Jake would go if he was upset. She debated calling every place he’d go to see if he was there. But before she could look up the number for Tony’s, another thought struck her. Amy threw on shoes, grabbed her purse, and ran out the door. It had been several months since the last time she’d been there. Amy ran up the stairs, stopping the door from closing after a delivery man. She walked up the familiar flight of stairs until she stood in front of Jake’s door. The last time she’d stood there, she was preparing to tell Jake that she was carrying his child. And then of course, Sophia had answered. Amy didn’t know how she hadn’t been to Jake’s apartment since then. But a lot had changed in that time. She only hoped that there wasn’t a lot that had changed since the last time she’d seen Jake.

She knocked gently on the door, not having to wait long until it was opened. Jake stared at her in surprise. “Amy,” he breathed. Amy could smell the alcohol on his breath.

“Hey,” she replied.

“What are you-” he started.

“Well you didn’t come home so I got worried,” Amy explained. And then her fury returned. “Which was odd to start with, and then coupled with the fact that you were with your dad who you didn’t even bother to tell me was coming to town. And then there was the whole fact that you introduced me to your dad as just your partner. Not your girlfriend, not the mother of your child, just your partner. And then you told Charles about having dinner with your dad, but not me. You also didn’t even invite me. But I guess it would be weird to invite your _partner_ to dinner with your dad, wouldn’t it?” She figured she got everything off her chest.

Jake stared at her with a mixture of shock and guilt on his face. “I’m sorry.”

“Why didn’t you come home?” Amy demanded, walking into his apartment.

Jake closed the door behind her and sat down on the side of his couch with a sigh. “Honestly? Because I was ashamed of myself.” Suddenly Amy felt her fury leave her. She could see the devastation on Jake’s face. “I should have handled things differently. And I knew that I was being stupid about it, but I did it anyway.” Amy nodded, knowing there was likely more to come. “I just couldn’t tell him.”

“And since I’m showing, you couldn’t introduce me as your girlfriend without him knowing you were having a baby,” Amy concluded.  Jake nodded sadly.

He hung his head in his hands. “The reason I couldn’t sleep last night was because I knew he was coming. And it made me think about everything. And what I’ll be like as a father. Suddenly all those fears that I thought we put to bed months ago came back. I just didn’t want him to know. If I heard him say that he was going to be a grandfather when he wasn’t even a father to me, I was going to lose it.” Amy scooched closer to the end of the couch where Jake was sitting. She ran her hand up and down his back. “And do you know the first thing he said when he saw you?”

“What was it?” Amy asked, preparing herself for something horrible.

“He wanted me to introduce you because he wanted to get drinks with you. Like you were just some…” Jake trailed off, shaking his head in anger.

Amy fought a shiver of disgust as she tried to comfort Jake. “You know, even if I was single and not pregnant, I would never go for your dad.”

Jake chuckled. “Thanks, that means a lot.” Amy saw him reach up and wipe a tear off his face. “Look, I’m sorry I was such a jackass. I should have handled things completely different. And I should have come home. I was just so ashamed, I couldn’t face you. And I knew you had to be mad at me, so I was trying to avoid piling your hatred onto my self-hatred.”

Amy stood up, positioning herself in front of Jake. She put her hands on the sides of his face and moved his head so he looked at her. “Okay, first, I do not hate you. Not at all. I was a bit offended but that was because I didn’t know what was going on. And second, we all do things that are stupid sometimes. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m sure it was a complete shock that your dad was going to be here.” Jake nodded. “We had some weirdness for one day. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Jake reached up and placed a hand over Amy’s on his face. “Thanks, Ames.” Jake laughed, squeezing her hand. “You know, if baby girl ever misses her curfew, you’re gonna be great at tracking her down and bringing her ass home.” Amy laughed. “Because you’re gonna be a great mom,” Jake said, looking at her fondly. She knew what laid beneath that statement though. It was his fear that he wouldn’t be a good father.

Amy lowered her hands and took both of his in hers. She squeezed his hands hard. “Jake, you are going to be a great dad.”

A look of sadness crossed his face. “What makes you think that? I mean how can you be sure?”

“How can you be sure I’m going to be a good mom?” Amy reasoned. “We don’t know. But you know the parts of me that you think will make me a good mom. And I know the parts of you that are going to make you a great dad. She is going to have so much fun with you. And you are going to teach her so much.”

“Or I could be a terrible dad who never goes to anything and misses every important part of my child’s life,” Jake argued.

“Jake, she isn’t even here yet and you’ve been there for everything. You go to every ultrasound with me. And you helped me register for everything. You read every book you could get your hands on about parenting. You are so invested in this pregnancy and in our child that it seems genuinely crazy to me that you think you’re going to be a bad dad,” Amy insisted.

Tears swam in Jake’s eyes. “I’m sure my mom thought the same thing about my dad. And then he cheated on her and then he left.”

“Jake would you ever cheat on me?” Amy asked.

“God no,” Jake answered.

“And do you ever see yourself turning your back on me and our child and just leaving?” Amy continued.

Jake stared at her for a moment. “Of course not.”

“Then I don’t get why you’re so worried that you’re going to be like your dad. You are nothing like your dad. You have never treated me like something to do on a layover. You’ve supported me through every step of this pregnancy that you’ve known about. So what is it that makes you think you’re going to suddenly turn into this terrible person?”

“I don’t know, Amy,” Jake admitted. “I know it doesn’t make sense. I think I’m just scared that since my dad was crappy, that’s the only example I have. I don’t want to be the person who leaves when things get hard.”

“You’re not,” Amy maintained.

“I have been,” Jake reminded her. “When we slept together the first time, rather than facing you and your potential rejection, I just went back to Sophia.”

Amy sat down next to Jake, pulling his arm so he would look at her. “Well if I hadn’t run from things first, you wouldn’t have had that opportunity.” Jake stared down at his feet. “Do you remember when I wouldn’t talk to you for weeks and then the first time I did I just dropped the bomb that I was pregnant?” Jake nodded his head, still not looking at her. “That was a hard moment, but you didn’t run from that. You chased after me and yelled at me for telling you the way I did. And from that moment on, you’ve been in this pregnancy with me. You were there in the middle of the night when I was freaking out. You were there even when I said I didn’t want to be together. You were there through telling my parents as they grilled you. You don’t run from the hard stuff, Jake.”

Jake nodded, wiping tears from his eyes. He looked over at Amy. “I love her so much already. I just never want to make her feel the way that my dad makes me feel. I guess I’m just scared that I’m not even going to know it’s happening until it’s already happened.”

“Well you know, there’s one thing that you have that your dad didn’t have,” Amy reminded him.

“What’s that?”

“Me,” Amy said with a grin. Jake chuckled. “And I’m not going to let you turn into your dad. I mean, I don’t think it’s possible that you will, but I also won’t let it happen. I promise.”

Jake leaned over and kissed the side of her head. “I’m gonna hold you to that.”

“You know, I think you’re already a better dad than your dad was. For one, I don’t think your dad ever would have bought something like this,” Amy said, pulling the package of onesies out of her purse.

Jake laughed, grabbing them from her. “They came?” he asked excitedly.

“Yeah! Sorry if they were supposed to be a surprise,” Amy apologized. “It had my name on it.”

He shook his head. “No worries,” he said absentmindedly. He was staring at them in his hands. “They’re perfect,” he breathed. Amy leaned over, laying her head on his shoulder. Jake’s head rested on hers. “I’m sorry about today, Ames.”

Amy turned her head and kissed his shoulder. “You’re forgiven.” They sat there for a moment in silence. “Fair warning though, Charles, Gina, and Rosa are going to want to know what happened with your dad. And I think they expect me to know.”

“Well, you’re the only one I’d admit it to,” Jake said sadly. He picked his head up and looked at Amy. “He got picked up on drug charges in Canada. He wants me to get him cleared.”

“What?” Amy shrieked.

Jake nodded sadly. “Yeah, I told him he could go to hell.”

Amy gaped at him. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Jake admitted. “I figured working a case would make him be here longer and the longer he was around meant the more chances he’d find out about the baby and think he got to be involved. So I said no.”

Amy beamed at him. “I’m really proud of you. I’m sure that couldn’t have been easy.”

Jake shrugged. “The harder part was not having you there.”

Amy ran her hand along Jake’s back. “Well I’m here now.”

“I mean, we can go home,” Jake offered.

Amy looked around Jake’s apartment. “Or…we could pack some things up. You do need to be vacating this soon.”

“Seriously?” Jake whined. “Gina is my landlord. I’ll have plenty of time. Can’t we just chill?” Amy stared at Jake pointedly. “I’m guessing that’s a no.”

“Won’t it be better to have at least some of it done?” Amy reasoned.

Jake rolled his eyes with a huff. “I guess.”

They got more packing done than Amy would have expected, given that Jake was packing begrudgingly the whole time. There were a couple of fights about things Amy thought clearly needed to be tossed, but Jake was insistent to keep. Amy felt happy with their progress by the time she felt too tired to continue.

They were getting ready for bed when Amy realized something with a laugh. “The last time I was in this apartment was the night I got pregnant,” she announced, rubbing her hand over her belly.

Jake stared at her thoughtfully from the other side of the bed. “Huh. I guess so,” he said, pulling back the covers and climbing into bed. “Hopefully tomorrow you’ll still be here when I wake up.”

Amy scoffed. “Rude.” They both laughed as they got comfortable in the bed.

It was around an hour later when Amy turned over, shaking Jake. “Jake,” she called. “Jake!”

“Hmm?” he asked sleepily, not opening his eyes.

“I’m going back to my apartment,” she told him. “Your bed is horrendously uncomfortable and with the baby pushing a foot against my spine, I just can’t get comfortable.”

“Okay. I’m sorry,” Jake replied.

Amy leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “Don’t be sorry. I’ll see you at work.” Getting out of bed, she grabbed her purse and left to go back to her apartment. She slapped herself a couple of times across the face to wake herself up a little. Despite not being able to sleep, she was still exhausted. Amy was back in her own bed and finally comfortable when she heard the door open and close followed by the familiar shuffle of Jake’s feet on the way back to the bedroom. “What are you doing here?” she asked as he walked in the room.

He climbed in next to her, wrapping one arm around her ever-growing belly. He sighed sleepily. “I don’t like sleeping without you anymore.”

Amy laid her arm over his, squeezing his hand in hers, falling asleep with the biggest smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please let me know what you think! I am hoping that I'll be a bit more prompt with the next chapter. I'm expecting about two or three more chapters for this fic! 
> 
> I just want to say a big thank you for all the comments and kudos and just overall love for this fic. It makes me so happy that people are enjoying it! Please feel free to come scream at me about it on tumblr!


	12. Shower Me With Love

Amy was unpacking boxes in their new apartment when Jake sat down next to her with a sigh. “What's wrong with our friends?” 

Amy looked at him, confused. “What do you mean?” 

“Well next week you'll be in your eighth month of this pregnancy and none of them have even mentioned a baby shower,” Jake explained. “I mean isn't that pretty common? Isn't it your friends who throw them for you?” 

Amy laughed. “How are you the one stressing about this and not me?” 

“I keep watching our registry and nothing has been purchased. I don't know if you know this Ames, but we don't make a ton of money,” Jake reminded her. “I just expected that we’d be gifted some of this stuff, you know?” 

“Well, Kylie has been really busy since she got back from Ireland,” Amy commented. “I don't know if she'll have the time to throw one.” 

“But what about our mutual friends at work?” Jake asked. “I mean I don't want to sound greedy, but come on. They all seemed so excited we were having a baby.” 

“Jake, don't worry about it,” Amy offered. “She will be fine whether our friends throw us a shower or not.” 

It was a few days later when Amy walked into the break room to get herself more tea. Jake was getting something from the vending machine and Gina was sitting at the table. “Hey, you two,” Gina nearly cooed. Amy turned around and looked at her suspiciously. “So do you expect us to throw you a baby shower?” 

Amy looked over at Jake covertly. Both of them kept their faces straight, but Amy knew Jake had to be dying to say something. “Not at all,” Amy basically lied. “We don't expect anyone to do anything for us.” Jake nodded next to her, clearly waiting to see where this was going. 

Gina sighed. “Oh thank God!” She jumped up and walked to the door. “Rosa, we’re off the hook! We don't have to do anything!” 

“Thank God!” Amy could hear Rosa yell from the bullpen. 

Amy felt a bit deflated. She was hoping her friends cared enough to throw her one. Without a doubt, if Rosa or Gina were pregnant, Amy would throw one for them. “Well good,” Amy replied half-heartedly. Amy walked back to her desk and sat down, flashing a disappointed glance at Jake, sitting down across from her. For all her chiding of him to not expect it, she’d kind of expected it. Amy spent the rest of the day working and attempting to take her mind off her disappointment. She could tell Jake was trying (and failing in her eyes) to hide his sadness over Gina and Rosa’s joy to  _ not _ throw a shower. 

They were all getting ready to leave for the night when Gina told everyone they had to go bar. Jake stood up, putting his bag on his shoulder. “I don't think so. I mean, that's not fair to Amy.” 

Gina scoffed. “Come on, everyone loves it when I demand we all go out. I mean, Jacob, you and Amy wouldn't even be together if I hadn't forced everyone to go out one fateful night, eight months ago.” 

Amy laughed, shrugging. “I guess we’ll go for a bit. Since we moved, we haven't really hung out with the gang,” Amy reminded Jake. He looked a bit pained but nodded along, gesturing Amy toward the elevator. They stepped on the elevator, holding the door for Gina and the others. 

Gina waved them off. “Gonna take the stairs.” 

Amy stared at them. “All of you?” 

“Yep!” Gina yelled, from around the corner. 

Amy and Jake looked at each other with confused expressions, but let the doors close nonetheless. They didn't see the rest of the group before they got to Shaw’s. Jake and Amy walked down the stairs, surprised to find the bar mostly empty. 

“Surprise!” Echoed from a crowded corner of the bar. Amy and Jake wheeled around to see their friends, their moms, and Kylie. Amy’s sisters-in-law were even there. Displayed on the wall was a banner reading “It’s a Girl!” Amy laughed through the tears leaking out of her eyes. She grabbed Jake’s hand. 

“What is this?” Amy gasped. Jake looked as dumbfounded as she felt. 

“Did you really think we wouldn't throw you a baby shower?” Rosa asked with a deadpan expression. 

“You certainly made it seem like you weren't going to,” Jake confessed. Amy nodded in agreement. 

“We were throwing you off the scent, dummies,” Gina said with a grand laugh. “Honestly, the most challenging part of it all was making sure Charles didn't tell.” 

Amy and Jake laughed as Charles nodded. “Hardest month of my life. But I did it! I kept the secret!” 

“Good job, Charles!” Terry cheered, high fiving him. 

Amy looked around at the bar covered in pink decorations. “I think this is the weirdest place for a baby shower ever. But somehow it's perfect.” 

“Sorry that it's all pink,” Rosa commented. “Gina and I wanted to mix in more colors, but Charles threw out anything that wasn't pink.” 

Charles shrugged. “It's a girl.” 

Jake shook his head and laughed. “It's great. You guys are so kind.” 

Amy walked over to greet everyone who’d come to celebrate her and her growing family. She hugged her mother and Jake’s mother before walking over to Kylie. “I thought you were too busy.” 

Kylie grinned smugly. “That was a lie because I knew this was already happening. You know I’d have thrown you one otherwise.” 

Amy hugged her friend. “You’re too good a liar.” 

They somehow managed to talk to everyone who came to the surprise baby shower. Jake pulled Amy aside before they sat down to open presents. “Okay, you were right. I’d like to take back all my whining.” 

Amy laughed, laying her hand on the side of Jake’s neck. She leaned in and kissed him quickly. “I had my doubts too. They’re good liars.” 

“Way too good,” Jake agreed with a laugh. 

Amy and Jake sat down in front of all their friends and opened the many, many gifts from them. They were both blown away by everyone’s generosity. Terry seemed to tell the squad the most helpful gifts to give. Jake kept yelling and cheering over the gifts they opened. It was adorable. He was so excited for everything for the baby. Amy couldn't help but smile at his joy. 

That night, Amy and Jake put all the gifts for their baby girl in the room they’d designated as the nursery. Amy stood in the doorway, running a hand over her belly as she watched Jake excitedly look through all the gifts again. She smiled as she wondered for easily the hundredth time how this was her life now. 

^^ 

Spending the day in court seemed like quite possibly the worst possible thing while being eight months pregnant. There was absolutely nothing comfortable about the benches in the courtrooms. Amy hadn't even testified yet and she was miserable. No matter how she tried to shift, she was always uncomfortable. The baby was sitting on her bladder, making Amy pray for a recess so she could run to the bathroom. 

Thankfully, the judge called a recess and Amy sprinted from the room. She held in her sigh of relief as she finished peeing. Amy left the stall to find she wasn't alone in the bathroom. As she washed her hands, she looked up to see that the woman standing at the sink with her was none other than Sophia Perez. Sophia Perez, her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. Sophia Perez, who Amy hadn't seen since the night Amy told Jake she was carrying his child. Amy almost hoped Sophia wouldn't look over to see it was her. She looked back down at the sink as she finished washing her hands. Turning to dry them, she thought she was going to get out of there without an interaction. But she was wrong. 

“Amy?” Sophia asked disbelievingly. 

Amy turned back to her. “Sophia!” She replied. “Wow, how’ve you been?” 

Sophia nodded. “I’ve been good! How about you?” Sophia looked down, noticing Amy’s very obvious belly. “I’m guessing you’ve been pretty good.” Amy laughed and nodded. “I didn't know you were pregnant. Wait, you are pregnant, right? I didn't just make a massive female faux-pas did I?” 

Amy waved her off. “No,” she laughed. “I’m pregnant. And yeah, I’ve been doing pretty great,” Amy answered, rubbing a hand across her belly. 

“I didn't even realize you were dating someone,” Sophia commented. 

Amy swallowed tensely, trying to delicately talk around the details. “Oh well, I wasn't at the time I got pregnant.” 

“But you are now?” Sophia pried, a smile on her face. Amy could tell she was trying to be kind, not know what dangerous territory she was entering. 

Amy nodded. “It was quite a few months into my pregnancy but, yeah, we ended up getting together.” 

Sophia tilted her head and smiled happily. “Well congratulations,” she said kindly. “You must be so happy.” 

“Thank you,” Amy replied, nodding her head toward Sophia. “It was good to see you.” Sophia agreed before Amy left the bathroom. 

Amy released a second sigh of relief as she got further away from Sophia. She’d managed to get through a conversation without any implication that Jake was the father of her baby. Though they hadn't ever had an affair, Amy didn't want to risk Sophia being mad at Jake over nothing. 

Amy was wandering through the halls of the courthouse, not wanting to sit back down until she had to. As she felt her phone ringing against her leg, Amy dug it out, figuring she had time for a quick call. 

“Hi, Mom,” Amy answered. “I don't have much time, I’m in court today.” Thankfully, it didn't seem like Amy’s mom needed much. She was just rattling off her questions she had for Amy about the baby. Amy sighed at her last question. “Mom, I told you that Jake and I would think about it. But you know, Jake isn't Catholic. I don't know how he’s going to feel about a baptism.” Amy turned back toward the courtroom as her mom argued in favor of a baptism. She, of course, heard none of her mother’s argument because she found herself face to face with Sophia. And from the look on Sophia’s face, it appeared she’d heard Jake’s name mentioned. 

“Jake?” Sophia asked, an accusatory tone dropping from her voice. 

“Mom, I gotta go,” Amy said quickly, hanging up the phone. “Look, Sophia, it’s not what it seems like.” 

“Oh really?” Sophia accused. “So you and Jake didn't have an affair while I was dating him?” 

“Absolutely we did not,” Amy defended. “I promise you, Jake wouldn't do anything like that. And I never would have either.” Sophia still didn't look like she believed her. “It happened after you guys broke up and I didn't know until after you guys were back together.” 

“So then you asked Jake to leave me for the baby?” Sophia wondered aloud.

“ _ No _ !” Amy basically yelled. “No, not at all. I promise. And we weren't together for  _ months _ after you guys broke up again. Look, I know this seems shady, but nothing happened between me and Jake while you two were together. Not either time.” 

Sophia stared at Amy, clearly still not believing her. “I don't know, Amy, I think you might say anything to get Jake off the hook,” Sophia said disgustedly. “Maybe I should get the truth directly from the source.”

“Oh God,” Amy whispered. Sophia turned around and stalked away toward the exit. Amy made to go after her but the lawyer on her case stopped her. “Can I please make a quick call?” 

“Nope, we need you in there  _ now _ ,” he said, steering her toward the courtroom. “They want to get your testimony quickly so they can wrap this up.” 

“Can I at least send a quick text?” Amy pleaded.

“No time,” he replied. 

Amy looked back at Sophia’s disappearing frame with dread. “Crap.” 

^^

Jake looked up at Amy’s empty desk. He figured he’d have to get used to seeing it empty once she went on maternity leave. But for the last several months, she’d basically been at her desk all day every day. He was used to looking up and seeing her hard at work. Jake smiled to himself before looking back at his report. 

“Missing Amy?” Charles crooned. 

Jake rolled his eyes and scoffed. “She’s just in court for the day. I am not  _ that _ lame, okay?” 

Gina laughed from her desk. “Of course you are.” 

Jake shook his head at her with narrowed eyes. “Look, I am just trying to get all my work done, alright? Charles, could you leave me to it?” 

Charles nodded. “I suppose so.” He wandered back to his desk and Jake looked back at his report. His plan for the evening was to work in the nursery. He and Amy still had a lot they needed to get done before the baby came. Amy was getting too far along in her pregnancy to be putting things off any longer. This report was taking Jake longer than usual because he kept thinking about his baby to-do list. Jake shook his head and tried to focus back on his police work. 

“Jake Peralta!” someone yelled across the bullpen. Jake whipped around toward the angry voice. He saw his ex-girlfriend stalking toward him. Jake stood up quickly. “So you knocked up your partner?” Jake gaped at her. “And you just thought you wouldn't tell me?” 

“Uh, hi,” Jake replied awkwardly. He looked around the room to see everyone’s eyes on them. Sophia reached his desk and she was staring at him angrily. 

“I cannot believe you. You cheated on me?” She accused. 

“What? No!” Jake assured. “I would  _ never _ !” Jake looked around as he heard the telltale  _ ding _ that meant Gina was recording the interaction. He turned back to Sophia, “Maybe we could take this somewhere else? Maybe a little less public?” 

“You think I care?” Sophia scoffed. 

“Great, but I work here, so…” Jake reminded her. He stomped off toward the briefing room, knowing she was behind him. Looking around, he noted the other people inside. “Get out,” he called. They looked up at him with shocked faces. “Please,” he recovered. They nodded slowly, leaving their work and closing the doors behind them. Once Sophia was in the room, Jake closed the doors they entered through. 

“I cannot believe you,” Sophia started again. 

Jake sighed. “I never cheated on you. You know enough about me to know I’d never do that.” 

Sophia rolled her eyes. “Then why didn't you tell me about the baby? If you’re so innocent, why didn't you tell me about it?” 

“Because it didn't matter. I didn't break up with you because of the baby,” Jake insisted. Sophia looked at him skeptically. “The day that I broke up with you. I spent all day in court. And then we lost. And I’d put a lot into that case just to lose it. And I knew coming home, I wouldn't be able to complain to my girlfriend about how pissed I was because you’d take  _ their _ side. I told you that you were right when you ended things before. And I meant that.” 

“You still could have told me,” Sophia repeated. 

“I didn't think it mattered.” 

“Of course you didn't. You didn't think I’d care about the truth!” Sophia countered. “Let me remind you of the events of the day that you broke up with me.” She crossed her arms, adopting a full defense attorney stance. “I was at your apartment, waiting for you to come home, cooking you dinner. Amy showed up, seemingly off and looking for you. That should have been a red flag. When I said you weren't there she left. I kept cooking. I looked out the window and I saw you and Amy having what looked like a tense conversation. And then I called down to you, she left, and you came up, said you had to go do something and you left quickly. I waited there for enough time and then you returned and you dumped me.” She stared at Jake. “Is that how you remember it too?” 

Jake rolled his eyes. “I remember you being in my apartment despite the fact that I never gave you a key. Maybe that should have been a red flag…” 

“Oh don't put this on me,” Sophia yelled. “Why don't you just tell me the truth? Tell me what really happened, Jake!” 

Jake sighed. “Okay, it was a while after we broke up. Amy and I were both drunk. Neither of us knew if it meant anything. Before we got the chance to talk about it, you came and told me you wanted to get back together and so I took you up on it. Amy and I basically didn't speak for the whole time we were back together. And then the night she came to my apartment when you were there, she told me she was pregnant,” Jake admitted. He couldn't read Sophia’s face. “I had about a million questions running through my head, so I followed her and talked to her about it. She never asked me to leave you. She wouldn't even let me officially say I wanted to be a part of the baby’s life. I was sent back home to think about it on my own and to talk to you about it. But since I’d already decided before I knew about the baby that I needed to end things between us, I didn't tell you. I didn't think it mattered.” 

Sophia stared at Jake, absorbing every word he said, though Jake couldn't tell if it was helping at all. 

“I know that I should have been more honest with you about things, and I’ll admit I didn't necessarily handle our relationship or the end of it well,” Jake offered, “But I swear I never went outside of our relationship. And I never wanted to hurt you, Sophia.” 

Sophia shook her head at him. “Wow. I’m really glad that all I ever was to you was a distraction from Amy Santiago.” 

Jake gaped at her. “That is not true. If you were only a distraction from Amy, I’d have left you when Teddy outed Amy’s feelings for me on that disastrous double date.” Jake paused. “But as you’ll recall, I didn't. Because you were more than just a distraction. I really cared about our relationship. That's why I fought like hell for it. That is, until  _ you _ decided to end it.” Jake stared at her pointedly. “You said we weren't compatible, that our relationship wasn't sustainable and you were right. It just took me weeks into being back together to see it.” 

Sophia stood there staring at him. She laughed dryly as she shook her head. “You know, I used to think you were a good guy, Jake. I don't know that I can say that anymore.” 

There was a tense silence between them as they stared at each other, both upset by the other. Jake was unsure of how long they stood there glaring at the other before the briefing room door slammed open. 

“Jake! Sophia knows!” Amy yelled as she burst into the room. She took a look at the tense positions each had adopted. “Oh,” she said awkwardly. “Cool,” she whispered. Amy turned back toward the bullpen. “Hey, Gina? You could have mentioned that he wasn't alone when you said that he was in the briefing room.” 

“What fun would that have been?” Gina laughed. 

Amy rolled her eyes. “Sorry, I’ll just go.” 

“No, that's okay, I think Sophia was about to leave anyway,” Jake said pointedly. 

Sophia glared at the both of them. “Jake,” she said sternly.

“Sophia,” Jake replied, seeing her leave the room. 

Amy stepped over to Jake. “I am so sorry.” 

“Yeah, what happened?” Jake asked as the door closed again. 

“I wanted to call you and give you a heads up but they wouldn't let me!” Amy explained. She reached out and grabbed his arms. “Are you okay?” 

“I mean, aside from the public humiliation? I guess,” he joked. Amy stared at him knowingly. “I mean it wasn't great. She said she didn't think I was a good guy anymore.”

Amy smiled at him sadly. “I’m sorry. But, you know, you can't be the good guy in everyone’s story.” 

“Thanks?” Jake asked, wondering where she was going with her point. 

“I mean think about all the criminals you’ve arrested,” Amy continued. “You’re the bad guy in their stories. But who cares? So you’re the bad guy in your ex-girlfriend’s story?” Amy asked with a shrug. “Who would you rather have consider you the good guy, her or us? Think about Charles. You’re absolutely a good guy in his story. And Rosa, and Gina, and Terry. I think the jury’s still out on Captain Holt.” Jake laughed despite himself. Amy smiled at him as she leaned in and wrapped her arms around him. “And you’re 100% the good guy in my story. And wouldn't you think that matters a bit more?” 

Jake looked down at her, thinking through her points. “I guess so. But it still doesn't feel good.” 

“I never said it had to,” Amy replied. She took his hand and laid it on her belly. He could feel their little girl moving around in there. “But there’s someone else who’s gonna think you’re a good guy too.” 

Jake stared down at her stomach with a smile on his face. “Not if we don't get her nursery set up,” he replied pointedly. 

Amy laughed. “We will! You need to calm down.” 

“I’ll be calm when she gets here,” Jake replied. 

Amy scoffed. “Sure you will.” She shook her head as she turned to walk back to the bullpen. “Thinks he’ll be calm with a newborn. Come on,” Amy muttered to herself. 

“You realize I can hear you, right?” Jake asked as he followed her back out to their desks. He sat back down at his desk, looking up and seeing Amy. Suddenly, it felt easier for him to focus on his report. Jake wondered if he was only going to be calm when Amy was around. He ignored the nosy glances of his coworkers as he got back to his report. There were much more promising things to do at home without prying eyes. He just had to finish his work. Jake glanced back up at Amy. She really was great motivation. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for the length between updates. Work has been keeping me pretty busy and I've been sick for a while. We don't have *too* much left in this one. I hope you'll stick around and read what's left! 
> 
> As always, let me know what you thought! It brings me so much joy to read everyone's comments!


	13. Welcome to the World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I present unto you the final chapter of What to Expect!   
> Fun fact: It's been nine months since I started this story. It's about time Amy had this baby.

The last month of Amy’s pregnancy was filled with preparations. Amy and Jake were nervous about everything. They’d practiced changing diapers on baby dolls. They’d bet each other of who could do it faster. Once, in a fit of panic, Amy asked Terry if they could practice on his new baby. He happily accepted.

They’d set up her nursery. Everything was in place, just waiting for her to arrive. But Amy was worried about her arrival. “Ames,” Jake sighed, “We’ve done plenty of dry runs.” He sat down next to her, offering her a glass of water. “Look, we have practiced me driving you to the hospital from here. We’ve practiced taking a cab from here to the hospital. And we practiced taking the train even though we agreed we’d never do that. I think we’re good. I think the best thing we can do now is just relax.”

Amy nodded, taking a deep breath as she rubbed her hand over her large belly. “You’re right. I’m sorry. You just know how I am about being prepared.”

Jake smiled, leaning over and kissing the side of her head. “You have nothing to apologize for. I am nervous too. Somehow trying to calm you down calms me down too.”

Amy grinned, leaning her head on his shoulder. “I guess that means we’re pretty perfect, huh?”

With a laugh, Jake replied. “I mean, I think so.”

They were laying in bed that night, close to sleep when Jake shot up into a sitting position. “Oh God.”

“What?” Amy asked in a panic, sitting up next to him.

“We haven't practiced from work,” Jake shared his realization. “What if you go into labor at the precinct?”

Amy nodded, rubbing a hand along his back. “Babe, we’ll try it tomorrow, okay?”

“What if tomorrow the baby comes and we haven't had a chance to try?” Jake asked, voice tinged with worry.

“My doctor said that I’m on track for my due date or even to be late,” Amy reminded him. “I’m not due for two more weeks. We’ll practice tomorrow. Okay?”

Jake looked over at her, noting her calm demeanor. He nodded. “Okay.”

They both laid back down and Amy chuckled to herself. “I see what you mean about how calming me down calms you down.” She reached out and grabbed his hand where it lay next to hers. “Let’s hope we can hold onto this when the baby gets here.”

The next few weeks included several more practice trips to the hospital from various places Jake and Amy went, doctors visits, and sleepless nights where they talked over anything and everything related to the baby’s arrival. They were getting close to Amy’s due date and while very excited for their baby to come, Jake and Amy were also a bit terrified.

“It’s just...everything is going to change,” Amy relayed to Rosa one day in the break room. “And don’t get me wrong, I’m so excited about it, but I mean it’s a lot. For one, Jake and I have only been together a few months. What if our relationship isn’t up for parenting?”

Rosa stared at Amy. “Well I have a few comments. One, of course everything is going to change. You’re bringing a new life into the world. But Amy, that’s awesome. I mean you’re sitting here drinking tea and developing lungs. I’m just sitting here drinking coffee.” Amy had to chuckle at Rosa’s point. “You guys are ready for it. Believe me, we all can tell. You’re just getting nervous.” Amy nodded thoughtfully. “And as for the other part,” Rosa continued. “You and Jake are going to be fine. It’s so obvious how stupidly in love you are. And I mean you could have been together nine months ago if you hadn’t been an idiot,” she added with a devious smirk.

“Gee, thanks, Rosa. Go ahead and remind me of my past failures.”

Rosa shrugged. “Yeah, sure, your relationship hasn’t been the most conventional. You got pregnant, moved in together, and _then_ got together. But it’s clearly working. You guys seem solid. Are you not?”

Amy looked out the window of the breakroom at Jake sitting at his desk. A small smile grew on her face. “No, we’re good. I guess it’s just something I worry about. You know?”

“Amy, he’d have been with you over a year ago if you’d have said yes,” Rosa reminded her. “I don’t think it’s an issue of feelings not being there.”

“I don’t think it’s an issue of that either,” Amy agreed. “I just worry that, I don’t know, somehow as a team we’re going to break down once the baby gets here.”

Rosa laughed. “Well that’s officially the dumbest thing you’ve ever said.” Amy gaped at her. “Your friendship, your relationship, your entire interaction was built upon being a good team. You guys have been partners for like six years. You’re definitely a solid team. I know it’s easier said than done, but you just need to stop worrying about it. I guarantee you that there’s nothing Jake wouldn’t do for you and that baby.”

Amy nodded in agreement. “I guess you’re right. I’m just at the point where we’ve done basically everything we can until she gets here. So all that’s left to do is worry.”

“I get that. Just don’t put thoughts in your head that don’t belong there,” Rosa encouraged as she stood up to leave.

Amy sat there a while later, thinking over what Rosa had said. She certainly was right about a lot. For being a Type A person, Amy didn’t like having things out of her control. But as she ran a hand over her large belly, Amy realized that she’d spent the last nine months with things basically out of her control and it had all ended up going pretty well. She figured she could last at least another week.

Amy slowly got out of her chair and waddled her way back into the bullpen. Jake looked up and smiled at her as she started to sit down in her chair. Charles walked over towards their desk clump. Amy figured he had nothing to say and was instead just there to observe. He’d been doing that a lot lately. He’d walk over, stare at Amy and sometimes Jake, and openly marvel at the fact that they were about to be parents. After the fifth time, Amy started ignoring it, choosing instead to focus on her work. She was looking at her computer when Charles cleared his throat.

“Look, Amy, I know this is none of my business,” he began.

“Then I’d stay out of it,” Jake warned, not looking up from his file.

“Amy, you just look so uncomfortable,” Charles continued. “Why don’t you go home? I mean you’re a week from your due date. Don’t you want to stop working?”

Amy could hear Jake sucking in a breath through his teeth on the other side of the desk. Behind him, Terry was shaking his head at Charles. Amy stood up from her chair, her protruding belly invading Charles’s space. “Charles, honey, why don’t you go back over to your desk where you can attend to the “Single, male, will never physically have a baby and therefore will never be in this particular situation” type of things that you can handle and leave me, my baby, and my decisions alone? That sound okay?” Amy suggested calmly.

Fear was evident on his face as he slowly backed away and walked to his desk. Amy grinned smugly as Rosa and Gina clapped for her while Jake and Terry shook their heads humoredly.

^^

Jake was in the evidence lock up, looking for some evidence when Charles walked in. “Hey Bud,” Jake called, not looking up from the box he was rifling through.

“Can I ask you something?” Charles asked.

“I told you, we haven’t decided on whether or not we like Charlotte for the name,” Jake replied quickly.

“That’s not what I was going to ask,” Charles clarified. “Although it’s a lovely name that just happens to be the female version of my name.” Jake shook his head as he laughed. “No, I just wondered what you thought of the fact that Amy’s still working.”

Jake looked up at Charles with a sigh. “Did she not already shut you down? Kinda seemed like she put the fear of God into you.”

“I just don’t get why she’s still working,” Charles asked, seemingly concerned. “I mean, come on, doesn’t it bother you?”

“Why would it bother me?” Jake asked. “Look, Amy expressed to me a few months ago that she wanted to work as long as she could. She’s out of the field so Holt had no problems with her working until she had the baby. And it’s none of my business anyway.”

“Well you’re the father.”

“But _she’s_ the one carrying the baby,” Jake explained. “I did my part nine months ago. I mean sure, I’m gonna be there for her at every step, but I’m not going to tell her what to do. If she wants to work as long as she can, who am I to stop her?” He sighed, setting down the file he was holding. “And I get why she wants to. When we’re here, we at least have something else to focus on. But when we’re at home, we just think only about the baby. And we’re both a little stressed. I mean, don’t get me wrong, we’re both so thrilled and really excited. But just waiting for her to come and thinking about everything that can go wrong is stressful. I don’t blame Amy for wanting to work so she has something to take her mind off of it.”

Charles nodded. “I guess I hadn’t thought of it that way. I figured she’d want some time to relax before the baby came.”

“Yeah, I get that. But for Amy, I don’t think it would be relaxing.”

“Gotcha,” Charles replied. “Maybe I should go apologize. I don’t want her to think I look down on her for still working. I just didn’t want her to put needless strain on herself or the baby.”

Jake smiled. “That’s nice of you. Maybe wait a bit before going back in. She’s probably still a bit heated,” he advised with a laugh.

^^

They were down to two days till Amy’s due date. A bag had been packed and sitting next to the front door of their apartment for two weeks. They walked right past it as they went to work that morning. As they walked down the stairs to the car, they were still tossing around baby names.

Amy sighed, getting into the car. “How is it that she can come any day now and we still don’t have a name?”

“Don’t worry,” Jake tried. “I’m sure when the time is right, we’ll figure out the name.”

Amy looked over at him, clearly unsure. “I hope you’re right.”

The morning progressed normally. Amy sat at her desk doing work. Jake wrote a report across from her. Charles cooked weird food in the kitchen that made the bullpen stink. Rosa beat a printer. Gina sat on her phone. Terry ate yogurt. Holt worked from his office. Hitchcock and Scully slept at their desks. The day was going as normally as ever. That is until 11:34.

Captain Holt burst from his office, calling everyone’s attention. His voice seemed to be tinged with concern. All eyes were on him. “There’s been an emergency. I need everyone in the briefing room immediately.” He strode quickly to the briefing room, everyone moving quickly behind him.

Jake jumped up, wondering what was happening that had Holt so concerned. “Jake!” Amy called. He looked over quickly to see her struggling to stand. “This seems urgent and I can’t move fast enough. Can you wheel me in there?” Amy asked, clearly ashamed to ask.

“Of course.” Jake got behind her chair and pushed her into the briefing room.

“That’s a great idea,” Scully cried from behind them. “Sarge, would you push me into the briefing room.” Jake looked around to see the glare on Terry’s face. He and Amy tried to stifle their laughter as Jake pushed her the rest of the way into the room.

The briefing room was full and Holt began explaining the situation immediately. “I have been notified that mere minutes ago, there was a chemical weapon stolen. They have closed off a perimeter in order to catch the perpetrator and as I am told, we are in that perimeter. Anyone who is in the blocks closed off are on lockdown. No one is allowed in or out until the situation is handled.”

“A chemical weapon? Like a bomb?” Rosa interrupted.

“Also, we’re cops. Don’t they want our help?” Terry asked as well.

“They would not release the full details of this chemical weapon. Apparently it was being manufactured in a lab not far from here. All we know is that it is very dangerous to both the thief and the people in the surrounding area. They do not know what the person’s motives were for stealing this item,” Holt explained. “Also, I offered our help and they declined.”

A wave of panic swept over Jake. A chemical weapon had the potential to be released and Amy and the baby were in range? He tried to stare ahead at Holt so as not to give away his fear to Amy. They were nervous enough about everything already. But he didn’t like feeling like a sitting duck. The whole squad was basically trapped in the precinct. It didn’t make sense that whoever was in charge of this didn’t want their help.

“Sir, did they give you any indication of how long we would be on lockdown?” Amy spoke up from her chair against the wall. Jake looked over at her, trying to read her mood.

“I am afraid not, Santiago,” Holt replied.

“And they’re pretty set on this whole “no one in or out” thing?” Amy continued.

Holt furrowed his brow as others turned to look at Amy. “I believe so.”

Amy nodded understandingly. “Gotcha, just checking.”

“Is something the matter, Detective?” Holt asked.

Amy shrugged, shaking her head. “Uh, no. I mean my water just broke, but nothing too big.”

“Wait, what?” Jake asked, standing up and rushing the few steps over to her. He knelt down in front of her, unsure of what to do.  

“Are you serious?” Terry cried.

Amy nodded. “I’m sure it’s no big deal. I mean labor takes a long time right. They wouldn’t admit me at the hospital right now anyway.”

“Sir, are you sure they won’t let us help?” Charles asked. “Surely having more people on hand would be good.”

“I asked repeatedly, Boyle,” Holt admitted. “Homeland Security assured me they didn’t need the Nine-Nine’s help.”

“Wait a minute,” Jake said, a realization hitting him. “Homeland Security is handling this?” Holt nodded. “Did you get a name of who’s in charge?”

“I spoke with an Agent Kendrick.”

Jake dropped his head to Amy’s knee. “Oh God. This is my fault. We’re trapped in here with Amy in labor because of me.”

“Oh come on. That was almost a year ago,” Terry pointed out. “You really think he’s still pissed?”

“Why else would they specifically say they didn’t want our help?” Jake offered.

“That seems like a stretch,” Charles assured from across the room.

“I don’t know,” Rosa said with a grimace. “They were pretty pissed that we blew their simulation.”

When Jake felt a hand on his shoulder, he turned back to look at Amy. “I don’t blame you, Jake,” she promised him. “I mean what are the odds of all of this happening at the same time?”

Jake nodded, laying a hand on Amy’s where it lay on his shoulder. Suddenly her hand curled into a clench beneath his. He felt as her nails dug into his skin. “Ames?”

Quickly, she released his shoulder, letting out a strong breath. “Okay, so I believe I just had a contraction.”

“Good God,” Jake sighed. “Guys, what are we going to do?”

“The first thing we need to do is make Amy comfortable,” Terry said, taking charge. “Let’s get her out of this chair and into some dry clothes.”

Jake nodded, standing up quickly and wheeling Amy out of the briefing room. “Take her to my office,” Holt called behind him. Jake steered her there as Charles ran off to find better clothes.

Amy wrapped her arm around Jake’s shoulder as he helped move her from the chair to Holt’s couch. She laid down against the black leather with a groan. “So much for practice,” she sighed.

Jake knelt next to the couch, grabbing one of her hands in his. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay. I’m going to make sure that it’s all going to be okay. I promise.”

Amy nodded, squeezing his hand in hers. “I trust you.”

“If it’s cool with you, I’m going to go talk to the others about what the hell we should do.”

“That sounds like a good plan,” Amy reasoned, letting go of his hand.

Jake leaned in and kissed her forehead before departing Holt’s office. The rest of the squad was convened just beyond the door. “So anybody got any idea of what the hell we’re gonna do?” Jake asked, panic coloring his voice.

“You need to calm down, Jake,” Terry advised.

“That's easy for you to say,” Jake yelled back. “When Sharon’s water broke, she got to the hospital. Amy can't leave the precinct. No one in or out means her doctor can't come here. What are we going to do? One of us is going to have to deliver the baby.” Jake closed his eyes and sighed at the realization.

Charles spoke quietly. “I’d be happy to. I’m actually an unlicensed doula.”

Jake scrunched his face in reply. Charles was not the ideal candidate.

“I could do it,” Rosa said softly.

Everyone turned to look at her. “What?” They said in unison.

“I delivered a baby on a case when I was a beat cop,” she explained hesitantly. “Also I delivered one of my nieces when my sister and I got trapped in an elevator.”

“Wow,” Jake breathed. “How many kids have you delivered?”

“Three,” Rosa said with a shrug.

“And how many have you delivered, Charles?” Gina asked.

With a defeated tone, Charles answered, “One.”

“So Rosa it is,” Jake confirmed, walking back toward Holt’s office with Rosa following.

Jake knelt down next to Amy, his hand immediately reaching out to rub her head, trying to comfort her in any way he could. “So I found someone who is going to deliver the baby if we can't get out in time to get to the hospital.”

Amy nodded, a scared look on her face. “Okay. Who is it?” Jake looked back at Rosa who smiled tightly. “Rosa?” Amy asked, clearly unsure.

“It was her or Charles,” Jake mentioned.

“Rosa!” Amy cheered. “Welcome to the birth.”

Jake burst out laughing, kissing her head. “That's my girl.”

Rosa laughed too. “Okay well I’m gonna go...prep. Or something.”

Amy turned to Jake, tears brimming in her eyes. “Jake, this is wrong. This isn't how it's supposed to happen. I’m supposed to be in a hospital. What if something goes wrong? Rosa doesn't know what to do.”

Jake kept rubbing her head, trying to calm down her panic. He knew he wouldn't be good enough at calming her down since he was a mess too. “Look, I know this isn't what we planned, but I trust Rosa. And your doctor has said the whole time that you’re super healthy. The baby is in the right position. She’s not birch.”

“Breach,” Amy corrected with a small laugh.

“Right,” Jake laughed. “Ames, I know this wasn't what we planned, but you can do this.”

Amy reached out and held one hand to Jake’s face. She looked sad. “I guess we don't have much of a choice.”

“Not exactly,” Jake agreed with a sigh. “But look, you are without a doubt the strongest woman I know. And if anyone could give birth at work, without an epidural, on their boss’s couch, damn it, it would be you!”

Amy smiled, laughing a little as the tears spilled from her eyes. “Okay.” She squeezed Jake’s shoulder. “I love you,” she whispered.

Jake kissed the hand on his shoulder. “I love you too.”

“And we can do this, right?” Amy asked hesitantly.

“It doesn't really seem like we have a choice now,” Jake joked. He could see the unease on Amy’s face. He stood up, sitting in what little room there was on the couch. Jake took both of her hands in his and looked her right in the eye. “Amy, we can handle this. We are ready for this baby. We’ve done all the prep we could. We know just about everything we need to. We’re a good team. And we can do this.”

Amy nodded through fresh tears.

Jake leaned forward. “Look, we may not have done this in the most conventional of ways. Literally none of the steps we took were in the right order,” he admitted with a laugh. “But we’re solid. And we are going to be good parents. We’ve got a strong support staff, ready to help us if we need them. Amy, you’re going to be the best mom ever. We can do this. I promise.”

When Amy nodded that time, she seemed more confident. “Okay,” she whispered, squeezing both his hands. “Oh God,” she yelled, squeezing his hands harder. “Contraction,” she breathed, trying to explain.

“Squeeze my hands,” he encouraged. “Punch me if you need to.”

Amy laughed and she relaxed. “Don't tempt me. You put me in this position.”

Jake laughed, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. “Yeah, my bad.”

“I’m sure once I’m not in pain, you’ll be back in my good graces,” Amy joked through a groan.

^^

It had been a few hours and Amy’s labor was moving along. She was still stuck at the precinct and Rosa was trying her best to be her doctor. The two of them were sitting in Holt’s office while Jake was trying to find any possible way for them to get to a hospital.

At the end of a particularly bad contraction, Amy huffed loudly. Rosa looked up from her place on the floor next to the couch. Rosa released a dry laugh. “You really give a whole new meaning of working till you drop.”

“Ugh, this is some kind of cosmic joke,” Amy groaned loudly.

“Labor?” Rosa asked, a curious look on her face.

“No. The fact that I’m the person who has to have everything planned and needs to be in control and _this_ is how the one of the biggest events of my life goes?” Amy cried. “It's not fair.”

Rosa nodded solemnly before shrugging. “That's true, but think of everything that's led to this biggest moment of your life? It's not like any of that is how you’d have planned it. I’m sure you wouldn't have _chosen_ to get pregnant after a drunken night with Jake. I’m absolutely sure you wouldn't have planned to find out you were pregnant while he was dating someone else. I was there, so I know that's true. I’m sure you wouldn't have planned to have a panic attack in the bathroom at work when you saw the positive pregnancy test. I’m sure you wouldn't have planned any of the steps in your pregnancy. But it's all worked out so far, hasn't it?”

Amy thought through what Rosa was saying. She had a point. So far nothing had really gone according to plan. But that hasn't meant it's all been terrible. She and Jake have been really happy. Even more so after they actually got together.

“I guess that's fair,” Amy admitted. “But that doesn't mean I wanted my childbirth to go this way.”

Rosa frowned. “I guess that's a good point. If anything was supposed to go right, you’d want it to be this.”

Suddenly another contraction was coming. Amy braced herself against the couch as the pain descended again. Amy started yelling. In pain. In frustration. In wishing that she wasn't giving birth in her mentor’s office. She felt Rosa’s hand clasp around hers tightly, reassuring her that she wasn't alone.

Once she could talk again, Amy said, “Ugh, I don't see how this could be worse.”

“Hmm,” Rosa said, clearly thinking of ways it could be worse. “Jake could be trapped here and you could have gone into labor on your own at home.”

Amy nodded. “Okay, yeah, that would be worse.”

“Plus, I’m pretty sure your apartment is in the lockdown range so you’d be trapped by yourself,” she continued.

“So it's good I didn't listen to Charles and stopped working…” Amy realized.

“It's always good to not listen to Charles,” Rosa agreed with a laugh. They laughed together before sitting in silence, waiting for another contraction.

Jake walked slowly into the room. He sat down next to the couch, right by Amy’s head. Reaching up, he rubbed her head, pushing the hair out of her face. “I’m sorry I can't get you out of here, Ames.”

Amy held his hand against her face, leaning into it. “Jake, it's not your fault. Please don't feel guilty about it.”

Jake laughed. “Oh you know I do. And sadly not much is going to change that.”

Amy leaned over and kissed the side of his head. “I know. But it's just the way things are. Makes sense that the two of us, textbook over-workers would have a kid born at the precinct.”

Jake and Rosa both laughed. “You seem a lot more at ease than you were just five minutes ago.”

Amy shrugged. “The closer my contractions get, the more accepting I become of this situation.”

“How close are they?” Jake asked.

Rosa looked at her watch. “Last one was about six minutes ago.”

Amy braced herself against the couch as she felt another one approaching. She reached out, grabbing on to Jake’s arm tightly. She felt her face contorting in her pain. Jake held on to her hand, trying to coach her through her contraction.

^^

After another hour or so, Jake excused himself to go find Captain Holt. “Any change?”

He shook his head sadly. “I am sorry, Peralta. I wish I could help get Santiago to the hospital.”

Jake nodded solemnly. “You and me both, Sir. I feel pretty helpless right now.”

Terry walked over, putting a hand on Jake’s shoulder. “I hate to break it to you, but you’d feel that way whether she was here or at the hospital.”

Jake laughed dryly. “I guess that makes me feel a bit better.”

Charles ran over quickly to where they were standing. “I just got a call. They caught the person and have the chemical weapon! We’re out of lockdown!”

Jake’s heart leapt. He finally felt like he could help Amy. “Oh my God! We can get Amy to a hospital!”

“There’s an ambulance on the way to take her!” Charles exclaimed.

Jake threw his arms around Charles as tears brimmed in his eyes. “Thank you,” he breathed. Jake ran for Holt’s office, bursting in quickly. “There’s an ambulance on the way.”

Rosa was standing behind Amy, holding her in a strange position. “It's too late,” Rosa said sadly.

“What do you mean?” Jake cried.

“Her contractions are too close together,” Rosa explained. “We’re moving her off the couch to the floor. Can you move that pad?”

Jake looked down and saw the pad they use when they spar in training. “Did this get cleaned?”

Rosa chuckled. “Of course. You think Amy’d let her newborn near something that wasn't cleaned?”

Jake looked at Amy with a smile. “Good point,” he admitted as he spread it out on the floor. He stood up and helped Rosa lay Amy down on the pad. Jake sat down behind her, holding her up. He kissed the side of her head. “You’re doing a great job, Ames.”

Rosa was down on the floor, checking to see the progress. Amy grabbed onto Jake’s arms on either side of her. “I don't know if I can do this, Jake,” she whispered back to him.

“Hey now,” he said quickly. “You can! You’ve already gotten this far. That baby is coming and your body already knows what to do. You can do this because you’re the strongest person I know.”

She turned her head back to look at him and he held her gaze. Suddenly she nodded and turned back around. “Okay,” she said quietly. “We can do this.”

Jake rubbed his hands up and down her arms. “Yes we can. You can. And then we’ll have our baby.” He felt Amy squeeze her hands against his legs.

“It’ll be pretty soon,” Rosa added. “I can see the head. She’s crowning.”

“You know a lot of terminology,” Jake noted with a laugh.

“Well after the first one, I figured I should learn a bit more,” Rosa admitted. “Amy, you’re going to want to push.”

Amy yelled as she tried pushing. Jake cheered her on from behind her. Rosa was nodding as she watched the progress Amy was making. Suddenly the door burst open, with Charles and several EMTs entering the room. Rosa quickly shielded Amy from onlookers. “They’re here to take her to the hospital,” Charles announced.

“Well guess what, she’s crowning,” Rosa retorted. “They can wait and take the happy family in a few.”

“Charles, please get out,” Jake asked calmly, giving him a significant look.

“Right,” Charles said awkwardly. “Good luck, Amy! We’re all pulling for you!” Quickly he ran out and slammed the door behind him.

The EMTs settled around the three of them, helping Rosa deliver the baby. It only took a few more pushes for the baby to be born. Amy was exhausted but looked blissfully happy. Jake looked in awe as he saw his baby girl for the first time. Tears streamed down his cheeks as a shockingly smiling Rosa held up their crying baby for them. Jake quickly ripped off his plaid shirt to wrap the baby in, in lieu of a blanket. The EMTs cut the cord and Jake was so enthralled at getting to see his child that he wasn’t even mad they took his job. He sat behind Amy as she held their child in her arms, greeting her for the first time.

“Oh my God,” she whispered. “Jake, look at her.”

Jake was incredibly choked up as he stared down at his daughter. He kissed the top of Amy’s head. “She’s beautiful. Just like her mother.” He paused, still staring. “I’m just going to pretend that I don’t see all the gross stuff.”

Amy laughed. “Jake,” she half-heartedly scolded. “Do you want to hold her?” Amy asked, looking back at Jake. He wondered if she really meant it. The look in her eye made it seem like she never wanted to let their daughter go.

“If you’re willing to let me,” Jake teased. Amy laughed through her own tears. One of the EMTs moved to hold Amy where she sat as Jake moved to take the baby from her. Very gently, she handed him the baby. Fresh tears sprung to his eyes as he held his daughter in his arms for the first time. Jake gasped at the sight of her. She was smaller and more wiggly than he’d imagined. “Hi,” he breathed. “I’m your dad,” he told her. “I promise you that I am always going to be there for you, no matter what. I love you so so much.” He heard Amy sniffling next to him. Looking over, he saw tears flowing down her face as she stared at them happily. “She’s amazing,” he told her. He leaned in and pressed his forehead to hers. “And you did it. You brought her here. In the precinct instead of a hospital. Without any kind of drugs or modern medicine. You did it. I love you so much.”

Amy shared a wet laugh. “I love you too.”

Jake slowly handed the baby back to Amy and sat next to her, admiring the both of them. For a moment, they stayed there, absorbing the fact that they were now parents, that they were now a family. All too soon, one of the EMTs burst their bubble.

“Ma’am, I’ll give you a bit longer, but we’re going to have to get you ready to move to the hospital,” he informed them.

Sooner than they would have liked, Amy was loaded onto a gurney, Jake following behind with their baby. They were wheeling Amy out of the precinct when she stopped them. “Wait,” she called. “Rosa!” Rosa walked quickly over to stand next to Amy. “Thank you,” Amy said sincerely as she squeezed Rosa’s hand. “I can never repay you for what you did for us today,” she continued through her tears.

Rosa laughed. “Please, it was nothing. It’s not like labor.”

Amy shared her laugh, squeezing her hand one more time. “Well still. Thank you.”

“Of course,” Rosa said with a nod. “Now go to the damn hospital.”

Amy laughed, clutching at her stomach as she did. Once she let go of Rosa’s hand, the EMTs loaded her into the elevator and their little family headed out of the precinct.

^^

Once they got to the hospital, everything was a blur. Amy really didn’t like the part where they took the baby to get her checked out. She told Jake that he had to stay with the baby and commanded him to leave her side. The doctors of course were worried about her as well. Every nurse she talked to kept mentioning how brave she was to give birth in a police precinct without even a doctor present. Amy shrugged it off. After all, it wasn’t like she had much of a choice given the circumstances. There was a flurry of doctors and nurses all making sure that Amy and the baby were in good shape. Amy’s anxiety finally passed once she was reunited with her daughter.

The nurse wheeled her in in a bassinet, Jake following closely behind. “She’s perfect,” the nurse said happily as she held out the baby for Amy to hold.

Amy smiled and laughed as she stared down at her child. “Well of course she is.” She couldn’t believe it. Her daughter was here in her arms. Amy was a mother. It seemed impossible. After months of her little kicks and her almost nightly hiccups, Amy’s baby was finally in her arms. She thought back to months before when Amy felt terrified to know she was pregnant. She remembered the weekend she spent wondering if she even wanted a baby, if she was even cut out to be a mother. And as she looked down at her daughter, swaddled and cuddled in her arms, Amy was certain there was nothing that would have made her happier than this.

A telltale click of a camera made Amy finally look away from her daughter. Jake was beaming from behind his phone. “Why don’t you show her off a bit?” Jake joked. Amy happily obliged, presenting their daughter to the camera with a smile. After Jake took several, he sat down on the side of her bed, wrapping his arm around her. “She really is awesome.” Amy nodded in agreement. “And so are you,” Jake added. Amy turned to look at him. “I really am so proud of you, Ames.” She leaned into him as he kissed her on the temple.

“It was all worth it,” she replied simply.

^^

It was several blissful (and sleepy) hours later when the squad came by to officially meet the baby. Rosa, Charles, Terry, Gina, and Captain Holt were standing in Amy’s hospital room carrying gifts and balloons all for them. They were crowded around Amy’s bed, all in awe of the baby.

“She’s so tiny,” Gina commented quietly.

“Seven pounds, 13 ounces,” Jake announced proudly to the room.

“Aww,” Gina replied. “So what’s her name? Gina? Regina? Any of that?”

Amy laughed as she looked over at Jake holding their daughter. “Her name is Rose.”

Everyone looked over at Amy and then back to the baby. “That sounds a lot like Ros _a_ ,” Gina remarked, looking between Jake and Amy.

Jake walked over and handed the baby to Rosa. “Yeah, it does, doesn’t it?”

Rosa looked down at the baby in her arms and then at Jake and Amy. “You didn’t? You named your baby after me?”

Amy shrugged. “I mean kind of. We both really liked the name Rose. And I told you that we couldn’t repay you for what you did for us. But we figured this might be a small way of honoring you. You were there for me in my time of need both at the beginning of my pregnancy and at the end.” Amy shared a small smile with Jake. “Plus, we liked giving our daughter a badass, awesome woman to look up to.”

Rosa’s mouth tightened before breaking into a smile. “God, I hate that I’m holding a baby right now so I can’t wipe away these tears before you losers see them.” Everyone laughed quietly at Rosa’s dismay.

“So what’s her middle name?” Charles asked. “Charlotte?”

Jake laughed. “Sorry man, no. It’s Caterina.”

“Caterina?” Terry asked. “That’s beautiful. Where did you find that?”

“Well Amy’s favorite grandma was named Caterina. And my nana’s name was Catherine, which is basically the same name,” Jake explained with a small smile.

“Oh my God,” Gina cried. “You named your daughter after Nana? Oh man, she’d be so touched.” Jake nodded happily in reply.

Charles walked over to take the baby from Rosa. “Well welcome to this crazy little family, Rose Caterina.”

Amy sniffled loudly which made everyone look over at her. She quickly tried to wipe her tears away. “God, I wish I could stop crying. These hormones are killing me.”

“I think everyone understands, Babe,” Jake soothed as he sat down on her bed next to her.

They looked on as their friends cooed and awwed over their little girl. Amy reached out and grabbed Jake’s hands. In a soft voice she said to him, “Charles was right. This is a crazy little family.”

Jake laughed, squeezing her hand. “Yeah, but it’s ours.”

^^

Slowly, the squad filtered out, bidding goodbye to the new family. Sure enough, their families came in to meet the newest member. Karen sobbed as she held her first grandchild. Victor and Teresa weren’t much better. Everyone was so happy for Jake and Amy and their new arrival. The story of her birth was going to be one that was told endlessly. Everyone pretty much agreed it was the wildest one in both families.

After a couple of long days, Jake and Amy finally got to take Rose home. Amy was settled down on the couch, ready for Jake to give her the baby. “Okay,” he announced. “She is changed and happy again. Also asleep again. I swear, babies sleep so much,” he mused. Amy laughed. “And as I am the swaddling king, she is perfectly swaddled.” He held the baby out grandly for Amy to take. She smiled as she took her daughter to hold in her arms.

She was staring down at her sleeping daughter’s face when she saw something move out of the corner of her eye. A little foot had escaped the swaddle. Amy scoffed. “For someone who calls himself the swaddling king, she sure got a foot out quickly. Maybe you...should…” She cut off as she noticed something shiny on Rose’s big toe. Amy held her foot in her hand and noticed a ring dangling from her daughter’s toe. “What the..?” She looked up to find Jake down on one knee in front of her. “What?” she asked disbelievingly.

“Surprise,” he said softly. Amy stared at him, her mouth agape. “Ames, I love you so much. You are an amazing person and my best friend. I love everything about you. You are my rock and you are the bravest person around. I know that you’re going to say that it’s too soon, that we haven’t even been together that long. But to that I say that it may be soon, but I already know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I already know that there is no one else in the world I would want to share all of this with, no one else I’d rather raise this child with. There’s no one for me but you. So... Amy Santiago, will you marry me?”

Amy felt tears trickling down her face. She nodded quickly. “Jake Peralta, I will marry you.” Jake smiled brightly, jumping up off his knees, and leaning down to kiss her. He took the ring from her and slid it on her finger before sitting down next to her. Amy shared a look of happiness with him before she leaned in to kiss him again. “I love you so much,” she said, her head rested on his shoulder.

Jake kissed the top of her head before stretching over to look at Rose. “Did you hear that, Rose? Your mommy and daddy are getting married.”

“Oh my God,” Amy laughed. She sat back, wondering how they were going to plan a wedding while navigating life with a newborn.

Jake stared at her, seemingly knowing what she was thinking. “No worries, Ames. I’m sure you’ll have this wedding at least mentally planned by the time your maternity leave is over.”

Amy blew out a laugh. “You may be right.”

“You’re mentally planning right now, aren’t you?” Jake asked with a grin.

Amy scoffed. “No,” she replied unconvincingly. Truly, she was thinking through a few details but mostly she was thinking through how much had changed in the last nine months and how she didn’t regret one single part.

^^

The next week was filled with crying (both baby and parents), naps, dirty diapers, calls to their mothers, and more visits from friends. Charles screamed when he saw the engagement ring on Amy’s finger. Jake and Amy had to calmly remind him that there was a sleeping baby in the apartment. They were so happy to share the news of their engagement with the squad. Gina verbally wondered if that meant they had to throw them an engagement party. “I mean we _just_ threw them a baby shower,” she reasoned.

Overall, the first week of having the baby home was exhausting but wonderful. Amy wasn’t really excited about Jake going back to work the next day, but she seemed more sure about it than Jake did. Amy woke up in the middle of the night to an empty bed. She looked around but Jake wasn’t in the room. Looking in the bassinet, Rose wasn’t there either. Amy sighed, getting out of bed and wandering around to find Jake and Rose.

She found him sitting in the rocking chair in the nursery. “Did she wake up?” Amy whispered from the doorway. Jake looked up, startled. He shook his head before looking back down at the baby. “Well then why is she out of her bassinet? And why aren’t you asleep?” she asked.

Jake was silent as Amy walked in and knelt down next to the rocker. “I couldn’t sleep. I just...I don’t want to leave her tomorrow.” Amy gave a small sigh, reaching out to rub Jake’s arm. “She wasn’t awake, but I couldn’t resist holding her. I brought her in here in case I accidentally woke her up.”

Amy nodded as she watched Jake watch their baby. “Jake, you know going back to work doesn’t mean you’re _leaving_ her. Ending your paternity leave doesn’t make you your dad.”

Jake looked over at her. “Oh I know. I just genuinely don’t want to leave her. I mean she’s only been here for a little over a week, but I...I love her so much. I don’t want to spend a whole day away from her.”

Amy patted Jake’s arm comfortingly. “I know what you mean. I know I still have five more weeks but I’m terrified that eventually I’ll have to leave her.”

“I completely get why Terry freaked out after the twins were born,” Jake commented.

Amy leaned her chin on Jake’s arm, staring at Rose. “Yeah,” she agreed. “But look, you’ll be okay going back. I’m sure Charles will distract you from missing her too much.”

“It’s not just her that I’ll miss.”

Amy smiled, planting a kiss on his arm. “Well I’m sure you’ll get some exciting case that will distract you from us and then before you know it, you’ll get to come home and we’ll be waiting for you.”

Jake sighed. “I, uh, didn’t mention this to you earlier, but...while you were in labor, I asked Holt to place me on desk duty for a bit after I get back.”

“You did?” Amy asked, genuinely surprised by this news.

“Yeah,” Jake admitted. “It’s, it’s what I want. At least for a bit. I don’t want to have an incident with a mannequin or a piñata.”

Amy stared at Jake with a look of admiration. “I think that sounds smart. Dare I say, I think you’re growing.”

Jake chuckled, a grin spreading across his face. “Well you know, motherhood really opens a man’s eyes.”

Amy laughed as she flashed back to a moment with Jake out on the roof at the precinct. He wore a fake belly as he sighed dramatically about motherhood. “God, Jimmy Jabs,” she recalled fondly. “That feels like a decade ago.”

Jake looked down at Amy with a smile. “Yeah, a lot’s certainly changed since then, huh?”

“All for the better,” Amy replied happily, rubbing a soft hand over Rose’s head.

“Exactly,” Jake whispered. He sighed dramatically. “I guess I should get back to bed, shouldn’t I?”

Amy nodded. “Yeah, maybe you can get a half hour before she wakes up for her late night feed.”

They walked back into their room, gently placing their daughter in her bassinet. Jake settled into bed beside Amy, curling his arm around her. Amy laid her arm over his as she cuddled into him. Amy took one last look at Rose before closing her eyes. As Amy fell back asleep with her daughter beside her and her fiancé behind her, she marveled at her life and how beautifully it had suddenly become. She thought back to the night Gina forced them all to go out to get drinks. It had just been an ordinary day. But then again, didn’t every big life event start with just an ordinary day?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I feel like I have a lot to say now that I've wrapped up this story. One, this was so much fun to write. I've never had such an amazing reaction to something I wrote. I have truly been blown away by everyone's love for this story. Two, thank you to everyone who came to find me on tumblr and guilt me into updating. Knowing people were actively waiting for it gave me the motivation I needed to write more. I hope that this story as wrapped up in a way you liked. 
> 
> There are lots of little tidbits in there are a tip of the cap to the show. Like when Amy told Rosa "Welcome to the birth" was my take on "welcome to the murder!" I had to incorporate at least a little bit of the show's proposal in this because it was just too perfect not to. 
> 
> I want to say thank you to the people who let me yell at them about this story both before I wrote it and while I wrote it. 
> 
> Thanks to all of you who left sweet comments here. Each and every one was appreciated. 
> 
> I can't believe I finally finished this story. I've had it plotted in my head for so long but writing took a while. And then eventually it seemed too perfect to not let it end nine months after I started it. I can thank my work for that timing, I suppose. I feel like I've left my own baby here for you to read. (wow, I know that was terrible. Forgive me.) 
> 
> Anyway, THANK YOU FOR READING!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm excited to be writing this! I've had this idea in my head for a while. I hope you all enjoy it! Please let me know what you think! I love hearing from you guys!  
> Also, come talk to me if you want on tumblr! I'm three-drink-amy!


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